


What Now?

by 12GaugeRedHead



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 17:09:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 79,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4754414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/12GaugeRedHead/pseuds/12GaugeRedHead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This kind of stuff happened to other girls, not Darcy Lewis. She was a strong, confident woman who was raised in foster care, put herself through school, survived New Mexico and London and followed her heart, only to end up having to start all over again. </p><p>After pulling her big girl panties back on and ending up back at the tower Darcy tries to get herself back together. She is surrounded by friends close enough to be called family, and a few new faces she never knew she needed in her life. Taking a good hard look at yourself requires a lot of energy, time, and wine. Don't ever forget the wine. </p><p>Who knew going back to the days of scientist wrangling and disaster avoidance/prevention would lead her to everything she thought she didn't need.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Going Home

I’d been driving for 24 hours, give or take. I’d broken most traffic speed laws and only stopped for a 2 hour nap so I had made the trip in record time. I was finally parked 2 blocks down, in the only spot I could find near the tower. Sighing, I chose to forgo my usual rear view mirror check, before exiting the vehicle. I did not want to examine the events that had lead me this particular moment too closely. I would do that later, with Jane, and several bottles of wine.

~***~

I had left Kansas after Ian had slapped me. My first reaction had been shock. I mean this was Ian! Skinny, blonde, British, Ian! I could have snapped that guy like a glow stick, and probably would have, if I had seen it coming. He would not have a chance to do it again however. I had always told myself that if a man ever laid a hand on Darcy Lewis, he would only have the chance to do it once. There was no freaking way I was sticking around.

The slap had ended our fight abruptly. I think he was just as shocked as I was that he was capable of something like that. I had watched a few emotions flicker across his face. First was surprise, then concern, but they were both very quickly overridden with the same anger he’d had on his face pre-slap. He’d turned and left our apartment with the slam of the door, which had suited me just fine. There was nothing left to say anyways.

I’d very calmly walked to the bathroom, checked my swollen lip in the mirror. I looked just like the women in the movies who got backhanded by their men. This was not what I'd been hoping for when I'd wanted to look like beautiful actresses in movies. Awesome. But I guess everyone had to aspire to something.

I had opened the closet, chose a VS duffle, chucked in the bathroom essentials I had already grabbed, pulled my favourite clothes from the closet, drawers and laundry and stuffed them in the bag. Then I’d grabbed me keys and purse and was loaded into my Civic within 30 minutes.

Grabbing my phone I’d texted Jane:

Up for a visit? I really need to see you.

It had taken her less then a minute to respond.

Always. Don’t even need to ask. When does your flight get in?

Driving

Darce, no. it’s a 24 hour drive. I will pay for your flight.

Long story. Go and science. I will be there tomorrow night. Love you.

I’d turned the ringer off on my phone and chucked it onto the passenger seat. It had started to vibrate almost immediately, but there was no way I was going to answer it. Once I heard her voice I knew I would have started to cry. Once I started I wouldn’t stop. My tears were tied to my anger, frustration, sadness…basically everything and I couldn’t expend that amount of energy right now with the drive I’d had ahead of me.

I’d pulled into a truck stop, bought a large thermos of coffee, because, COFFEE and a bag of shoe string liquorice.

I’d left a note for Ian:

YOU HANDLE ALL OF THIS. WHAT I WANTED, I TOOK.

Darcy Lewis did not mince words often, but this seemed like the perfect time to give it a try.

I’d loaded up my “Mad as Hell” playlist, and turned onto the highway. The GPS had read 22 hrs and 34 minutes from Butt Fuck No Where Kansas to Avengers Tower in New York City.

 

~***~

  
I was jittery, my hands shaking as I reached for my duffle in the trunk. It wasn’t just from my nerves, although those were completely strung out. I was choosing to blame the gallons of coffee and junk food I had consumed and the torturous drive. The 2 hours “rest” in the truck stop parking lot was all I’d been able to stand.

I knew my lip looked horrible. Having such pale skin, the small blue bruise and red split stood out in sharp contrast. I had briefly considered trying to cover it with makeup, but there was nothing that would mask the swelling. And hello, SPIES.

I was rumpled and probably a little ripe, but there was nothing I could do to help either of those things. So I dropped Jane a quick text, it was only 10:30pm, to tell her I was making my way to the lobby. I really did not want to head up to the common room of the tower and have to explain my face to whatever Avengers just happened to be there at the time. If Jane met me in the lobby I could see her, steel myself, before I had to face the rest of them.

As I walked down the street I started imagining just how THAT would go. At fist they would all go silent (a rarity) as they took in my dishevelled appearance and marked up face. Their quick minds would piece everything together, along with my sudden appearance at the tower.

Natasha’s eyes would just narrow.

Bruce would be seated next to her, he wouldn’t say anything either, but his hands would clench into fists.

Thor would jump up, Mew Mew in hand, and demand in his booming voice, to know who had caused me such a grievous offense.

Clint would swear a blue streak and would be the first to approach me.

Steve…he would quietly walk up to me and ask if I was okay, tipping my chin up with his knuckles so he could take a good look at my lip.

Tony would ask me who he needed to scrag, or cut, or maim. Then he would probably hand me a glass of whatever he was drinking and call me kid.

I wanted to avoid ALL of that.

I pushed into Avengers Tower through the spinning glass doors into the opulent (it’s Tony Stark) lobby, all marble walls and fine furniture. I nodded at security, they knew me, and nodded back. The elevator dinged, signalling Jane’s arrival to the lobby.

I roughly hoisted my bag onto my shoulder, steeling myself. I am Darcy Fucking Lewis. I had survived New Mexico and London. I was the girl who picked up her life and followed what I thought was love, to Kansas, when he accepted a job at weather monitoring station that chased storms. I am a strong, badass woman. I will not cry. I will greet my friend with the excitement that this occasion deserves.

The second Jane came into my line of sight; my determination went into total system failure. I lowered my head and focused all my self control on not letting the tears fall. Awesome, I don’t see my friend for 6 months and when I do I am snotting all over myself. Real fucking attractive.

“Darcy!" Jane hollered, the exclamation echoing off the walls. Her advance was quick at first, a jog. But it slowed as she approached. This was not my norm. Again, I’m Darcy Fucking Lewis. I am loud, and proud and all up in your face. Except for now, when I’m not.

“Darce?” it was a question this time but I just couldn’t make myself lift my head to look at her, even when she placed her hand on my shoulder.

It didn’t make me lift my head, but it did break the small hold I had on my tears. Bring on the snotting. Perfect.

My shoulders started to shake with the effort of keeping the sobs in.

Jane gasped and wrapped her arms around me. “Darcy? Darce? What’s wrong? Please tell me…” she trailed off gesturing wildly with her right arm.

I hadn’t thought about the security guards. A wrinkled woman waltzing into the tower late at night carrying a large duffle…Yeah, that would raise alarms anywhere.

“Ms Foster,” Jarvis started, “Ms Lewis’s vitals indicate extreme stress. I have taken the liberty of informing Dr Banner of her current status and he is on his way down.”

Fuck. I had forgotten about Jarvis.

I started to shake my head from where it was smooshed up against Jane’s neck. “Thank you Jarvis.”

I could see that resistance was futile so I pulled myself as close to Jane as I could and continued to sob quietly. She was running her hands up and down my back whispering sweet things, calming things, but I could feel the tension in her tiny body, half from supporting my weight, the other from the situation.

I don’t know how long it took for the elevator to ping again, signalling the unwanted guest to my pity party. Honestly it felt like hours. The car trip, lack of sleep and coffee that had most certainly replaced my blood at this point, started to cause my knees to slowly shake. By the time Bruce made his way across the lobby to us, Jane was completely supporting me.

God, I had missed her. Just the relief of her unquestioning acceptance loosened my chest enough so I could take a deep breath.

“Hunny?” Jane wiggled a little. I tried to prepare my knees to support my weight. Jane was trying to take a step back. “Darcy, can you please just look at me? You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, but I would like to look at you at least?” it was still phrased as a question.

I nodded against her neck and made a noise.

She slowly released me, taking a step back, but leaving a hand on my shoulder. Bruce still hadn’t made a noise. He was just standing there patiently. He honestly deserved an award for his bedside manner. I briefly wondered what the Hulk’s pillow talk was like. I’d have to store that question away for another day. Now was so not the time.

I wiped my nose on the sleeve of my shirt attractively and just stood there. I honestly did not know what I was supposed to do next.

“Darcy, are you in pain? Are you physically injured?” Bruce asked in a soothing voice.

“nnnhum” I made another noise, while shaking my head no.

Jane moved her hand from my shoulder to my cheek and applied a little pressure, encouraging me to life my head. I heard my bag scrape across the tile as Bruce picked it up. I must have dropped it, I hadn’t even realized.

Here goes nothing. A Hulk and a scientist were more then I wanted for an audience but right at the moment it was what I had. I am a big girl, I can do this.

I lifted my head and managed a scary half smile, half grimace.

Bruce and Jane both took in my red swollen eyes and my snotty nose, but I knew the exact moment both zeroed in on the problem. Neither of them said anything. Jane gasped again and I saw Bruce tense all over, his eyes clouding, but staying their normal brown. I looked them both in the eye though. I may be heart broken over what had happened, but I was not ashamed. I was going to own it. Ian had hit me. I was not going to make some lame excuse about tripping or getting hit in the face by a rogue Frisbee or something.

“Is that your only injury Darcy?”

I nodded and had to clear my throat before I could respond. “Can we please go upstairs to my room now? I don’t want to see anyone else.”

Jane wrapped her arm around my shoulders and nodded. I was pretty sure she didn’t know what to say.

“Thanks guys.”

“Come on Darcy, let’s get you settled. Then I would like to take a look at your lip.” Bruce led the way to the elevator, with us tagging slowly behind.

“Welcome back Ms Lewis.” Jarvis greeted as they all stepped into the lift, how the AI sounded empathetic I would never know.

“I’ve told you J, call me Darcy”

“As you wish Darcy.”

“Home please, Thanks J.” My shoulders relaxed as the doors closed with a thud.


	2. Home

I wiped the condensation off the mirror with my palm and leaned forward to examine my lip up close and personal. The split ran from just inside my lip, through the front, stopping where my lip met skin. A dark bruise wrapped down and around the split and it was swollen and red. I felt like I had a rock tucked under my lip. It wasn’t sticking out nearly as far as I had expected though, it just felt so much bigger from the inside. At least that was something. Silver linings.

After the elevator had arrived on Jane and Thor’s floor, where I usually stayed in one of the two unused apartments, Jane had asked if I was hungry. I hadn’t wanted food, but I really, really wanted a shower.

I dressed in sweats and a tank top out of my bag, rolled my hair into a bun on the top of my head and exited the bathroom into the bedroom. I knew there were a few party dresses in the closet that Tony had bought for me when party attendance was mandatory, but there would be little else.

Flopping on the bed I stared at my folded hands in my lap. Maybe I had been caught up in the situation and hadn’t thought things through when I left Kansas. I would have liked a few more clothes from my closet, my books and a couple of my favourite Avengers themed knick knacks that I’d collected over the years. I was really going to miss my Avengers to-go mug where, instead of purple, Clint’s uniform was pink. As was Natasha’s hair and the Hulk’s pants. I loved the knock off merchandise that was sold by vendors on the streets here in New York. They all hated it, and that made it even better.

“Darcy, are you okay? Do you need my help?” Jane knocked quietly on the door.

“Nope, I’m good. I’m coming.” I replied, smacking my hands to my thighs and rising from the bed. My head throbbed as I rose from sitting to standing. There is nothing like a good after-cry hangover.

Jane was in the kitchen when I opened the door, filling a glass at the sink. Bruce was seated on the coffee table with the in-room first aid kit open next to him. I had tried to tell him before my shower that it was completely unnecessary, but he had insisted. Jarvis had informed him of my “extreme stress” so he had insisted on checking my blood pressure as well. Sigh.

“Drink this.” Jane handed me the large glass of water. I took it and drained half before I took a seat in front of Bruce on the couch.

I took a moment to wish I had put on a bra, instead of relying on the built in one in the tank I was wearing. But this was Bruce, he would never check out my ample boobage, even if he wasn’t with Natasha. He only had eyes for her.

“Lets see Darcy, lean closer” Bruce gestured forward and I slid to the edge of the cushion.

Embarrassment suddenly flared up inside me, hot and heavy. I immediately looked down, unable to control the reaction.

Bruce lifted my chin and looked me straight in the eye. “Never think for a second that you have anything to be ashamed of. No matter what happened in your relationship, there is no reason for him to resort to slapping you. You did the right thing by leaving. We have all missed you, and we are happy you are here. The reason does not matter, only the fact that you are here matters.” Bruce gave me a rare, half smile and pulled on my chin, my mouth opening with a pop.

I nodded, feeling better, and let him look at my lip. This was crazy. It was a boo-boo. It would heal up in a few days and I would be fine. I did not need one of the brightest minds of my time using up his time to check me out.

 

I started to pull away, to insist that I was fine. Bruce and Jane needed to go back to solving the mysteries of the world. Well maybe not Jane, I needed another hug. After that though, defiantly.

“You matter Darcy. Let us take care of you for a change. You have spent more then enough time taking care of us” Bruce muttered under his breath like he knew exactly what I was thinking. He nodded as he examined my lip. “The split is shallow, you don’t need stitches and the bruise will heal in a few days.” He pulled one of those squishy blue ice packs from the kit and snapped the doamahicky inside. Handing it to me, “hold this on the swollen area for 10 minutes, repeat again tomorrow a few time and the swelling should be gone in no time.”

Only in first aid kits for super heroes would there be blood pressure cuffs and stethoscopes. Bruce fastened the Velcro strips around my arm and started to inflate the band, listening intently through the stethoscope. I sat patiently, like a good little girl. The grief I would catch from Jane if I twitched or complained would be endless.

“A little high, but that is normal given the circumstances. I will check in with you sometime tomorrow.” Bruce folded everything back into the kit. He handed me a handful of Q-tips and some topical cream. “Apply this, very lightly, to your lip before you go to bed tonight. It will help make sure there is no scarring.”

I went to pull the ice pack from my face to respond, but he gently pushed it back into place.

If this scarred my face I would defiantly let Clint snipe Ian’s ass. 

“Jarvis, can you please have the staff restock the first aid kit from this room with a small ice pack, sterile applicators and antibiotic ointment.” Bruce asked politely. “Darcy, I’m going to get going. I’ll give you ladies some space. I’m here if you need anything at all. I’ll check back with you tomorrow.” He started towards the door. “And just to give you warning, Clint was with me in the communal kitchen, he heard Jarvis announce your arrival. I convinced him to wait to come and see you. If I were a betting man though, I would put money on him being in one of the vents in the ceiling over this room right now. Or he could simply be waiting outside your door now, waiting for me to leave.” Bruce nodded in our direction and opened the door to leave.

The later proved to be true and I could just make out Clint’s form leaning on the wall across the hall from my door.

I love Clint. I really, really do, but I was so not in the mood for anyone else tonight.

Jane looked between me and the door, trying to figure out what I wanted. Whether or not she should try and send him away. But it was too late; Clint waltzed right by Bruce and into my entryway. Awesome.

Jane had refilled my glass and came to sit next to me. I kept the ice pack to my face, using it as a shield now, hoping to delay the inevitable. Why did I have to be all brave and full of badassery. I should just tell him I fell or something, spare myself. I was not going to hide though. I wanted to own what had happened and deal with whatever emotional upheaval might rear its ugly head in the near future.

Jane was silent next to me, rubbing her hand up and down my lower back. I knew she would be shooting hateful daggers at Clint with her eyes.

“Hiya Darce” Clint greeted from about 10 feet away, stopping and tilting his head to the side. “Jarvis said…” he petered off and narrowed his eyes. “Ian not come?” it was half question, half statement. He did not like Ian.

Maybe I should start trusting the instincts of the spies I know, trained in reading people. I had always thought I was a good judge of character. Obviously I was mistaken. Something else to file away for later.

I stood and dropped the ice pack on the table, moving around the couch to greet Clint properly. I could manage a Darcy hug, but there was no way I could manage the Darcy enthusiasm.

He hugged me back tight, squeezing my bones, making my back crack. I let out a grunt and he released me, stepping back but not letting me out of his arms.

I looked him right in the eye, “No, Ian did not come.”

His arms stiffened and his eyes narrowed again. “Fucking little prick. Little prissy asshole. I never liked that guy Darce. Something always seemed off about him. He was never good enough for you. And then when you left with him…” Clint seemed angry, not only at Ian, but at me.

“I’m sorry I left Clint.” He had no idea how true that statement was.

“So what’s going on? Am I sniping him or what?”

“I don’t think this warrants an arrow through the heart, even if it does sound appealing.” I squeezed his yummy biceps with my hands and he dropped his arms to his sides. Clint’s biceps could make anyone feel better.

“We can talk about all that later,” Jane interrupted our stare off. “Darcy has driven a long way and needs to sleep. Come back tomorrow.” She pushed on his shoulder, directing him back towards the door.

“Come and make me breakfast?” I asked after him. Clint made the best scrambles.

“Sure Darcy, whatever you want. Let J know when you are up in the morning and I will come up and start breakfast.” He left quietly, closing the door behind him.

A thought occurred to me, “I should have asked him to keep quiet…” shit.

He may not be running off into the night to snipe Ian right now, but that didn’t mean whoever else was in the tower would not take the same liberty. If Natasha decided to take the retaliation upon herself, Ian would never even hear it coming.

“Should I ask Jarvis to tell Clint to come back?”

“It wont matter,” Jane muttered. “Everyone will already know.”

Well wasn’t that the truth.

“Bed!” I exclaimed. I suddenly wanted it so badly I could barely stand. My head was throbbing in time with my heartbeat.

Jane followed me into my room, turning out the lights as she went and grabbing my water to set on the night stand. I knew Thor was off planet, so she would just stay with me tonight.

We crawled into bed, Jane pulling me into her arms after she applied the ointment to my lip.

“Don’t worry about anything. We will figure it all out in the morning” She sighed.

I knew that was probably true, so I closed my eyes and was asleep before I could form another thought.

***  
When I woke up in the morning (afternoon?), Jane wasn’t in bed anymore. I couldn’t see the sun through the blackout blinds on the windows. I rolled into my stomach and roughly pulled the elastic from my hair. It had been digging into my scalp and was the reason I was awake. I threw it on the floor and combed my fingers through my still damp hair. It could just stay on the floor and think about what it had done.

Huffing loudly I flipped back over and rubbed my eyes, grabbing my glasses off the side table and shoving them on.

“Jarvis, what time is it?” I asked the ceiling.

“Good Morning Darcy. The time is 11:27 am,” the British voice informed her. “Ms Foster wanted me to pass on a message once you awoke, she didn’t know how long you would sleep and Mr Odinson is supposed to arrive from Asguard today. She wanted to get some things done down in her lab before he arrived. She wanted to let you know that if you need her for anything, and she stressed anything, not to hesitate to either come down to the labs or let myself know and I will notify her.”

“Thanks J.” After a moments silence I remembered my promise to Clint. “Can you please let Barton know that I am up and he can come and cook for me, pretty please?”

“Of course, Mr Barton is in the range with Ms Romanov and wanted me to let you know she would be attending breakfast as well”

Well Fuck, “Thanks J.”

I didn’t know how much time I would have so I got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. After completing my business, I looked in the mirror. My lip was no better, no worse. I decided against make up, I couldn’t wear my red lipstick anyways and it was the best part of doing my makeup every morning. I brushed my hair out and applied pit stick and some vanilla body spray, brushed my teeth and rinsed with mouthwash. I hadn’t been thinking and hissed as the fluid burned the cut on my lip. At least it wouldn’t get infected.

I changed into jeans, another black tank and a long button up. I heard Clint and Natasha in the kitchen and decided this was as presentable as I was going to get.

Clint was bent over, face in the fridge, when I came out of my bedroom. I took a minute to check out his amazing ass and then proceeded into the kitchen.

Natasha was seated at one of the bar height swivel stools and turned to smile at me. She didn’t react to my face at all other then to extend an arm to me and pull me into a side hug.

‘Don’t worry Darcy. Karma has a funny way of sorting stuff like this out. He will get what is coming to him.” Natasha didn’t look at me as she spoke quietly, just said her peace and took a sip of her coffee. An involuntary shiver ran up my spine at the way she spoke the words. I suddenly had a feeling that she knew karma was real and that maybe, just maybe, she herself, was karma.

Breakfast was good. Just the way I like it. We had moved into the living room, the daily news on quietly in the background, as we caught up on what was new in each others lives in the last 6 months.

I had momentarily forgot about my problems, laughing on the couch as Nat described how she had had to untangle Clint from a booby trap in the vents over Tony’s Lab. Clint had been stealing all of his good snacks and Tony was sick of it. Apparently Jarvis didn’t think electrifying the duct work around his lab was a smart idea so Tony had devised a snare system. Hawkeye had been outsmarted by Iron Man.

I took another sip of the life bringing coffee Clint had just finished making when he suddenly turned to me with serious eyes.

“What was it about him that made you leave?” he asked, completely serious. Natasha’s eyes widened but she turned to me too, waiting for an answer.

Choking down my mouthful of coffee, I tried to take a deep breath and think of the best way to explain myself. I hadn’t left without saying goodbye. There had been a lot of lead up to my eventual departure. But I don’t think any of them thought that I would actually leave in the end.

“After London, Jane was totally wrapped up in the Bifrost and Thor. I spent all of my time in the labs wrangling the science bros or with Ian.” Our relationship had became serious very quickly after London, all wrapped up in the adrenaline of an alien near death experience and the whole saving the world thing.

About a month after the Dark Elves were banished, Jane was invited, along with Thor, Ian and myself to move to New York. Stark would fund her research and I would be kept on the Shield payroll acting as a middle man between them and Jane’s manic behaviour.

“When we were offered the jobs here, were offered a place here at the tower, I was shocked.” I was trying to think of how to put my feelings into words. “I mean, there is nothing special about me,” I held up my hand as Clint started to protest. “Okay, yes I am awesome. But I mean special as in you guys special.”

I fidgeted on the couch cushion, pulling my legs under me. “I felt special with Ian though. He made me feel special in a way I guess I needed at the time.” They both nodded. “When he was offered that job at the same time we were all offered a place here, we both decided it was a sign. He could follow his new dream, we could start fresh and I could try and figure out who I was outside of the Avengers and world ending catastrophes.”

The job Ian had been offered was with a weather observation group funded by the government. Their main objective was to increase warning times to help people get to safety before a big storm. Ian helped process the data that was received from not only their own storm chasers but from all around the world. They wanted to give people more time to protect themselves from tornadoes, floods and hurricanes.

“You guys are all amazing, and I love you each dearly. But I needed to go with him, to at least see if I could make a new life. If there was something out there for me besides the Avengers and Shield, if I could have a life of my own.”

We had planned and saved for 6 moths, waiting for Ian’s work visa to come through so we could go.

“I want to say that I am one of those people who believes that everything you go through in your life helps you become the person you are meant to be. Honestly though, I would really, really like to take back the last 18 months of my life. Things were starting to head south with Ian before we even left for Kansas. I tried really hard to convince myself it was still what I wanted. It was just nerves about starting a whole new life with someone, away from the only family I had ever had. I thought that once we got settled into our new place, he started his job, we got a cat or some shit, that everything would be okay. That everything would sort itself out.” I was looking down at my hands at this point.

Clint and Nat hadn’t said anything, and were both sitting motionless waiting for me to continue. No one could sit still like an assassin.

“I mean, things were okay after we got there…” I started to struggle again, but not with my words. I did not want to cry.

“A few months ago I came home early and Ian was sitting on the couch with a girl. Like, sitting in each others laps, sitting on the couch. I could see by the way he was looking at her that if something wasn’t happening yet, he wanted it too. He jumped up and introduced us, we did that whole awkward meet thing and then she left. We barely spoke for the rest of the evening. I think that was when I knew it was over.” I hiccupped and swirled my coffee around in my cup. “We started fighting over the smallest things. I didn’t trust him and he wanted to be anywhere but at home with me. I was stupid though, convinced myself that it would pass. We had started this whole life together; there was no way he was going to throw it away in less then a year for some skank…” I trailed off, feeling mean. She wasn’t a skank. Her name was Evelyn and she was a meteorologist at the same place Ian worked at.

I had actually kinda liked her.

“A couple days ago was when it really fell apart,” I had tears in my eyes now. Knowing how your life cratered is totally different then actually having to explain it to others.

My God! I had become that girl! The ones that follows some random guy across the country, only to get kicked to the curb when a prettier model comes along.

She probably liked his accent. I know I had.

“He came home late, so late that I was already in bed and asleep. I heard him come to bed, but I didn’t let him know he had woken me. The next evening when he got home I asked him where he had been…” that was where I was going to stop.

I didn’t want to talk about what he had told me. I didn’t want to repeat the lies that he had been trying to feed me. He had told me that he had gone out for drinks with a bunch of people from work and had volunteered to be the designated driver. I had asked him if he had driven Evelyn home, had she been out drinking with him. He immediately started to tell me that nothing had happened, that he had just driven her home because he wanted to make sure that she got home safely.

I may have taken it a little far when I asked him if he had at least worn a condom.

“Things went downhill quickly. I told him that he made me sick. Ian eventually stopped denying anything had happened, just told me that it didn’t mean anything. How freaking cliché is that?” I laughed quietly. The words coming out of my mouth before I was even aware I had spoken. My tears had taken the same liberties and had started falling down my cheeks too.

“Long story short, I called him a fucking douche. He tried to touch me and I told him he made me sick. That I was sorry I had ever come here with him, that I was sorry I had given up my life and my family for him. That I was glad he got to live his dream, get his cake and eat it too, while I wallowed in misery” fucking tears, my breathing hitched and I kept talking.

“He tried to hug me again, pushing himself against me. I told him to get off me, to never touch me, come near me again. I was sick of looking at his stupid face. I pushed him back and told him to leave, to go to his whore… That’s when he…” I rubbed my finger along my lower lip and took the tissue that Nat offered me.

Nat moved closer, wrapping an arm around me, letting me cry. I thought I had gotten this out of my system last night when I saw Jane.

“So now I’m here,” I gestured around myself. “All I have is a duffle of clothes. I didn’t bring any of my things. I have some money saved; I might be able to find a place close by. I want to see if Shield will give me the job they offered me a year ago…start there I guess” I muttered.

Natasha started shaking her head and exchanged my snotty tissue for a clean one. “You will stay here” she said, squeezing me again.

“Yeah, no more of this moving or leaving crap, got it?” Clint put his hand on my thigh. “Tony won’t make you leave; he has mentioned more then once that he misses your baking. And you know no one is as good at wrangling them as you are. Even Nat struggles to get Bruce out of the lab sometimes” Clint smiled and I nodded.

“We have missed you. Stay?” Natasha asked, searching my eyes.

I just nodded.

“Besides, we have a few more people who need whipping into shape. Steve’s buddy Bucky is here. And that new guy, Sam, I know he could use some tough love.”

“Kay” I sniffed pathetically. I loved the way they made me feel loved, the way they made me feel needed. They saved the world on a regular basis, did the things normal people couldn’t to help keep the planet safe. But who looked after them when they were done with the saving? “I’ll stay.”

“Welcome home Darcy” Jarvis spoke from all around them.

I sighed and leaned into Natasha.

Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the back story is okay. If you are finding there are holes, let me know and I will patch them. Thanks for reading.


	3. Sergeant Barnes and the Ice Cream.

About 5 minutes after I spilled my guts the alarm went off throughout the tower, signalling the Avengers to assemble. I hugged Clint and Natasha as the jogged out my door

I took a second to send out a quick prayer to whatever god was listening to take care of my babies.

As I stood in my apartment, listening to the foghorn like alarm, the panic started to rise. It came up from my feet, working its way into my heart and into my head. What the hell was a supposed to do now?

Almost all of my people had gone out to fight the big nasties and Jane was sciencing. I wanted to make sure she had her space, that my presence in the tower was as small of a hindrance as possible.

I continued to stand in the entryway stupidly, even after the alarm had stopped.

Not only was I the girl that got cheated on and smacked, but now I was the girl who didn’t know how to be by herself.

That realization came as a huge shock. I had always loved being by myself, I loved my alone time. I had always cherished it, being comfortable in my own skin was something I had always been, and prided myself on being.

A shrill ringing sounded from my bedroom. I had turned my cell phone on when I had come out for breakfast to check my missed calls.

I had 34.

And 5 new voicemail messages.

Now was as good of a time as any to check them. 

10 of the missed calls and 2 of the messages had been from Jane. She had stopped trying to call when I started to check in via text during my drive. I let her know where I was every time I stopped so she wouldn’t worry.

22 of the missed calls and 1 message were from Ian. His voicemail message was just a pathetic whine for me to call him and let him know where I was and that I was safe.

I glared at my phone, yeah; I would get right on that. Besides, he knew EXACTLY where I would be. I hoped it instilled the proper amount of fear in him.

The last 2 calls that's I'd missed and the last message were from my boss Cheryl. She was a stern but kind woman, who I worked under as a secretary at the mayor’s office in town.

I had already missed a full day of work and had not shown up this morning without as much as a call to say why.

Wow, how could I forget that I had a job!

Well shit!

I listened to Cheryl’s message; it was full of nothing but concern.

This was totally out of character for me. I had not taken as much as a sick day since I had gotten the job. Guilt flooded my system.

I pulled my phone from the charger and carried it to the living room. I would return Cheryl’s call and quit my job (with no notice, fuck), just as soon as I had some ice cream. I really needed some ice cream.

Thankfully Jarvis knew all my favourites and my freezer was fully stocked. Jane would have let him know I was coming and he would have ordered everything and had my fridge filled before I arrived.

“I love you J, you know that right?” I spoke around the spoon in my mouth as I pulled a jar of raspberry lime sorbet out of my freezer.

“I have a special place for you in my coding as well Darcy” Jarvis responded.

“I know J, and it means a lot.” There were no raspberries in my fridge and I needed them on top of my ice cream.

I dished most of the small jar into a bowl and made my way out of my room. I headed into the elevator and up to the common room with the spoon still on my mouth and my phone in my other hand.

Everyone was gone, either Avenging or sciencing on there own floors so I wouldn’t have to face anyone quiet yet. I knew for sure there would be fruit in one of the common room fridges. Both Bruce and Tony had mad smoothy fetishes and because it was Tony Stark it was all quality organic fruit.

I waltzed into the common room humming around the spoon and shaking my hips to the song in my head. The TV was still on, an old movie I didn’t recognize was flashing across the screen.

I set my ice cream and phone on the counter and continued to shake my ample booty as I searched the fridge for my prize. I found what I was looking for and turned, switched the song that was running through my head on, on my phone. I started to sing along as I dumped half a pint of raspberries on top of the sorbet with a satisfied smile.

“I love that song,” a voice came from the couch in from of the television.

A very lady like screech came out of my mouth. If I had known someone was in here I wouldn’t have been shaking my ass and singing like a tool bag. I wouldn't have come here at all. 

A figure rose up off the couch laughing. “Sorry, I really didn’t mean to scare you. Please continue” a metal arm gestured towards me.

Holy Shit. That is the Winter Soldier.

I had just been shaking my ass and attracting wildlife up to the tower with my atrocious singing voice in from of the freaking Winter Soldier.

I felt color flood my face as I tried to come up with a response. He stood on the other side of the huge breakfast bar smiling at me, a wicked glint in his eyes. I continued to stand there staring at him, spoon in hand.

“Are you okay?” the concern was false; he was enjoying this way too much.

I cleared my throat, “um… yeah. I’m good. I didn’t know anyone was here.”

“I kinda figured that much doll. I’m James Barnes, everyone calls me Bucky,” he extended his right hand across the counter for me to shake. I took it dumbly and nodded. 

Of course I knew who he was. I hadn’t seen any good photos of him since Steve and Sam had tracked him down after old Shield/Hydra exploded. I'd only seen pictures of him in history books and at the exhibit at the Smithsonian. 

I stood there just holding his hand across the bar, my brain completely shorting out.

He was possibly the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life. His black t-shirt tight across his chest and biceps (who did his and Steve’s shopping?), the sun from the floor to ceiling windows was glinting off his metal arm. His hair was back in a small bun and right now his blue eyes were trained on me, one eyebrow raised. I was sure he was assessing my mental competence and with good reason.

“Darcy," I finally managed to say. I had to force myself to let go of his hand but I couldn’t look down away from his eyes.

They were assessing me, I could feel it, the way he saw through me without even trying.

Damn assassins.

His eyes went to my lip, staring at it. Bucky's eyebrows fell from up high on his forehead to down low over his eyes.

That broke the spell and I looked down into my bowl.

The tension was tangible. I didn’t know what he was thinking and I didn’t want to look up into his eyes again to try and figure it out. What the hell was with these boys from the 40’s? They get experimented on and frozen in ice for decades and then come out looking like that. I would swear that this tower held some of the most beautiful people in the world. It was absolutely ridiculous.

“That looks really good, ya got anymore?” the Brooklyn accent made my stomach knot up as he pointed to my bowl. 

“Yeah, sure. The ice cream is in my room, I have to make a quick call. How about I do that while I run and grab some and then we can sit out here and have it?” I managed to cough out, looking back up at him briefly.

“Sure, Darcy, that sounds great” Bucky responded, giving me an encouraging smile. It felt like the kind of smile you would use on a wounded animal you were scared was going to bolt.

Nodding again, I fled down the hall with my phone, I could still feel the heat in my cheeks. I would love, just once, to make a normal first impression when I met someone. I mean, I had tased Thor the first time I met him. He was freaking me out.

I waited for the elevator while I dialled Cheryl at work. I hoped the conversation would be over by the time I got back up here. You never lost cell service in one of Stark’s buildings, even when you were in the elevators.

****

The conversation went better then I deserved. I told Cheryl that Ian and I had broken up, that he had been a little rough and that I had gotten out of there. I was not in a habit of lying to people, and I certainly wasn’t going to lie to someone who I left high and dry.

She didn’t sound happy that I wasn’t coming back but she was very understanding. She shared a story about her daughter, who hadn’t left an abusive relationship in time. She had ended up in the hospital and Cheryl was just glad that I hadn’t stuck around. She said some very unkind things about Ian that I hoped, one day, he would have a chance to hear himself. Cheryl even told me she would provide a reference letter for me if need be. The gesture brought a tear to me eye.

I had grabbed the ice cream and was on my way back to the common floor. If I had been my normal, confident self I would have said something dumb and flirtatious to Bucky. I would have stuck my foot in my mouth, put myself out there immediately, like I did with everyone. Not today though. Today I was nervous as hell. Something about the way his eyes had dressed me down, mixed with the general unease I was already feeling, made me feel like I was a walking back to a slaughter.

Considering he was an assassin, I supposed I could be. I had the ice cream though; I hoped that afforded me a certain amount of leeway in his eyes.

Bucky smiled as I came back into the room, holding up the ice cream like a trophy. I had grabbed what was left of the first jar, as well as an entire second one. I had made Steve food before; I knew how much these super soldier types could eat.

“Do you want raspberries on yours too?” I asked as I dished it all into a bowl.

God he’s beautiful.

“Yeah, load ‘er up,” he smiled as I spilled a pint into his bowl. 

I’d seen pictures of him, blurry ones, on the cover of tabloids and newspapers. They all speculated on Captain America’s new friend in black. A few had even speculated that the Winter Soldier was James Barnes, but nothing had been confirmed. It didn’t seem outside the realm of possibility though, i.e. Captain America.

Jane had told me about him after he came home with Steve. He had spent 6 months “getting right” as Steve had called it. Stark had put him up somewhere and made regular trips to wherever they were staying with Bruce, helping him with whatever had been done to his head.

Jane had told me some of it, the things Bruce had been willing to share. It was horrible and my heart had hurt for him then. Seeing him now though, his kind smile, his ability to laugh at my absolute absurdity, it all made me downright furious.

He was one of mine now too, like the other Avengers. He had been through so much, had so much done too him. They all had. That's what made them special. Despite being shown the absolute worst in this world, they still tried to protect it.

I watched him as he dug into his ice cream with childlike abandon. I was sure he had done horrible, unspeakable things while he was under Hydra’s control. But I also knew that he wouldn’t have done them if he’d had anyway to help it. I would take care of him, the same way I used to take care of the others. The way I planned to take care of them again, if they would let me.

“Can I help you with somethin' doll?” Bucky asked me at the same moment I realized I was staring at him. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the TV or his bowl since I had handed him the frozen treat, I don’t know how he knew….oh yeah, master spy/assassin. Sigh.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. Just got lost in my thoughts I guess,” I answered honestly.

“Don’t worry, I understand that better then most” he polished off his bowl, while mine sat melting in front of me.

“I bet,” I paused. “I’m sorry."

"You already said that. Ya don't need to be sorry."

I was being unclear, and he couldn't read my mine. I hoped. "For what happened to you, I mean.”

He turned on the swivel stool and gave me a considering look. Something about his gaze made my cheeks blush red again.

“I’ve got a lot of people helpin’ me out. I don’t know what I woulda' done.” He smiled quietly, almost to himself. A grateful smile. You didn't see those that often. 

My heart skipped a beat in my chest.

Bucky looked back at the TV but continued to talk. “I don’t know who did that to your face darlin’ but I recognize the results of a back hand when I see one. They welcomed me without question, and they all seem to very attached to you, especially Steve. So you are okay in my book too. I’m not okay with men beatin’ on women. I don’t think the old Bucky was either. Takin’ your frustrations out on a ladies face, especially one as pretty as you, that’s not right. You want me to have a chat with this guy, you just let me know. I guarantee he will be lookin’ over his shoulder for the rest of his life.”

My jaw dropped.

That was possibly the sexiest thing I had ever heard in my life

And the Winter Soldier thought I was pretty, without make up on.

This pleased me way more then it should and for reasons I was not ready to examine too closely.

“Um, wow. Thank you. Can I get back to you on the threatening?”

“Sure Darcy, whatever ya want,” Bucky smirked back at me. Probably due to the complete breathless quality of my voice.

He went and grabbed the remote. Surfing the news channels, searching for anything that let us know where our friends were. I had done the same thing more times then I could count.

I silently sent out another little prayer.

“Why…” I had to clear my throat. “Why aren’t you out with them?” I asked, as gently as I could. I wasn’t sure how to phrase it so I chose to control my tone, hoping to soften the delivery of the actual question.

“They are still cautious when I go out on missions. I don’t go with em’ if it has anything to do with Hydra. I want too…” he trailed off. “But they are worried there are triggers, things they don’t know about. Things that can turn me back into him.” I knew he meant the Winter Soldier. Bruce had the Hulk like Bucky had the soldier. “I couldn’t live with myself if I did something to one of them. I am willing to put my revenge on the back burner until I’m sure I am me, all the way through. What everyone here has done for me, it’s worth it.”

That made total sense. My respect and admiration for Sergeant Barnes was growing by the second. I could see why Steve risked so much to save him.

“Besides, if I had gone I wouldn’t have met you. Sitting and having ice cream with you doll, is more then I thought I would ever have again.” He winked and smiled.

My god, that accent.

Yup, I’m in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised by my tags, Bucky Barnes.


	4. Bucky & Steve

After my heartfelt with Bucky, I had retreated back into my room. I had to try and figure out what to do about a job, and a place to live. Not to mention all of my stuff back in Kansas with Assface.

I unpacked my few possessions and did a small load of laundry. I needed all the clothes I had. I had just settled in, to watch a movie in my room after deleting all my messages and staring at my phone for an hour, ultimately deciding not to call Ian back.

The Stark Pad I had received as a gift from Tony last Christmas, starting alerting to an incoming video chat from its place on the coffee table. I assumed it was Jane and answered the call.

I was wrong, it was Iron Man. Well, Tony Stark, peering at me from within the Iron Man helmet.

”Or resident Russian spy says you are thinking of moving out?” he asked loudly, no preamble at all.

“Um, I just wasn’t sure…” caught totally off guard.

“She also talked about you needing a job. I hope you didn’t have your heart set on being on Shields payroll, even if they could afford to pay you in their current state, they couldn’t afford to pay a woman of your impeccable sassiness what you are worth. “His face took up the whole screen and he was practically yelling. “I only have a second, so here’s the deal kid, you will absolutely stay in the tower. It’s not like any of these free loading losers pay rent.” I watched a balled up piece of paper hit Tony in the face. “

“Had to aim for the only skin you could see, huh Barton” Tony leered past the screen “Suit too much for you?” he started laughing, until what looked like a shoe, hit him in the face. “Not cool Bird Boy, not cool.”

Tony turned his attention back to me, rubbing his left cheekbone. “Pepper has been on me to hire someone to handle our online accounts, Facebook, Twitter, that kind of thing. Whatever else floats your boat. And of course, handle us geniuses when we forget how to people. I know what Shield offered you; I had J hack into your email when Coulson and Fury offered you a job last time. I will pay you twice that, and you will stay in the tower yeah?” It wasn’t really phrased as a question; Tony knew I would say yes.

“Um…” I paused, a lot was happening very quickly.

“Great. I look forward to your future Instagram photos, and will try not to make your job as our wrangler too difficult…No, I take that back. We both know that’s not a promise I even remotely intend to keep.”

I heard Natasha yell something at Tony from off camera. My heart started to beat hard in my chest. I didn’t care about the job or where I was living, I cared about what they were about to drop themselves into.

“Are you guys okay?” I swallowed down the lump in my throat.

“Don’t worry Darce,” Steve’s face came onto the screen after he pushed Tony out of the way. “We are just landing, very covert, no expected hostiles. We are just doing recon and surveillance right now. We are all safe.”

My heart slowed to a more comfortable rhythm.

“Please be safe.” I whispered. Fear was eating me up on the inside. I was too raw, too vulnerable. It always killed me when they left because it was so unpredictable and there was no way to know when, or if they would all come back.

“I will do everything in my power to get us all back safe, I promise okay” Steve replied, staring into my eyes as much as he could through a video message.

Were his eyes always that blue?

“We will be home as soon as we can” Clint pushed his way into the screen with Cap, ending the moment. “I knew you would miss me.”

“Just come back in one piece, alright” I rolled my eyes and the call ended.

I sat on my couch, feeling empty.

“Ms Darcy,” Jarvis startled me out of my mope. “Sir has instructed me to pass along the number of a moving company that will handle the requisition of your personal items from your vacated home in Kansas. They will pack and ship them here. Sir would also like me to let you know that if you suspect any issues in the retrieval of your personal items from your former romantic partner, he will happily handle that matter personally when he returns”

“Wow, okay Jarvis. Thank you so much.” All of my personal problems were just handled by Tony Stark. Part of me wanted to be annoyed with the controlling gestures, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to be. It was nice to be cared for.

“You are most welcome Darcy. The number for the moving company should be in your email inbox now. Feel free to ask for anything else you feel you may need. I have been instructed to help you with anything and everything. As if Sir thinks I need instruction in such matters.” Jarvis snarked for my benefit.

“Stay awesome J” I smiled up at the ceiling.

“As if I would ever consider the contrary,” the AI sniffed. If possible, I could hear the smile in his voice.

I called and set up everything with the moving company. I emailed a list of everything I could remember I had at the apartment along with written permission for the movers to enter the apartment with the help of the landlord, should Ian not be home. It was my name on the lease, so he could do nothing to stop it.

It was late afternoon by the time I got everything done including folding and putting away my meagre wardrobe.

Jane would need to eat now. I had left her to her own devices long enough. I didn’t know if Thor would be coming to the tower anymore, if he was still off world, or if he had gone on the mission with the others. Either way I should go down to the labs and check on her, feed and water her. If I was lucky, maybe she would want to come and watch a movie.

The elevator ride down to the labs was a long one. Going from the 49th floor to one of the basement floors took a long time, even for a souped up Stark elevator.

My thoughts drifted back to Steve’s eyes, I was sure they hadn’t always looked at me like that. His voice hadn’t always sounded like that when we had talked. I had only hung out with him, maybe 10 times. We went for coffee once, or he had escorted me to the coffee place down the street when I had been visiting Jane.

It was Captain freaking America; he was the pinnacle of gentlemen. I was probably just imagining everything.

My thoughts landed next on Bucky. I had only met him the once, sitting and having ice cream earlier in the day. But I heard a lot about him from Jane during his recuperation and since he had moved into the tower. I don’t know what I had expected, but the good ol’ Brooklyn boy I had chatted with earlier was not it. I think I expected a deep, tortured soul, and he probably was. I was taken aback by him earlier, he seemed so positive, so adjusted. Bucky was so nice, and so, so, so hot.

All of the Avengers were. I even carried a little bit of lady wood for Natasha, not that I swung that way.

Coming out of the darkness like they all had, and continuing to do good in the world, filled me with admiration. I was lucky to have them as family, after growing up with nothing. I couldn’t have asked for more.

I arrived at the R&D floor and looked around for Jane. I finally saw her staring at a grease board, coffee spilled down her shirt and a post-it stuck to her elbow. Yup, definitely time for a break.

***  
It had been a week since everyone had left on the mission. I had received 3 texts from Clint, short and sweet, telling me they were all okay and did not know when they would be back. I had watched a couple movies with Bucky and Jane in the evenings, he told me had had gotten the same kind of texts from Steve. Thor had come down to the tower briefly, but headed out almost immediately to meet up his team mates. Jane hadn’t even seen him when he had made his appearance. Jarvis had just relayed the situation and their location and he was gone.

My stuff was going to be delivered tomorrow, and I was excited to have it all back.

My lip was almost healed too. The bruise had faded to a pale yellow, and was almost gone. The split had healed closed and was just a hard ridge across my lip. I was able to wear my lipstick again. I was a happy girl.

We were sitting watching another movie together on the common floor, I was trying to throw popcorn into Bucky’s mouth while he mocked my aim when medical burst onto the floor pushing a gurney, making their way to the quinjet’s landing pad.

We all sat up and listened to their shouts and yells.

“2 incoming, ETA 2 minutes, multiple stab wounds to the torso and a bullet wound to the leg!”

“Call down to the lab and make sure they have 4 units of Captain Rogers blood and 2 units of Romanov’s blood prepped and ready!”

OMIGOD!

OMOGOD, OMIGOD!

Bucky was out of his seat and onto the landing platform before my brain even had a chance to process the information. I shot a panicked look at Jane and we both stood, walked toward the glass windows, staying out of the way.

The remaining 90 seconds between then and when the jet actually landed were the longest of my life. I had spent them watching Bucky, he wore a completely vacant look on his face and stood to the left of the medical staff and the gurney. I could see the hand on his metal arm and it was clenched into a first.

The landing was smooth and the hatch immediately opened, Clint and Bruce came down the ramp, carrying Steve on the back board from the quinjet.

“Stab wound to the left lower abdominal quadrant and upper left side, between ribs 4 and 5. Slash mark to his right cheek and right hip. All are stable except the upper left side, I couldn’t stop the bleeding in flight, and they must have nicked something.”

Steve was still conscious and looking around, his eyes found Bucky and he smiled as they placed the back board on the hospital gurney.

“I’m okay, it’s okay” he held his hand out to Bucky as the staff hooked him up to all manner of machines and strapped him down. His words were soothing but his face was pinched in pain. The look on his face made my stomach roll.

Bucky reached for Steve’s hand with his right one. “It better be, Punk.” was all Bucky could get in before they were pulling Steve away and rolling him back into the building. 

Jane was holding my hand but let go and ran into Thor’s arms when he landed with a bang next to the jet.

I watched for a moment, my guts aching, as Thor rubbed his hand up and down Jane’s back, saying things I couldn’t hear to her.

Clint was discussing something with one of the staff that over saw that maintenance of the jet and Bruce had disappeared back inside.

Iron Man hit the deck next, his facemask snapping open. A bruise was forming under his left eye and the bridge of his nose was split.

My eyes and brain tried to process everything that I was seeing. I had never been present like this when they arrived home from a mission. And I had defiantly never seen them come back from one that had gone bad.

Bruce came out carrying Nat bride style. She had a disbelieving look on her face, the corner of her mouth pulled up while she watched Bruce’s face.

That woke me up and a jogged over to them.

“I’m fine, I’m fine” she told me before I could ask her what happened. “I a bullet grazed my right calf, I’m going to be totally fine. Cut myself worse shaving.”

That I didn’t believe, and I could see the blood soaked bandage around her left leg.

“I’m going to go down to medical and get looked at, but I want to be kept apprised to Steve’s condition, do you understand?” Nat was now glaring at Bruce as he strode past me with a nod, his girlfriend in his arms. They hadn’t needed the Hulk, or else he wouldn’t have been in any condition to carry Nat, much less help with the medical in flight.

I was going to bake Bruce Banner a shit ton of cookies. He was a great man.

Bucky was just standing in the same spot, staring in the direction the gurney had gone. I watched his face, the look of helplessness on it and suddenly pieces snapped together in my head.

Steve and Bucky weren’t just best friends, they were together. Like together, together.

I felt like a complete idiot.

I could feel like an idiot in my room later, right now there were people that needed comforting.

I approached Bucky slowly; a hand outstretched and slid my palm into the hand that had held Steve’s just a minute ago. “Stark has the best people, Steve will have the best care possible. I promise they will do everything they can. He was still awake and talking, that’s good. Bruce is good too. If he said that Steve’s wounds were stable, then they are.” I was hoping that I was saying the right things.

Bucky looked up into my eyes, nodding. “It’s just; I mean…” he seemed lost. “I’ve been on missions with him when he’s gotten hurt before, but since I’ve come back, since I’ve had him back, I’m just not dealing as well with it. I can’t lose him.”

I wondered if anyone else knew about their relationship. I really doubted it. Jane definitely would have told me about Steve and Buck being a couple. Avengers’ pairing off in our world, was big news.

Clint approached us then, done with the jet. He eyed my hand in Bucky’s, but then looked at us with nothing but concern in his eyes.

“What the fuck happened out there?” Bucky shot at him. I tightened my hold on his hand. Not that it would do anything, I just hoped it would help ground him. He squeezed back, letting me know he was totally in control of his actions.

“We were trying to get what info we could out of the Hydra base before Iron Man levelled it, Cap was watching Widow’s back. He said the guy came out of no where, dropped down from the ceiling with speed like he’d never seen. He got one round off, the one that clipped Widow, before the Captain got his gun away from him and they really got into it. He’s not sure where the guy pulled the knife from. Cap said it was like the guy had 6 hands, he was all over him. I swear I tried to get there as fast as I could, but I’d been up high, taking out hostiles from outside.” Clint’s head was still in the mission, referring to his comrades by their codenames.

Bucky and I both listened as Clint rushed through the story. We were following him to the elevator, to head down to medical. Jane and Thor had already headed down so we had to wait for the elevator to make its way back up to us. I watched Bucky eye the stairs. I didn’t doubt he could make it to them on the stairs before we could in the elevator. Looking from the stairs to my face, he must have read something that made him stay with me; he just gripped my hand tighter.

“Iron Man got to him before I could, taking the guy our from behind, Cap was already hurt. I haven’t seen him taken down like that since…”Clint abruptly stopped talking and I wanted to smack him. He was going to say he hadn’t seen him go down like that since Hydragate and his brawl with the Winter Soldier.

Bucky’s eyes drew together in the middle but he was nodding. “I can’t be the only person they experimented on, right. Maybe it was another genetically modified soldier?”  
We had reached medical by this point and I could see Bruce as he stood at the end of a curtain. When he looked up and saw us, he came right over.

“Steve has gone for a scan; I just need to see what is going on in his side. I am confident that the abdominal wound did not hit anything vital, but it will need to be stitched up. His cheek and leg will need the same treatment, if enough time has lapsed though, it may be too late for stitches due to his advanced healing abilities. The only thing I am worried about is his side. I don’t think it penetrated a lung, there were normal breath sounds on both sides, but an artery was compromised for sure.” Bruce filled us in.

Natasha pulled the curtain Bruce had been next too aside and lowered herself to the ground. I watched as she tested the strength of her injured leg, satisfied, she limped over too us. Bruce just shook his head and walked down a hallway. No one knew how stubborn Natasha could be, more then Bruce.

“He is going to be fine Buck. I promise.” Nat put her hand on Bucky’s metal shoulder. The compassion in her eyes told me she knew exactly what Steve and Bucky were to each other.

Clint was just standing stoically next to us, no doubt chastising himself for his earlier slip up with Buck.

“He saved me James. Steve saved my life. Again. And he is going to be fine.” Natasha limped off with Clint following behind.

She stopped at the doorway and looked back at me. “Stay with him Darce. Okay?” Nat asked.

Bucky’s hand was gripping mine so tightly it boarded on pain. I didn’t think I was going anywhere anytime soon, not that I wanted too.

If one of my people was hurt, I wanted to be where they were.

“I won’t leave him,” I promised Nat, trying to convey my support for him and Steve through my grip on his hand.

She nodded, satisfied, and left down the same hallway Bruce had.

I stood for a second, trying to decide what to do. There was medical staff wandering everywhere. I saw Tony briefly through one of the glass walls, he had a small white bandage over his nose and his head was buried in the tablet in his hands.

“C’mon Buck; let’s go sit in the waiting room. We can turn the movie back on, wait for news on Steve kay?” I pulled on his hand.

He nodded and followed me. Some of the color had returned to his cheeks and his head wasn’t hanging anymore. He obviously trusted the prognosis Bruce had delivered for Steve. We sat down on a plush couch in a room very much like the living room, kitchen parts of our apartments upstairs.

“I don’t want to watch the movie,” Bucky said, sitting next to me. “Would you just stay here next to me, don’t leave?” he asked, a note of desperation in his voice.

I let go of his hand as we sat down, he lifted his arm and tucked myself in against his side.

“I am here as long as you need me” I told him quietly.

The thumb of his metal hand ran up and down my arm, soothing for both of us. I concentrated on the sensation, using it to pull myself back from the panic. It could have been worse. 

So much worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm out of town this weekend. Last update for a few days. Hope it's okay. Have a great weekend everyone.


	5. Okay, what?

Steve went directly from his scan into surgery. The knife had nicked a large vein that needed to be repaired. Even super soldier advanced healing abilities can’t heal everything. The stab wound to his abdomen was stitched up while he was in surgery too. Bruce had been correct when he thought it hadn’t hit anything important, but it was so deep that it took multiple layers of stitches to close it. His other lacerations were cleaned and bandaged, but did not need stitches. Within a few days you wouldn’t even see a mark.

The on staff trauma surgeon was quick and efficient, although he seemed a little weary relaying information back to Bucky, before and after surgery. Bucky didn’t look mad or angry, his face was blank.

I responded to what I could, and nodded when I had to, so the surgeon would know that we understood. Bucky told me he couldn’t risk opening his mouth, that even though he knew the surgeon was probably one of the best in the country, he wanted to push him up against the wall and warn him that if he did not do the best job he had ever done in his life the Winter Soldier would come for him.

I agreed. Sometimes it was best to keep your mouth shut and your hands to yourself. And that was not something I said very often. 

Bucky and I had been joined in the waiting room by Thor, Jane, Nat and Clint. The surgery felt like it took ages, in reality it was just over an hour. Bucky didn’t twitch, or pace, he just sat. I thought about it and it made sense. It would be counterproductive for a sniper and assassin to be spazzy. His whole body was tight with tension however, when he had pulled me to him when he first sat down, it was like leaning against a stone wall.

There were no problems until Steve came out of surgery. The amount of anaesthetic that was required to keep him under due to his advanced metabolism would kill an elephant. Within 5 minutes of ceasing the drugs Steve started to come too. His drug addled brain was confused and he became violent as the wheeled him into recovery. Steve was convinced that Hydra still had Bucky and that they all needed to be out trying to save him instead of lying around.

We had all been sitting quietly, worry and exhaustion overcoming us when we heard the commotion. There were crashes, bangs and shouting moments before 2 security guards went rushing past the waiting room doors.

Bucky’s head whipped up towards the direction of the sounds, he was up and out the door in a blur. We all got up to follow, a lot slower, Thor pushing his way to the front. He always did that, using his body to shield us from any perceived danger.

We finally rounded the corner and could see the source of all the noise. I saw Bucky with his hands on Steve’s face, holding his cheeks roughly, forcing Steve to look at him. Security guards were on either side of the gurney in the middle of the hall between surgery and recovery.

I watched everything unfold from next to Jane, clutching her arm while she held Thor’s hand.

It absolutely broke me heart.

“Punk, it’s me” Bucky spoke loudly, forcing Steve to look at him, pushing his own face down so they were inches apart. “Steve, look at me, it’s me, its James. I am here, you are awake and I am here.”

Steve’s wordless hollering stopped, everything seeming to pause except for Bucky.

“Punk, it’s me okay. I am here with you in Avengers Tower. You have already saved me, remember? You found me in that god forsaken alley, you saved my life. We have always been there to save each other.” Bucky grunted when Steve’s hands came up to his face the same way his were on Steve’s. It looked rough, like it hurt, but the connection between them, the love in their eyes, was unmistakable.

“Bucky?” Steve was quiet now, questioning, trying to get what his eyes were seeing to match with what was going through his drugged up mind.

“Yeah Punk, it’s me. We will always find each other. I’m with ya till the end of the line, remember?”

I was in the presence of a love that literally transcended time, and it brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t look away.

The doctors approached the gurney again. Steve had ripped his IV out and blood was dripping down his arm and was all over the floor.

“Let’s get him into a room,” one doctor spoke. “I think its best if you come with us Sergeant Barnes.”

“Good luck tryin’ to stop me.”

With that they were gone.

***

Over the next 2 days I visited Steve and Bucky once every morning and once after dinner. The rest of my time was spent moving my stuff into my place.

Tony had offered me my own floor, one of the 5 residential floors that were still empty. I knew that was his way of showing that he cared, showing me he was happy I was here. I understood Tony, we both spoke sarcasm and had a flare for the dramatic. Nothing could be simple. It all had to be complicated because we made it that way. What looked like nonchalance was really an act designed to make us look aloof. He totally understood when I turned him down though. 

I told him that I was happy sharing a floor with Jane and Thor. It wasn’t like we actually shared space. Each residential floor had 3 separate apartments, one on either side of the hallway and a larger one, at the end of the hallway. Each apartment had 2 bedrooms, the bigger one 3. The master had on suite bathroom. There was a kitchen, dining space and living room with another bathroom off the entryway. All of the appliances were top of the line and the washer and dryer sang a little song at the end of their cycles instead of that horrible annoying buzzing sound.

My plan was to use the second bedroom as an office for my new job. Tony had graciously provided a brand new Stark Industries laptop and a new Stark Pad.

The new place was bigger than place I had shared with Ian and despite having a bunch of stuff; it barely looked like I had moved in anything.

Due to my new living arrangements and my new job I had more money then I was used to having.

“J, I think I need to do some shopping. This place looks a little sparse” I stood in my dining room looking around my apartment. 

“I have always agreed with the idea that less is more Darcy, but even I have to admit the space does not reflect your personal…style” Jarvis replied.

“I will ignore the way you said style Jarv. I really think that this place needs more red though, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Whatever you say.”

***

“They still letting you out tonight?” I asked Steve as I fixed the pillow behind his back for the 20th time. This visit.

“Yeah, we are just waiting for the doctor to sign me out now” Steve said indulging my mother henning, his eyes were following me around the room. “Darcy…?” Steve grabbed my arm as I tried to walk away and fill his water cup.

“Huh?” I turned to look at him, a million things were running through me head. Did Thor need an Instagram account? Did Steve and Bucky’s place need groceries after his hospital stay? Not my job, but I wanted to make sure they are right after all this stress. Oh, when was Jane due to eat again...? One thought flowed into another in my mind. 

“Thank you” Steve mumbled, still holding onto my forearm.

“For what, Cap?” I asked, not really paying attention.

“Darcy stop!” Steve squeezed my forearm, drawing my attention down to him. “I want to thank you, for staying with Bucky the other night. For holding his hand while I was in surgery and keeping him calm. He told me you guys spent some time together while I were away on mission.”

“Yeah Steve, its okay. I was happy to sit with him.” I looked at him, at the look he had on his face.

His blue eyes were boring into me, searching my face. I stared back at him, right into his eyes. I felt like he was trying to tell me something, trying to explain something with his eyes that he couldn’t say with words.

Moments passed while we just starred at each other, his thumb starting to stroke up and down my arm just like Bucky’s had in the waiting room.

“Hey Steve, I have your paperwork right here,” Bruce knocked on the open door, looking down at the clip board in his hands.

Just like that, the moment was broken. Steve dropped my arm and my head snapped over to Bruce. He looked up, totally unaware that he had walked in on something. I wasn’t sure what exactly, but it had felt like something.

“Oh Darcy, it’s great I caught you.” Bruce held the clip board out for Steve to sign. “Its policy for all employees in the tower to have blood banked in case of emergency. Once every 3 months we ask that you come down to medical and we draw some blood, keep it on hand if either you need a transfusion, or if someone else in the tower needs a transfusion and you share a blood type. Are you okay with doing that?”

“Sure, I guess” I nodded at him, taking a couple steps back from Steve’s bed. I felt overwhelmed and out of control. Blood. They needed my blood. 

“They type test it and run your DNA in case we need to locate and notify any next of kin to make decisions on your behalf. It’s just good to have this stuff on file.” Bruce explained why they needed the blood but it was not making its way into my head. I would look back later and know it made perfect sense. 

Bucky chose that moment to come and check up on Steve too. He had barely left Steve’s side, but whenever I came for a visit he would take that opportunity to eat or shower. He had been bugging Steve about milking it, enjoying being in the hospital and having all doctors and pretty nurses, me included, looking after him. He still wouldn’t leave Steve’s side though, only trusting Steve to me when I would visit. 

“Sure vampire man, whatever.” I had risked a look back at Steve because I could feel his eyes on me. Bruce was completely unaware of the tension in the room, but Bucky picked it up from the second he walked in the door. He stood next to Bruce, looking back and forth between Steve and me.

“Alright, then. Steve you are free to go. You have not been cleared for duty yet. I’m going to make you wait another week. You may be super, but I am still going to make you keep your feet up for the next few days okay?’ Bruce didn’t wait for him to respond, just turned his back and walked down the hall. “Darcy, do you want to get this out of the way now? I can hook you up and finish a couple of things in the lab and then come back. You’ll be done in 30 minutes.”

I needed to get out of the room. I needed to get away from Steve and Bucky. I was so confused. I took the chance to flee, my tail tucked between my legs. I broke my eye contact with Steve and ran after Bruce, who was already half way down the hallway. I didn’t know where we were supposed to go and I didn't think Bruce had any idea that I wasn’t right behind him.

I sat in what resembled a dentists chair as Bruce hooked up an IV and bag after drawing a few vials of blood.

Steve and Bucky were together. From what little they had filled me in on, I was able to understand that they had been together since before the war. No one then, knew. When Steve had found Bucky and managed to help him come back into himself they had sworn that they would never hide again. They had given up too much time together already.

I was getting signals from both men though, things that were easy to ignore when I first came back to the tower, but added up over time enough to make bells go off in my head. Steve was always looking me right in the eyes when he talked to me. It was more then just something born from manners. His gaze had been intense these past couple weeks. Steve and Bucky both, were always finding reasons to touch me, hold my hand or wrap their arms around me. Bucky always had his hand on my back when we went between rooms together. Steve hadn’t been like this before. I had tried hard to wrack my poor overloaded brain, but I couldn’t remember a time before I returned when Steve had even so much as touched me.

I was pretty sure that I would have remembered Captain America touching me.

Whatever was going on, both men seemed to be in on it, feeling it, whatever.

I personally, had no idea what was going on. Wishful thinking aside. 

I wanted to close my eyes. I was suddenly so tired I couldn’t hold my head up so I let it drop to the back of my chair. I would close my eyes, just for a second.

Next thing I knew Bruce was shaking me awake gently, he removed the IV from my arm and stepped out of the way.

“Hey doll, why don’t you let me take you up to your room?” Bucky came up to me with his arms out.

“I’m too heavy,” I muttered, rubbing my eyes. I might not know much at the moment, but I did know that boys did not pick a curvy girl like me up. I slid my bum down the chair and went to lower me legs to the ground. My head started to spin and my stomach lurched, “maybe I can just lay here for a few more minutes though?”

Bucky stepped forward and lifted me off the chair and into his arms as if I weighed nothing. A strange strangling noise squeaked out of my throat and I threw my arms around his neck, burying my face in his neck.

“Get her to eat and drink these,” Bruce dropped a can a ginger ale and a bag with a couple cookies in it onto my lap.

“Sure Doc, whatever ya say," Bucky nodded as he carried me from the room.

God he smelled good. Like aftershave and the air outside, right before it rained. I could smell Steve on him too, his cologne. Right where my face was buried, right where Steve’s face would rest when they hugged. I tried to clear my brain, but I felt drunk, half asleep and completely disoriented.

“You guys smell so good, “I mumbled into Bucky’s neck. “I just don’t understand what you want from me…”

Did I really just say that?

“What do you mean Darce? Want from you?” Bucky huffed and pressed the button for the elevator.

“You love each other.” I stated.

“Yeah, we do doll,” he pulled me a little closer, pausing as we made our way to my door. I could tell he was debating on whether or not to say the neck part. “But that doesn’t mean that we can’t love you too.”

My brain had cleared enough that I knew what he was saying and I knew what I had said to him.

Bucky lowered me to my feet, my cookies and pop in my hands and took a step back, not crowding me.

“Bruce wants you to eat and drink those. Make sure ya do that, okay.” Bucky tilted my chin up with his knuckles and met my eyes. “You need to make sure that you take care of yourself so that you can continue to take such awesome care of everyone else. I honestly don’t know what this group of misfits did without you, or did to deserve you for that matter. I don’t know what Steve and I did without you.”

By the look in his eyes I could tell he hadn’t meant to say the last part.

I didn’t know how to respond to that so I just nodded. No one could render me speechless like Steve and Bucky.

“Get a good sleep, kay Darcy.” Bucky pressed his lips to my forehead and I closed my eyes.

He was so warm and he smelled so good. The things he was doing to my stomach were totally foreign and my brain wanted me to fight against them. The rest of me though, they latched onto the feelings for dear life.

“Go on now. I need to go back to my place and check on Stevie. After I moved him to our room I came right down to fetch you," he turned and headed for the stairs. 

“Thank you Buck, you are a good guy.” I looked down and slid my thumb into the lock on my door, listening as it unlocked.

His eyes flew open and I winked at him once as I closed the door behind me.

Wow.

I sank to my bum on the other side of my closed door and buried my face in my hands. I don’t know what made me wink, but my god, the look on his face when I had closed the door had been totally worth it.

If what I felt Bucky was hinting at was actually happening, then I was defiantly going to see where it was going.

I ate my cookies and drank my pop from my seat on the floor, then crawled on my hands and knees through my apartment to my bedroom. I stripped off my shoes, socks and jeans and got into bed.

***

“Ms. Lewis?” a British voice was totally out of place in the dream I was having and I was having a hard time figuring out where it was coming from.

“Ms. Lewis”

“Grumppphhh…”

“Darcy, Mr Banner needs you to come down to the labs. He says it’s urgent. He asked that I wake you.” Jarvis wouldn’t let up.

“Did he say what it was about?” I asked him. The use of the word urgent around here got everyone’s attention. I was already up and sliding my jeans back on, and a hoodie off the floor that just happened to be lying there. 

“No Darcy, he just asked that you come down to the lab right away. He was in the lab all night and seems adgitated. He asked that I wake you and ask that Jane come down as well.

That really got my attention.

I didn’t really remember the trip in the elevator down to the lab, or running down the halls to where Bruce was waiting at the end of the hall. I could see Jane off to his side, but the look on her face gave nothing away. She looked just as confused as I did and that just made me panic more.

Oh my god, Steve!

“Is it Steve? Is he okay? The doctors said it was okay for him to go home. What about Natasha? Did her leg get infected?” I rattled out everything I could think of in rapid fire as I approached them.

“Steve is fine as far as I know Darcy. I am sure that Bucky would let us know if there was anything to be concerned about in regards to his recovery after they left medical. Natasha is fine as well. I texted her about 20 minutes ago, she responded immediately. She was still in bed, her leg healing well.” He held up his hands, stopping me in my tracks. “This has to do with you, with the blood I drew from you last night.”

“Me?” my heart was pounding in my chest.

“I asked Jane to come down here, provide support for you. Can we please go and sit down?” he gestured to his lab; in the corner he had a chair and couch.

I agreed and Jane and I followed Bruce across his lab and too the corner and took seats on the couch.

I was trying to ignore the scenes from movies and TV that were running through my head. The kind of scenes where the doctor tells the scared people sitting on his couch that they have cancer, or some other horrible disease.

I felt fine. 

If I had cancer and my days were numbered I was defiantly going to jump Bucky and Steve at the first chance I got.

“We are just waiting for one more person,” Bruce gestured to the door as Tony sauntered in.

What the actual fuck.

“Kid, Foster, Green Machine, what’s up?” Tony nodded at all of us, stuffing the last of his pop tart in his mouth and tipping back the last of his espresso.

“Tony, you need to have a seat” Bruce indicated the rolling chair next to him.

“Okay Bruce, I don’t know what my blood tests have to do with Stark, but can we please get on with this?” I was starting to panic, my voice rising to an octave I hadn’t heard myself use before. 

I had some crazy rare disease, Congo subterranean liver pancreatitic cancer or some shit. They needed Tony's crazy smart brain to help save me. If you were ever sick enough to rely on Tony Stark as a medical saviour, make up a will. 

“I ran your blood last night Darcy, just like we discussed. I loaded it into the computer and ran it through our databases.” Bruce stopped and looked between Tony and me. “Do you remember when I told you that we logged your profile into our system, just in case of emergency, so we could contact any family that you have in case we needed someone to make decisions for you if you were unable?”

I nodded.

"I know you grew up in the foster care system, I read through your file last night. You have Jane and Thor listed as your emergency contacts and Jane as your medical proxy on your new employee papers." Bruce looked down, my file among the papers on his clip board. 

“Brucey, what is this about?” Tony spoke finally, confused. 

“Now I reran the results 3 times. I was up all night; I wanted to make sure…” Bruce trailed off and looked me right in the eye. “Darcy, you are genetically related to Tony,” he gestured between us.

No one made a sound, the only thing that changed was Jane’s grip on my hand, and it tightened.

“The genetics match in such a way that you and Tony share half of your DNA. It can only mean one thing, Tony and Darcy, you are father and daughter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back. I have been so overwhelmed by everyone's kind words. Thank you so much. I hope y'all enjoy 


	6. Tony and Pepper

“Just breathe. Take deep breaths, in and out.” Jane sat next to me on the couch, my head down between my knees, rubbing my back.

My vision was dark around the edges, like I was looking down a tunnel. I couldn’t breathe in fast enough; I couldn’t take in enough oxygen.

Tony Stark is my father.

Holy fucking shit.

Tony Stark is my father.

After Bruce had dropped that bombshell all I had heard was Jane’s sharp gasp and Tony’s espresso cup hit the floor and shatter.

“Bruce, do you have the print off of the DNA comparison?” Tony finally spoke, stepping forward and taking the clip board from him.

Bruce handed over the paperwork and I spent a few minutes trying to get my world to tilt the right way up again. Jane never stopped rubbing my back but said little.

“Well I guess I should stop calling you Double D behind your back now, hey…” Tony looked down at me. My vision had cleared just enough for me to lift my head and look up at him.

I stared at him for a few minutes, trying to wrap my mind around the reality of what had just been discovered.

Tony Stark, The Tony Stark is my father. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist Tony Stark is my father. My eyes started to fill with tears. What were the odds that my dad had been right here, right under my nose all these years?

“What is Pepper going to say I wonder?” Tony mused next to me, seemingly totally unphased by this new revelation.

“Darcy, how are you doing? How is your breathing?” Bruce approached my perch on the couch.

“I’m…”I cleared my throat roughly. “I am okay, I can breathe.” I looked up at him as the tears started to run down my cheeks.

“Oh Darce, its okay. It’ll be okay” Jane side hugged me, trying to comfort me.

Tony looked back down at me, the humoured look in his eyes switching quickly to concern. He stared at my face and I stared back. A bunch of stupid ideas were running through my head. Had he known that my mother was pregnant? I didn’t think so. He seemed just as startled by the revelation as I was. Would he have wanted me if he had known? Did he want me now? I knew being 26 it wasn’t going to be a typical daddy/daughter relationship, but I had wanted a family my whole life. Every child in foster care that did not get adopted did. They dreamed about a rich king or a movie star coming and saving them. I considered my luck for a moment, still watching Tony, watch me.

There were a lot of kids out there who never got to have a family. I was lucky.

I was so lucky.

I found my father within the sudo-family that we had all created together over the years. We had all survived invasions, near death experiences, being frozen, being brain washed and being different, to band together and create this life.

They were not perfect, but they were mine. All of them were good, decent people just trying to make this world a better place, as misguided as they could be sometimes.

I stood up abruptly and scrubbed the tears from my cheeks.

I wanted this. I wanted this family. Being related by blood to Tony only solidified the feeling that I was back where I belonged. But it was all too much right now. The last 2 and a half weeks had been nothing but emotional bomb after emotional bomb. Ian, moving, Bucky, Steve, the mission and now this. I needed to get away for awhile, collect my thoughts.

“I need to go.” I pushed away from them, running out of Bruce’s lab and down the hallway. I heard Jane call after me as I pushed past someone else, just trying to make it to the elevator before I was stopped.

“Bucky, go after her” I heard Bruce yell just as the elevator door opened and I bolted inside.

“Come on, come on, close. Jarvis, just close the damn doors" I talked to the elevator and thankfully it listened without a snide comment back. The doors started to close as I leaned against the back wall. All I needed was to get out of the tower for awhile. I felt like I was suffocating.

A metal arm shot between the door and the frame of the elevator, stopping it from closing. I watched with narrowed eyes as the doors opened back up and Bucky stepped inside.

“Going up?” he asked, pressing the button for the lobby and folding his hands in front of him.

“What are you doing here?” I spat at him. I was taken back by the venom in my voice. I didn’t ever talk to people like that.  
“I was working out this morning and my arm started acting up at little,” he raised his arm and rotated it around a few times. I could hear a funny clicking sound that hadn’t been there before. “I came down to see if Stark could take a look at it. I hate it when it sticks. He was itching to get his hands on this thing and I need someone who knows what they are doing to perform the maintenance. It's win win.”

I looked at Bucky now, watching him eye me innocently. He was wearing loose jeans and a hoodie, unzipped halfway, no shirt underneath. His wet hair was back in a small bun like he had just showered.

“I wasn’t looking for you, I swear.” He placed his right hand over his heart and cocked a smile at me. “When Bruce yelled at me to follow you, I was just doing what the big man told me to do. I am nothing if not obedient.”

I chuckled at that.

“So where are we off too?” he asked in such a way that let me know I was not getting away from him. He had noticed my red eyes and I am sure the panicked expression on my face. The elevator had arrived at the lobby and we were just standing there. He had asked a really good question.

“I need to get out of this tower. I have barely left since I moved back and things are just…What Bruce just said…with Tony being my…” I didn’t know what I was trying to say. “It just became too much, just right now. I need to get the fuck out of here.” I started panting again, a hint of the previous panic making its way into my voice.

“Okay, okay, whatever you need. I left Steve with Natasha in the common room. They are watching some movie, so I can get away for awhile. First thing though, where do you want to go? I wont let you just wander around New York City, not like this.” Bucky had his hand on my shoulder, watching me with curiosity as I nodded from my half bent position in front of him, trying to catch my breath.

Where did I want to go?

“I don’t have my wallet or my keys” I just realized.

“Okay, Jarvis?” Bucky looked up at the ceiling. “Can you please let me into Darcy’s apartment when I get to that floor so I can grab her wallet?” He directed me over to a couch against the wall. Security was watching us from their desk and nodded when Bucky signalled something to them.

“Of course Sergeant Barnes,” the AI replied.

“You sit right here. I am going to go and get your wallet and let Steve know that I am going out. I will run down to the garage and get my bike, I don’t think I should let you drive like this,” Bucky patted my shoulder.

“Hey, I may be worked up but I am not a danger to society,” I whined at him. Maybe he was right though.

“I’ll be right back” Bucky disappeared into the elevator.

“Jarvis, can you tell him to grab my phone too? It’s still on the table in my bedroom.” I sighed, leaning back into the plush silk couch.

“Yes Darcy, right away. And may I say, welcome to the family.” Jarvis replied, with what sounded like actual sincerity.

“Thanks I guess, J.”

***

It only took 10 minutes for Bucky to retrieve my stuff, let Steve know he was heading out and put on a shirt, exchanging his hoodie for his leather jacket. He pulled up out front the doors on his motorcycle, the security guards informed me that my chariot awaited.

“I got your stuff right here doll,” Bucky patted his front coat pocket. His boot lowered the stand and he got off, helping me secure the strap of the bowl helmet under my chin. Bucky didn’t wear a helmet. “I’m not going to ask you what’s going on” he held my hands between his after they finished with the buckle. “But whatever it is, I am here if you need me. I won’t tell anyone but Steve, and only because we don’t keep secrets.”

“It’s not really bad,” I looked up at him as he tilted his head to the side. “It’s just a shock, that’s all. I have had more then my fair share of those lately.” I let our hands drop down, but laced my fingers with his.

Bucky stood patiently, letting me decide if I was going to tell him or not.

“I just found out that Tony Stark is my biological father.”

Whatever response Bucky had loaded and ready to fire, jammed in his throat.

“Yeah, that’s how I feel too,” I nodded toward the bike, wanting to get the hell out of here for a few hours.

Bucky stood stunned for another moment, his mouth hanging open, before turning and mounting the bike.

I might be emotionally distraught, but I took a moment to watch him climb onto the bike, the way his hips moved, and the way his ass looked against the seat.

“I want to go to Indigo and get some new books, some stuff for my place. There is an awesome second hand store a few blocks over from the book store that I’d like to go to, too. I hope that okay?” I climbed on behind him and tried to contain my glee at pushing myself up behind him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

I was currently pressed up against one of the hottest men I had ever seen in my life, on a motorcycle that had high handlebars, flat black paint and sounded like a jet engine when it started moving. This was something that everyone should get to experience at least once in their lives, of that I was sure.

“Whatever ya want doll.” The motorcycle roared to life as we pulled away from the curb. I buried my face in the leather across his back and focused on the plans we had.  
***

“And that’s when Bruce told us that we were father and daughter.” I slurped the rest of my coke from around the ice in the bottom of my cup through my straw.

“Holy shit.” Bucky nodded, pushing his tray away from him and leaning back in his chair.

We had finished my shopping and were currently sitting in a fast food joint while I filled him in on my morning. We had arranged for a cab to deliver my purchases to the tower before we left for lunch. Bucky had tipped the guy $100 on top of the amount he wanted to make the drop off for me.

I had bought awesome red plaid throw pillows and some glass vases at Indigo, along with 3 new books. At the vintage shop I had scored an awesome print, a couple of old photo albums that I planned to fill and an old table that would go by my front door so I could drop my keys and junk in a bowl on it. All in all, a good shopping day. I hadn’t really thought about how I was getting it all home and was glad Bucky had thought to call a cab. Having Bucky and his metal arm with me was like bringing my own personal pack mule. He didn’t really look impressed about carrying all my bags, but he did so without complaint, but happy to pass them off to the cabby.

A dent in my bank account and the ability to breathe again back in my lungs, we had stopped to decide on our next plan.

Rumbling tummies had sent us to the closest fast food place. Bucky had paid. He said Steve would kick his ass if he let a dame pay while they were out together…or for swearing in front of her for that matter.

As sweet as the chivalry was, a well used “fuck” while talking, often delivered the right message and provided a cathartic release.

“How do you feel about Stark being your dad?” Bucky asked, dumping our trays into the trash.

I noticed a couple girls watching us, watching him, as we made our way to the exit. They were both red faced and giggling at each other. I just smirked when their jaws dropped as Bucky put his hand around my waist as we left. He carefully buckled my helmet and righted his bike as I climbed up behind him.

“It could be worse right?” I half asked. “I like Tony, I understand Tony. We already got along. It’s some weird karmic joke that we have known each other this long. Honestly though, its Tony Stark, everyone knows what he was like with women. I’m surprised I don’t have a bunch of half siblings running around the tower right now.”

“Well he lucked out I’d say” Bucky ran his hand up my arm where it was wrapped tightly around his middle. “You are pretty awesome, doll,” he winked over his shoulder at me.

“Thanks,” I blushed. “You better take me home. I think its time I faced the music.”

The bike started and Bucky steered us away from the strip mall and back through the streets of New York.

I had a surreal moment. Was this really my life?

***

It wasn’t until about an hour after Bucky walked me to my door that the first knock sounded. I had said goodbye to Bucky, told him to give Steve a hug for me and trudged back to my room. My bags were already waiting for me by the door and I hauled them in.

I slowly unpacked them, setting them up just right, already having an idea of where they would go when I had bought them.

I had just placed a bowl on my “new to me” table and dropped my keys in it when I heard the knock at the door.

“Who is it J?”

“Its Sir and Ms. Potts. I was told to inform them when you and Sergeant Barnes arrived back at the tower.” Jarvis replied. “I think they were trying to give you some time, get your thoughts in order before they came up to talk to you. Although I believe that was more Ms. Potts then Sir.”

I didn’t doubt Jarvis was right. Tony was not known for giving people their space, or for his patience. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in those aspects, I sighed at my moment of self actualization.

The knock came again, more insistent this time. Now was as good of a time as any.

I opened the door and tried to smile, Ms. Potts stood to the side, in jeans and a Captain America shirt, something I was sure Tony would be loving. I was guessing her casual dress was a nod to how she was hoping the interaction would go. She wanted me to see that she was Pepper Potts, my father’s fiancé, not Ms. Virginia Potts, CEO of Stark Industries, and general, all around badass. 

Tony was Tony. He was wearing clean jeans and a Metallica T-shirt. The clean part, I was sure, had more to do with Pepper than Tony. Usually when he was just hanging around the tower everything he had on was covered in some kind of grease.

I stepped back and gestured for them to come in, closing the door and following them to the living room. 

I watched Pepper nudge Tony as I took a seat across from them in my favourite chair.

“So kid, it’s been brought to my attention that I wasn’t my usual sensitive self when we learned about each other earlier...”

I held up my hands to stop him. I had run over our interactions earlier in my mind and there was nothing that he could have done or said any differently.

“Tony, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not like there is some handbook for this. I just want you to know that at no point did I arrange this, nor do I expect or want anything from you. We are both adults and I am willing to leave things totally as is, see how things change over time. Or if you have other ideas I am totally willing to talk about that…I just…” here is where I was struggling. “I like my life. I am finally happy after being so freaking miserable the whole time I was in Kansas with Ian. I don’t want anything to change. I don’t want to leave. I am willing to try and keep my distance if things are too uncomfortable for you in light of everything…”

“Arrange this Darcy? Of course not. We never thought for a second that you were working an angle!” Pepper exclaimed, shaking her head from her spot next to Tony.

“Honestly kid, I am surprised that this kind of thing hasn’t happened before. Before I was with Pep, well you know how I was with women. We have had kids come out before, claiming to be mine, and trying to get their hands on some of my money. We know, Pepper and I both know, that you aren’t like that,” he squeezed Pepper’s hand and slid forward.

A silence took over the room as we all sat, figuring each other out.

“I like you Darcy. If keeping things like they are, me being me and you being the scientist wrangler extraordinaire, is how you want to do things, I’m good with that. Besides, Pepper thinks it’s great. She is convinced that I got the best deal out of this whole mess. I get you as a daughter.”

“Darcy, this is great news. I feared that one day this would happen and now that it has, I couldn’t be happier that it was you. Surprised, I mean, what are the odds, but thrilled.” Pepper smiled over at me.

“It’s just so much. I had no idea about my birth parents. I always went by the idea that if they had walked away from me, then they probably weren’t people I wanted to get to know anyways…”trailing off, my foot firmly stuffed in my mouth.

“No, no, I get it” Tony nodded. “I want to tell you that if I had known, things would have been different. They probably would have been. I was a mess for a lot of years though, not that I have my shit together now, but I was a real mess. What happened in Iraq, Iron Man, the Avengers initiative, it gave me a direction. I was in no shape to be any kind of a parent.” I could feel him looking at me, for the first time since I had met Tony Stark there was real emotion in his eyes. I felt like he actually meant what he was saying. There was no design; there were no means to an end.

“It’s okay Tony. You didn’t know. I believe that you didn’t know. We are getting a chance now, something that very few get. Let’s just see how things go okay” I didn’t know what to think about any of it anymore. But knowing he felt the same helped.

“Now hunny, we wanted to ask you…” Pepper seemed hesitant to continue.

I nodded, getting up from my chair to make some coffee. I needed coffee and because they were related to me, I would let them have some too, if they wanted. I did not like to share the coffee in my room. They both declined my offer so I pushed the handle down on my Keureg and waited for it to finish filling my cup as Pepper finally started talking again.

“We wanted to ask you what you knew about your biological mother. Tony has absolutely no idea, of course. And we are curious to know about the circumstance of your birth or if you have any idea who she is?” Pepper spoke clearly, looking at me and not Tony. He just sat there next to her, something like shame coloring his face.

“Ms. Potts,” I started.

“Pepper, please."

“Okay, Pepper," I tried it out, smiling. We were a family, small and new and weird, but a family just the same.

The activities they had me play at children’s services growing up came to mind, one in particular. It was a giant felt board and it came with felt people of all races, ages, appearances, all different, and we could piece them together on the board to make a family that matched whatever one we were currently placed with. It felt like I was being pieced together now, with a bunch of other misfits. 

I looked at Tony then, really looked, and realized how much I did look like him. Same nose, same hair color, neither of us were very tall. All things that would have been ignored as random coincidence now had reason behind them. I caught him studying me right back, smirking as he brushed his knuckles across the end of his nose.

“Okay, Pepper,” I nodded, repeating myself. "I know very little about my birth mother. Just the bits the hospital was able to collect. I was born in Lincoln Nebraska in 1989. A woman came into emergency in very active labour, and gave birth within a couple hours. She had told them right off that she wasn’t going to keep me, that she couldn’t keep me and to give me up for adoption. The name she gave was a fake, and she didn’t provide any next of kin information on the forms. From what I understand a nurse chose the name Darcy, and Lewis was the last name she had provided them with. They knew it wasn’t real but had nothing else to go by. She snuck out of the hospital within 24 hours of giving birth. After I turned 18 I filled out a bunch of online stuff, you know, those websites that you can go to that are like dating sites, but for adoptive children and their birth parents. No one ever got back to me.” Pepper and Tony were both watching me now, their attention totally on me. I could see the look in their eyes, the look that people gave to kids who grew up in foster care. 

Pity.

“Don’t look at me like that” I got defensive, clenching a first. “I was lucky okay. I had it a lot better then a lot of the other kids did. I only ever had one bad placement and it was short. Most of the homes I was in were taking us kids in for the money yeah, but they provided too. My clothes weren’t new, but they were clean. I very rarely went without. As soon as I was able to get out on my own, I did, applying for scholarships and making it into school. A lot of the foster parents were nice to me because I was so smart; it looked good on them when I came home with good grades. I guess I know why…” I looked at Tony. I did not want his pity. I had looked after myself.

If we started down the pity spiral he would never look at me the same again. I needed to feel comfortable here.

“Okay, okay kid. Sorry, it’s not like that. I don’t know what its like.” He was at a loss for words, a first for a Stark…oh god. I was a Stark too.

Pepper asked me a few more questions while Tony sat quietly beside her. When she ran out of things to ask me, all the talking died out. We sat there awkwardly trying to figure each other out, trying to figure out where we were supposed to go now.

“I think we should go Tony, give Darcy her space.” Pepper stood, pulling Tony up next to her. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of me this entire time and he still continued to stare.

“Kid…”he trailed off again.

“Its okay you know, you don’t have to say anything. I’m not going anywhere. Let’s take a day, come back when it’s all had a chance to sink in?” I asked him. I was totally out of ideas.

“Yeah, sure. But if you need anything, I want you to come to me. I don’t know how good I will be at this whole dad thing” the word rolled off his tongue and out of his mouth like it tasted bad, a funny look on his face. “I know I am okay at the friend thing though. You need me, I’m here. We look after our own okay?”

I felt like I wanted to hug him. I had hugged Tony before, but that was before everything had changed. Pepper didn’t hesitate like I did; she came forward, hugging me tight.

“Darcy, Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes wanted me to extend an invitation to join them for dinner in their apartment?” Jarvis’s voice filled my living room.

I thought for a moment. I didn’t really want to be alone, and I definitely wanted out of this situation. At least now I had somewhere specific to go.

“Sure J,” I looked at my watch. It was only 3:30. I had enough time to shower and change out of my grungy jeans and hoodie before heading to the floor above mine. “Tell them I’ll be by in an hour or so kay.”

“As you wish, Darcy. Sir, Ms. Potts.” Jarvis acknowledged them before going off to relay my response to Steve and Bucky.

 

Tony raised an eyebrow at me as I followed them to the front door. I just stared back. We were so not there. I didn’t have a handle on any of the relationships in my life except for me and Jane. I wasn’t going to even begin to explain them to Tony. He was definitely not in a place to question what I was doing or who I was doing it with.

Not that I was doing anything. 

After they left, I was under the spray of the shower in less then a minute. My clothes left a trail from the front door to my bathroom and I just stood under the scalding water, letting it wash the last few days off my body.

On to the next though, what the hell do you wear to a dinner with Captain America and the Winter Soldier in their apartment?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Bucky and Steve are next. I promise.


	7. Am I imagining this...?

I put a lot more work into my outfit then I should have. I had asked JARVIS what the dinner plans were exactly, if we were going out or staying in? We were staying in. That still posed the issue of how casual is too casual? I mean, I wasn't going to show up in yoga pants and my Bam Bam and Rubble shirt. Trying to look like you didn't try, while actually trying was a hard look to nail down. So I stood and stared at all of the stuff hanging in my closet.

I finally decided on tights with the pattern of a red mermaid’s tail on them and a long black chunky sweater that covered my bum. I curled my hair and applied simple makeup, a pale lipstick, and slipped on black flats.

The weight of everything that was happening in my life was slowly building up on my shoulders. Tony was being awesome about everything, taking it in stride, acting totally out of character for a Stark. I felt like we were moving in the right direction. This hadn’t been a negative experience at all so far. I was hoping that it would continue on this way, that we could just build a simple, comfortable relationship. The sheer shock of the whole thing was a lot though, on top of all the changes and emotional upheavals of the last while, I was starting to take pause and look at my life. 

Things had been different with Steve since I had been back at the tower. He went out of his way to make eye contact and find little reasons to touch me. It didn’t seem like big things, but it was. Things with Bucky had always been flirtatious, but easy at the same time. I had been surprised by just how healthy he seemed. I know we had all been scared as to what his condition would be whenever it was Steve was able to find him. They had handled it right though, given him time and a safe place to heal, before he was thrust back into normal life. Or as normal as the Avengers ever had it at least. He was easy to talk too and easy to be around. I didn't know the whole story, an imagined there was some residual PTSD, but that wasn't any of my business. Not right now anyways. 

The shock of finding out they were a couple was mild, and I couldn’t get over just how tragic and romantic the whole story was. I was just glad that they had found each other again, that at least they were getting their happy ending when so few in their line of work ever did.

I just couldn’t figure out where I was supposed to fit into this whole thing. I was a true believer in love, in whatever form it came in. You were a lucky person to have it and for it to be healthy and safe, not like Ian and I. Was there really room for me in a relationship that had been alive for over 70 years?

So here I was, standing nervously outside Steve and Bucky’s room in my sweater and flats. I was not normally a nervous person and it had been a long time since I had felt good in my own skin like I was used too.

This whole loitering outside their door thing was for the birds.

I knocked and started twisting my fingers together.

“Come on in!” a bellow came from the other side of the door and I hesitated briefly as I reached for the knob. I felt like I was walking into something. It felt like something important was about to happen, more so then it did when I had the chat with Tony and Pepper earlier. I really wished the self confidence I had always rocked would come back. I really needed that right now. Being insecure was fucking exhausting.

I opened the door and stepped into Steve and Bucky’s place, they occupied the bigger suite at the end of the hall on this floor. At first all I could see was Steve’s shoulders and head over the top of the couch, his head was turned around and he had a big smile on his face as he watched me walk in and stop uncomfortably in their entry.

“Hiya Darcy, you look nice.” Steve smiled at me and started shifting in his seat, trying to stand up. “Buck, get off. Its not polite,” he huffed.

“But I’m comfy. Darce, come on over an’ sit with us” Bucky yelled from the couch. I couldn’t see him at all until he stuck an arm up and waved at me. “We’re watchin’ RED.”

I had to laugh in spite of the situation. It often took me a little by surprise just how freaking normal the guys could be.

I made my way over to the couch and peered over the back, half curious, half weary as to what I was going to find.

Steve was seated with Bucky’s head on a pillow on his lap and a knitted afghan over his legs. Steve had Bucky’s hair out of its usual bun and was running his fingers through his it, staring down with an indulgent look on his face.

“Well you look comfy, are you sure you want company?” I asked, smiling at the boys as I walked around to the front of the couch.

“See Jerk, told ya’ it wasn’t polite to not greet company when they came over.” Steve tapped Bucky on the side of the head and shrugged up at me. 

Sweet baby Jesus, could they be any more adorable? It almost hurt to look at.

“Well unlike you Captain, I am not the epitome of manners and the American dream. Darcy knows she’s welcome, right doll?” Bucky smirked up at me.

I laughed out loud again and noticed that I very rarely did that anymore. And when I did laugh, it was almost always with Steve or Bucky around.

“Well at least sit up so she can sit on the couch with us and watch the movie,” Steve bent over and looked his boyfriend in the eyes.

I heard Bucky sigh and roughly push the blanket off his legs and sit up. He looked totally rumpled, in jeans and an undershirt. His hair was hanging just past his jaw and he was looking up at me with those impossibly blue eyes that made my stomach clench up.

“We thought we would just order in and watch a movie tonight. Nothing exciting. I know you’ve been through a lot lately and we thought you might want to relax and just hang out. Easy.” Steve gestured to the table and the small stack of take-out menus that were pilled on top, completely ignoring Bucky’s half hearted whines about loosing his spot.

“That’s great guys. I really appreciate that.” I tried to smile wide enough for it to meet my eyes, but I was suddenly uncomfortable again. I felt like I was always intruding, not only now, but when I came back to the tower and into Jane’s life. I'd intruded into Tony’s life, and now I felt like I was intruding in the guy’s night at home.

I shook myself and smiled more widely. No one had ever accused me of intruding. I had been welcomed back here with open arms, Tony was not upset about our new found relation and Bucky and Steve had made a point of inviting me here tonight. If I felt awkward it was because I was making myself feel that way. I needed to brush that shit aside and enjoy the time with the people around me. They obviously wanted me around, and I was being the rude one now.

With a quick mental shake I sat down and lifted my legs onto the table, mirroring Bucky’s posture. I grabbed the menus and started flipping through them. Steve had reached for the remote and restarted the movie that had been paused when I had entered, but I could feel Bucky watching me. Something I chose to studiously ignore as I pretended the food choices were a lot more interesting then the very warm body seated just a few inches to my right.

“You look nice Darce, relaxed, don’t stress about stuff, kay. We just want to hang out with you, get ta know ya.” Bucky spoke quietly, picking up on my tension.

I turned and looked at him, Steve was watching me too, and both sets of blue eyes were searching my face, absolute sincerity written on both.

“It’s just been a lot lately. I’m really trying, I will really try. I just haven’t felt like myself lately.” I felt a tear escape my eye and roll down my cheek. 

I felt like a complete baby. I was sitting here whining about my feelings after what they had gone through, after Steve's recent injury. But no matter how "glass half full" I was trying to be, I couldn't shake the weight following me around. 

“Its okay doll,” Bucky’s thumb snaked up and rubbed away the rouge tear. “I know what its like to feel lost. Don’t think that we expect anything from you or of you at all while you’re here okay?” I nodded. “Just relax, pick some food and watch this awesome action movie with us.” Bucky looked back up at the TV. Steve have me one final glance, but looked back up at the TV too.

I couldn’t help but smirk as Bucky laid his arm across the back of the couch, gently rubbing his thumb up and down the skin the was showing around the top of my wide necked sweater.

It was easy after that. I chose Italian take-out and after we ordered I listened to Steve and Bucky argue over who was going to go down to the lobby to fetch the food. Both refused my offer to get the food once it arrived, but neither wanted to go and get it themselves. Steve lost the argument and the total cheeky look that Bucky gave me when Steve sighed in defeat made me laugh so hard I choked on the water I’d been drinking.

We watched RED and then RED 2 while enjoying our food. Steve had ordered spaghetti and meatballs and the meal ended with him trying, but missing to throw a meatball into Bucky’s mouth, I was sure the miss was intentional because Bucky ended up with sauce all over his left cheek and the most disconcerted look I’d ever seen on a persons face. I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long, long time.

I had gotten closer to the guys as the evening had progressed, finishing the second movie with my legs draped across both of theirs and my back rested against the arm of the couch. The couch was massive and comfy and I was the most relaxed I had been in months.

Both of the super soldiers were like a furnace though and while the credits were rolling I reached up and pulled my sweater over my head. I had put on a baggy black tank under my sweater; it had a sugar skull across the front in red and went with the print on my tights. Bucky noticed first and went quiet, looking at me, Steve was quick to follow his gaze and both of the men stared at me with a look in their eyes that I couldn’t mistake. My tank was low cut and put my impressive girls on display. To their credit, their glances at my rack had been brief and they were both now searching my face.

I didn’t miss how Bucky’s hand was now rested on Steve’s thigh.

It felt good to be looked at like that. For two beautiful men, who could have any females they wanted, to look at me with such absolute desire in their eyes.

I had always been curvy. Some men could handle it, most couldn’t. I loved my body and I owned its curves. If you didn’t like, then I was probably too much woman for you anyways.

I cleared my throat, feeling the heat of the intense moment.

“Sorry we’re starin’ doll, you’re just so beautiful.” Bucky kept his wide eyes on my face, placing his other hand on my thigh, watching my reaction. I could feel the coolness of his metal hand through my tights and it sent a spark from where he touched me, straight to the depths of my belly.

“Buck’s right Darcy. I hope you know how gorgeous you are. You look like the pin ups we had next to our cots when we were in the army. All curves and smooth skin.” Steve shifted in his seat; I didn’t miss how Bucky’s hand was clenching gently in place on his thigh. I could feel the blush rise up from my neck, colouring my cheeks. It was getting hotter in here by the second, but I didn’t have anymore layers I could shed and still be appropriate…

“I…” didn’t know what to say. “My god is it hot in here or is it just me?” I chuckled nervously and fanned myself lamely.

Both boys let out loud laughs, looking back at each other and nodding. I smiled at that. They were so cute, and hot and beautiful…

“What brought this on Steve? I mean, we’ve hung out together before and honestly, you’ve never looked at me like that before.”

“After London, when you came to help get Jane set up was the first time I met you, and then when you’d visit her, you were with Ian. I’m not that kind of guy, to go after another guy’s gal. I know he saw it though,” Steve chuckled. “More then once he caught me watching you and his eyes would go wide. I know he wanted to say somethin’, warn me to keep my hands to myself. I’m pretty sure he was scared of me though. I never, ever would have tried anything while you were with him.”

I was looking down at my hands, fingers wound together across my stomach, studiously ignoring Steve’s tone and Bucky’s hand.

“We like gals too Darce, both Stevie and I have been with dames before. Together and separately. The together part was only a couple times back before I fell…” Bucky trailed off, trying to make it seem like it wasn’t such a big deal. “But it has always been Steve for me. I have never been with another guy, I don’t think I could.” Bucky was being honest, they both were. All I could do was give them the same in return.

“You guys amaze me. So many couples give up so easily and then there is you two.” I gestured between them, bringing my eyes back up to them. “Most people only dream of what the two of you have, not the hardships, because, I mean, wow. But a love that transcends. It’s beautiful and amazing and I couldn’t imagine feeling like that about someone and having someone return that love. It’s humbling and inspiring and…okay I’m rambling.” I paused for a second to try and put my train of thought back on its track. “What I’m trying to say here is, what can I bring to the relationship?” There, I said it. It was out there.

They looked at each other, silently communicating in a way that comes from knowing someone for decades. I waited patiently, letting them figure out what they were going to say to me.

“You, this, was not something that we were actively searching for. Having a third person in our relationship was never actively discussed.” Steve was still looking at Bucky’s profile, as Bucky watched me, watched my reactions. I felt like he could read my thoughts. I always carried my emotions out in the open, something that a trained spy and assassin would be able to use. The training went deep, not something that he did consciously I was sure. I didn’t hold it against him.

“We both love women Darcy, we both miss being with a woman. I’m not saying our relationship is missing something or lacking in anyway. We both feel that a woman, that you, can bring something extra to our relationship.”

I watched Bucky back as he spoke. His hand had started a soft caress on my thigh and I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything besides the feeling of it.

“We get that we are a lot to take in. Saying that we come with baggage is the understatement of the century, and we would know.” Steve cracked a joke, Bucky just looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “And I know that you have had your fair share of trouble recently too. We don’t want to pressure you into anything. And we talked about waiting to voice our intentions, to talk to you about what we were wanting. But it hasn’t exactly been a secret. Bucky and you both wear your emotions on your sleeves, something I envy. And I wanted to make sure you knew what we wanted, and hope you want too, before we make you uncomfortable.”

“What the Jerk is saying, none to clearly Darcy, is that we want to court you. We want to see if you will give us the opportunity to show you that there is room for you with us. That we are not worried about jealousy or sharing time or that kind of stuff. We both like you and want to spend time with you.” Bucky squeezed my leg.

I knew the look on my face had to absolute disbelief. I did a mental check to make sure that my mouth wasn’t hanging open, that there wasn’t drool hanging from my bottom lip.

The two most beautiful, sexy men I had ever seen in my life, were not only in a relationship together, but wanted me to be a part of that relationship with them. They were actively pursuing me. Images of a Darcy sandwich, light on the Darcy, popped into my head. The weight of Bucky’s metal arm on my leg, brought to mind the sinful things he could do to me with it. Were they interested in an actual relationship, or was this a casual sex thing? I had to ask the question, fearful of the answer. Steve was amazing and the more time I spent with him, the more I liked him. I already had feelings for Bucky, feelings that I had shoved deep, deep down when I had learned that they were together. Most girls would jump at this chance. I wanted to make sure that what they wanted was exactly what I wanted before I got in any deeper.

“You guys are amazing. Most women would give any body part to be with even one of you. And this is the most flattering offer I have ever gotten in my life,” Steve’s face started to fall; Bucky’s eyes shifted away and then back to my face. “I have just gotten out of a long relationship, and you guys know how it ended.” I could tell they did because both of their faces darkened. Ian should be afraid, and that filled me with glee.

“I want to make sure that if we do, do this, that it is going to work up to becoming a relationship. I do not want to just have casual sex,” I could feel my face flush darker at the word. “I want to work at being your girlfriend, at you two being my boyfriends. I do not want a casual thing.” I finished in a rush, wanting my feelings out there.

“If that is the impression we gave you then we went about it the wrong way doll.” Bucky smiled at me, the slight leer back in his eyes.

“Yeah, we want you to be a part of our relationship as much as Buck and I are. We are not in this to just get some. We want you Darcy, all of you.” Steve finished, and damnit if those weren’t the hottest words any man had ever said to me in my life. “If we start down this road and you decide it isn’t for you, that dealing with all of this isn’t for you, then you can absolutely walk away. We don’t want you to be unhappy and we will do what we can to make you as comfortable as possible. Coming into an already established relationship can be tough I’d imagine, but we want this. We want you.” Steve finished, with Bucky nodding.

“Oh wow…” I breathed out, taking both of them in, feeling a smile start to spread across my face.

Holy Shit.

This was happening.

“So courting, what does that entail?” I asked, wanting to break the tension in the room. The heated look was back in both of there eyes and I wanted to try and leave this room with both my clothes and dignity intact. If we were going to do this properly, I was not going to sleep with both of them right now.

“I guess its old fashioned,” Steve looked at Bucky. His hand was now grasping Bucky’s, there fingers laced.

“We want to date you, I guess is the way they say it now. We want to take you out on dates, the three of us together, and one on one if that’s something you want. We are not looking at any other gals Darce; I want to make that clear okay. It’s just you. We can start slow and go from there, move at a pace we are all comfortable with.” Bucky laced his fingers with mine too.

“I’m not seeing anyone. I mean, there isn’t anyone else right now, not after…” I trailed off, wanting to assure them too. The idea of dating hadn’t occurred to me since Ian. This though, this was something I wanted. “It was over with Ian; long before it was actually over, if that makes sense. We hadn’t been getting along in such a along time, and sex, there was no sex…” I was rambling again. “I don’t want you to think that I am agreeing to this on some kind of a rebound okay?” I finally stopped my mouth from flapping and got to the point.

“We are okay with moving at your pace, kay doll?” the heat wasn’t leaving Bucky’s eyes and Steve kept shifting in his seat.

“Absolutely Darcy. This whole Tony being your father thing has got to put your brain through the ringer, and we didn’t want to dump this on you right now. It just seemed like the right time is all. You can take time to think about it if you want.” They were both leaving the choice totally up to me.

“I’m free tomorrow night…” I figured that was a good way to show them that I was on board with this whole thing.

I honestly could not be more on board.

Both of their faces lit up, the sexual tension in the room starting to heat up again.

Bucky looked at me, the intent clear in his eyes, as he leaned foreword. He searched my face, asking for permission. I leaned towards him, still clutching his hand where it rested on my thigh. His blue eyes were electric as they narrowed in on my lips and he finished closing the distance.

His lips were on fire, the heat of him burning right through me to my core. I had felt so cold and the kindness in his eyes, in their eyes, was enough to warm my insides.

The kiss was gentle, his lips soft on mine. I gave as much pressure back, as he gave to me, moving with him. I was trying to keep it sweet, keep it within the bounds of what we had just talked about. I wanted to move at a slow pace, not rushing myself.

That all went out the window when Bucky ran his tongue across my lips and I gasped. I heard Steve gasp too and felt his hand slide onto the one hand Bucky was already holding. I opened my mouth to let his tongue in and let out a small, quiet moan when his tongue met mine. Never in my life had I gotten this hot, this fast.

They both tugged on my hand at the same time, and I went willingly, shifting forward, moving my legs until I was straddling Bucky. Our lips never left each others and his metal hand went to my face, his fingers pushing back into my hair. The pressure started to increase with each kiss and our tongues started to fight against each other. I started to feel light headed, totally giving up my need for oxygen for more of his mouth on mine. His teeth bit down on my bottom lip and gave it a little tug, pulling away slightly. He rested his forehead against mine, pressing one more gentle kiss to my lips as I took a deep breath.

I felt a warm hand on the small of my back; it slid up just a little, the heat of Steve’s skin burning into the skin of my back. I turned my face away from Bucky, meeting Steve’s gaze with my own.

“That was amazing” Steve told me, looking right in my eyes. His pupils blown wide and his cheeks flushed. His hand on my back massaged gently and sent waves of pleasure directly down my spine. My eyes darted between Bucky and Steve and I leaned to the side, watching Steve’s face, looking at his amazing pink lips. His tongue darted out and wet them gently and an involuntary shudder shook my body. I felt Bucky’s hand slide from my hair down my neck to my side, just to the side of my breast. I was breathing heavily, the heat from both of them starting to consume me.

My lips met Steve’s roughly, our teeth and tongues clashing as I breathed him in. His hand climbed up my back, spreading the warmth of him with it. My lips were swollen and wet, Steve’s saliva combining with Bucky’s on them, and in my mouth. The taste of them was heady and was turning me on more then I thought possible. I knew that Bucky was watching me, watching us. Everything about this was doing it for me. I could feel wetness between my legs where they were spread over Bucky, his hand rubbing my side as Steve devoured my mouth and spread heat up and down my back. 

I had to slow this down, put on the brakes, or we were going to reach the point of no return. I wanted to treat myself properly, and treat them like they deserved.

I didn’t really want to stop, but I needed too.

I kissed Steve back hard, sliding one hand up each of there chests and up to there cheeks. The kisses slowed and finally stopped, one final gentle nip before our mouths parted. Steve and Bucky both pressed their foreheads to mine, the three of us taking each other in with heavy, panting breaths.

I was warm all over, sweating almost, never so thankful for deodorant in all my life. My hands were rested on there cheeks, they each had a hand around my back. And that’s how we sat, calming ourselves, pressed together.

“I don’t want to stop,” I finally whispered, Steve nodding before I could finish. “But I need too. I want to give this the respect that it deserves.”

Bucky was the first to pull away, turning his face into my hand and kissing my palm, Steve followed quickly behind, his eyes closed, taking deep breaths.

“I’m sorry Darcy, you just look so sweet and I wanted a little taste.” Bucky brought his hand up to mine and lowered it from his face.

“There aren’t words, I mean, wow.” Steve opened his eyes and looked at Bucky. The heat between them was so strong, so intense I could feel it like a tangible thing in the room.

I knew that this would continue between them when I left and the idea both turned me on and left me wanting. I shifted in Bucky’s lap, trying to get friction where I needed it. His eyes shot from Steve’s face to mine as a felt his bulge press into me through the thin material of my tights.

“I’m going to get down…” I lowered my eyes and shifted to my side, sitting my bum on the couch with my feet planted on the floor. My hands went to my face, covering it. I wanted these boys so badly and the heat from our little session was way more then I had bargained for tonight.

“This has been…something else guys. And as much as I would love to be a part of what I am sure is going to happen after I leave your apartment, I need to be smart. I think I better go."

Steve and Bucky looked so sweet, sitting there on the couch together as I stood up. Suddenly in a rush to get out of here. They were looking back and forth between each other and then back up at me.

It looked like they were waiting for the blood to return back to their brains from other places… I laughed out loud at that thought, about the complete impossibility of the situation I was in.

Captain America and The Winter Soldier, two of the hottest guys in the world, in my opinion, wanted me to be there girlfriend. We had been having a completely obscene make out session, all open mouths and tongue, and I was going to leave. I was pretty sure my dignity was intact, but right now that wasn’t much consolation.

I started to walk to the door, Bucky’s brain catching up to him first, as he got up of the couch and scrambled to walk me out.

I tried not to look at the obvious erection caged behind the fly of his jeans as Steve stood up too, staying on the other side of the couch. He was holding a pillow to his crotch, which was just the sweetest, most juvenile thing I had seen in a long time.

“That was amazing doll. You still want us to plan something for tomorrow night?” Buck asked me gently as I slid my flats back on and reached for the door knob. My sweater was clutched firmly in one hand. I was still too hot to consider putting it back on.

“You bet your ass I do, and guys,” they both looked at me with wide eyes. “Make it awesome, okay.”

They both nodded as I opened the door. On a whim, I turned back to them, feeling both of their gazes still on me even once my back was turned. I wanted to return some of the sexual tension I would be carrying all night. They both had an outlet. The idea of using my battery operated boyfriend was very unappealing compared to the heat of my boys.

“I’ll see ya tomorrow soldiers.” I breathed out, cocking a half smile at both of them. I puckered my lips and blew a kiss, hearing them both draw in a sharp breath I smiled and closed the door behind me.

Pulling a scene from a bad rom com I leaned against the wall next to their door and concentrated on getting my sea legs under me. Those boys had done a number on my nervous system. My brain refusing to fire properly.

I took a minute to gather my thoughts, trying to decide what needed to happen next. A date with B.O.B. being the most likely.

A bath sounded amazing too, with bubble bath and bath salts. My iPod was down in the labs though…sigh.

“J, can you take me down to the labs please?” I asked once in the elevator, still needing to lean against the side.

“Of course Darcy. May I ask how you are feeling?” The English accent snarked. “You seem a bit…flushed.”

“Keep your heat sensor cameras to yourself J, will ya.” I chuckled under my breath.

“Whatever you say miss.”

The elevator was making its way into the bowels of the tower and the cooled air felt amazing on my flushed skin. I placed my hand across my forehead, drawing away the sheen of sweat that had collected there. Slipping my sweater back on, I started to wonder what time it was. I didn’t know how long I had been with the boys. I could tell time with them was going to have a habit of getting away from me.

 

“J is Jane still down here?” I might as well check and direct her to the nearest bed with a pop tart jammed in her mouth while I was already down here.

“No, Mr Odinson returned to the tower this evening and him and Miss Foster have retired to their quarters.”

“Cool, thanks J.”

I paused just outside the elevator, trying to remember where exactly I had left my iPod.

I was pretty sure it was on my desk in Jane’s lab, but I had also been in Bruce’s lab, taking down notes while they had discussed some theories very early one morning.

I walked down the halls; all the lights were off, giving an eerie feeling. JARVIS was turning the lights on one section at a time as I walked along the hallway to Jane’s lab. I reached for the key pad, just as a noticed a faint light coming from the lab across the hall. I wanted to make sure Bruce had left the labs like Jane had.

It took a moment for me to focus on the source of the light from inside the lab and once my eyes did, I quickly looked away, the privacy frosting starting to spread across the wide panes.

The damage was done though, what was seen could not be unseen.

I had seen Bruce from behind, his shirt off, his pants around his ankles. Pale legs were wrapped around his waist and red hair was visible just over his hunched shoulder.

“Jesus JARVIS, why didn’t you warn me?” I hissed, slipping into the lab and grabbing my device from my desk.

“My apologies Darcy, I was not aware that you would be entering Mr. Banner’s lab and Miss Romanov had instructed me that under no circumstances was I to bother them. I had rather hoped you just wouldn’t notice.” His prim voice informed me.

“Awesome plan J, awesome.” I sighed hurrying back to the elevator and jabbing the button for my floor.

Looked like everyone was getting laid tonight but me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to get another update in before the weekend. It's not likely though. My fertility drugs are making me feel yucky. I'll be gone all weekend. If I can't get it done by then, then I hope early next week. 
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos. They mean everything.
> 
> I do not own these amazing characters.


	8. The courtship of Lady Darcy

I was in the lab with Jane the next morning when Natasha came walking silently in. She gave a quick greeting to Jane and came to stand by my desk. I didn’t know if Nat knew I saw her and Bruce the night before. I really hoped she didn’t know, but she’s Natasha Romanov, she sees everything.

“Hey Darcy,” she popped a big bubble of gum. “I was chatting with James this morning, he is practically glowing.”

“Ah, yeah, that’s good. I am pretty excited too” I hedged. I didn’t know what she was getting at and I didn’t understand the tone of her voice.

“I like you, you know that right?”

“Sure I do Nat, I like you too…” I had an ominous feeling. Something about the way she was standing there in black, snapping her gum, looking down at me at my seat in front of my desk, it made the hair on my neck stand up. 

“You’ll understand though, that I like James too, we have history. I will hurt him and Steve if they hurt you, but you won’t see or hear me coming if you hurt James.”

My jaw dropped and I felt my eyes get wide. I just got the Black Widow’s version of the shovel talk. I had agreed to start seeing the frosty twins not 12 hours earlier and already I was getting threats from assassins. Wow.

“And don’t worry about last night, Bruce didn’t know you were there, and I’ve been seen in worse positions than that.” She smirked at me and turned on her heel, leaving the lab, popping her gum the entire way.

“Okay, so a couple questions?” Jane came up beside me, my mouth still hanging open after the retreating Russian.

“Huh?” I managed.

“Why did the Black Widow just give you the shovel talk about Steve and Bucky and what compromising position did you see her and Bruce in?”

“I came down last night to get my iPod and saw Bruce and Natasha going at it on one of the tables in his lab…” I trailed off, yanking my eyes from the door and up to Jane. “Good form, nice tush, if I had had score cards I would have held up a 7. I wasn’t in there though, so I couldn’t hear. All parties looked to be having an enjoyable time.”

Jane started laughing, a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

“How about you, I hear the God of Thunder returned, how was your night?”

“Well, you know…” she trailed off. She wasn’t into sharing, despite my almost constant prodding. I so wanted to know all about Thor’s…. If his man parts were as impressive as his biceps or his hammer, I knew Jane would have had a very good night.

“Stop trying to change the subject Darce. Why did Natasha just give you the assassin’s version of a shovel talk?”

“I was going to tell you, I swear I was.” I was chewing my bottom lip and looking back at her while I made my way to the coffee maker. This conversation needed more coffee. More then the 3 cups I had already had this morning. “I had dinner with Steve and Bucky last night. We ordered take-out and watched a couple of action movies.” I paused there taking a sip of the life bringing caffeine enriched fluid.

Jane made a gesture for me to continue with her hands, knowing that the story didn’t end there.

“Anyways,” I set the coffee cup back on my desk and started scrolling through my iPod songs. “Bucky and I have kind of been flirting, and then when I found out him and Cap were a couple I backed off. Bucky didn’t though, and Steve started, and things just progressed slowly. It was really confusing at first, but last night we talked everything through and have decided to start seeing each other.” I looked away from her at the last part, but didn’t miss the way her eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

“So, which one are you seeing?” Jane sounded confused. I knew the feeling and looked at her over the lip of my mug. It was my favourite cup in the world, a gift from Jane after a conference in Vegas. It was blue and the whole thing tilted to the side, it took awhile to get the hang of drinking out of it. On the front it said “I WENT TO VEGAS AND GOT A LITTLE TIPSY”. I had been so happy when it was returned along with the rest of my stuff from Kansas that I had given it a special place on my desk in the lab.

“I’m seeing…” I cleared my throat, “both of them. We are in a relationship together, the three of us. Or at least the beginning of one.”

Jane’s eyes blew wide and she gaped at me.

“So yeah, that’s why I got the shovel talk from Nat.”

“Oh my god Darcy, you are sleeping with Captain America AND the Winter Soldier!” Jane let out a very girly squeal. She didn’t girly squeal often, like, ever.

“Well technically I just made out with both of them last night. I’m not sleeping with anyone.” She laughed at the chagrin in my voice as I made my sad panda face. “I put the brakes on before it could go any further. I want to take things slow, make sure that I can handle everything that they bring to the table, and give them time to make sure that having a third, a woman, in their relationship is something they actually want. They have been together for so long that I want them to make sure this isn’t a passing fancy. I don’t want a casual thing…” I was trying to explain how I was feeling and Jane was nodding along with what I was saying.

“Wow…that’s like…those two…”Jane started fanning herself with her hand and I started laughing.

“Seriously though, you are the one currently sleeping with an actual god.” I smirked at her as her ears reddened.

“Yes, yes I am” she was appropriately smug as I brought up Thor.

The glass doors to the lab slid open and Tony and DUM-EE came strolling in. Tony had some kind of circuit board in his hands and the robot was carrying a toolbox that I recognized as Jane’s.

“Foster,” Tony greeted, nodding at her and turning to me. “Offspring,” he nodded at me.

“To what do we owe this pleasure?” Jane asked, rolling her eyes at Tony.

“I fixed the wiring on the board, it shouldn’t overheat anymore. Cheap stuff, you should just let my replace it all with Stark industries equipment,” he handed the board to Jane and DUM-EE put the tool box on the floor, beeping happily.

“I built most of this stuff from scratch, with scraps Tony. It has worked great for me so far. No need to mess with what already works,” she pouted and clutched the circuitry to her chest.

“So what’s new in the zoo?” Tony asked, picking up my mug and taking a swig.

“Hey!” I cried, grabbing at it and setting it back gently in it's rightful place. “No touchy.”

When Jane is only half engrossed in science, just starting to teeter over the edge into the wormholes she was trying to create, was the best time to try and get information out of her. She wasn’t paying attention, but was still coherent enough to answer questions thrown at her. It was also the worst time to be around her if something was asked that you didn’t want anyone knowing about. She would just blurt out the answer without thinking, paying no attention to whether or not it was something that needed saying.

This was one of those times.

“We were just talking about Darcy sleeping with Steve and Bucky…” Jane muttered under her breath as she wandered to the back of the lab to reattach the board to its machine.

I sucked in a sharp breath and covered my eyes with my finger tips.

“Darcy is…sleeping with Steve AND Bucky?” Tony coughed out, his eyes so wide I thought they may fall out of their sockets. How old was Tony? Old enough to have a heart attack, he wasn’t living the cleanest lifestyle.

“Well, she’s not sleeping with them yet, but they have decided to try a relationship together. All they’ve done is…”

“JANE!” I shrieked, flying off of my seat, totally shocked at the word vomit coming out of Jane’s mouth. Usually that was my bit.

Tony was standing there, totally immobile, staring blankly at me. I knew my cheeks were a horrible shade of red. I could have waited a lot longer than this, possibly forever, before having to experience my first awkward father/daughter moment.

“I’m just going to go, pretend this never happened. Seriously, I could not have been more unprepared for this bit of news. Lets meet back up later, preferably over a lot of scotch” Tony turned and stumbled out of the lab, DUM-EE beeped at me and rolled away following after his creator.

“Ohmygod” I mumbled into my desk where I had done a face plant just a moment earlier. “Awesome, awesome day.”

***

I had received texts from both Steve and Bucky letting me know that they were excited for our date that night. When I asked, they told me hat I should dress however I would for a normal night out.

I was so glad that I didn’t have to dress up; I didn’t think I had it in me to do a dress tonight. Tony had left the R&D floor immediately after our little run in, and I hadn’t seen him since. I had given Jane supreme hell and she was beyond sorry that she had muttered out my secrets in her science induced haze. I figured Tony was either hiding in his room, or getting drunk, maybe both. It must have been a lot easier to joke about my sex life before he knew I was his kid. I was 26; he had to know that I wasn’t a virgin. After everything I knew about his sex life, I should be the one running away and covering my eyes, humming to myself so I couldn’t hear his crude jokes.

I tried to shrug off the morning and get ready for my date.

My date with Steve and Bucky.

My date with Captain America and the Winter Soldier.

Holy fucking shit.

 

Elle Kay was blaring through the speakers in my apartment as I got ready. I was trying to funnel some of her self confidence into myself to take along this evening.

I finished zipping up my boots and checked my hair, cleavage and lipstick in the mirror. The red lipstick was standing out against my dark hair and pale skin. I slipped on my long black cardigan over my red tank and my black leather jacket over that. It was starting to get cold outside and I found the most comfort in layers. My beanie was next, and after checking my reflection one last time at the sound of a knock at the door, I decide to go without it and threw it back into the closet.

Here we go.

My music lowered, “Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are here Darcy, They would like to know if you are ready for their company yet or would like another minute?” the smooth British accent voiced over the intercom.

“I’m ready J, just going to let them in. Fuck, I’m nervous. How do I look?” I asked the AI, even though I knew he really wouldn’t care either way.

“You look very nice miss, may I suggest letting your suitors in, or is this a new American dating custom I am not aware of? Making men wait outside the door while a woman paces nervously inside?”

“Extra sassy tonight I see, J?”

“I have no idea to what you are referring.”

I was laughing as I answered the door, both Steve and Bucky standing there looking way hotter then could possibly be fair.

“Ya ready to go doll?” Bucky offered his arm, while Steve offered me the small bouquet of red Gerber daisies they’d brought.

“Yeah, let's just go in for a minute so I can put these in water. Thank you by the way, they are beautiful.” I hid my blush by leaning over and sniffing the flowers. “My favourite.”

“JARVIS told us,” Steve shrugged.

“Jerk, you didn’t have to tell her that.” Bucky punched Steve’s shoulder.

I laughed, “the thought is there though, and that’s what important.”

I filled a small vase and cut the brown paper and twine off the 6 flowers, placing them in the water and then up on my counter. I was trying to hide my nerves by being very precise in my movements. Nothing escaped their eyes however and they each put a hand on one of my shoulders, stopping my jerky movements.

“It’s alright Darcy, if you aren’t ready for this yet. We can wait.” Steve was being so honest, looking right in my eyes.

“He’s right doll, if you just aren’t feeling it tonight, we can do this another time. We get it, we do. The two of us together, we're a lot.”

I gave a nervous huff and lifted my hands, placing them on theirs on my shoulders.

“The problem isn’t that I’m not feeling it guys, the problem might be that I’m feeling it too much.” I tried a sweet smile and I think I succeeded.

“Right then, let’s go.” It was Steve’s turn to fidget as he rubbed his hands together, Bucky and I followed him out of my place, my arm looped around his elbow.

I took a minute to admire the boys as we walked to the elevator. Steve was in jeans that hugged his ass just right, a blue v-neck that went perfectly with the color of his eyes and stretched deliciously over his pecs. His soft brown leather jacket fit his broad shoulders perfectly and made me want to rub my hands all over him. Bucky was wearing dark blue jeans, baggier than Steve’s and a black long sleeved shirt. I could see the cuff of the cotton shirt at the bottom of the sleeves of his leather jacket. A couple of the buckles jingled as we walked together, his boots and my heels clicking on the floor.

Bucky caught me staring at Steve’s butt and as I blushed dark red as he winked at me. He knew what a fine man Steve Rogers was. I still couldn’t believe they wanted to share each other with me.

As the elevator descended I ran my hands through my hair, hoping my curls were sitting properly.

Steve grabbed my hand half way to my head. “You look beautiful Darcy, stop fidgeting. Its gunna be great.”

The Brooklyn accent that both boys let seep into their everyday speech was going to be the death of me. I swear every time Bucky and Steve twanged it went straight to my groin.

We ended up a diner, one of those ones built out of an old train car. Sitting at the counter along the windows, we were able to watch all the people walking past. The conversation was easy, flowing from topic to topic fluidly.

I had seen how much food the guys could eat, but it still shocked me every time.

Both guys had two double bacon cheese burgers with everything, large fries and a milkshake.

I had a single cheese burger and regular fries. I wasn’t able to finish it all. Steve polished off the rest of my fries and Bucky finished my milkshake.

Steve was wiping his hands on a napkin and collecting all of our garbage onto his tray when Bucky suddenly sat up, pulling the straw from my shake from between his lips.

“Something happened today, that I thought you may be able to explain,” He started, handing the empty cup to Steve.

We both looked at him, my eyebrow raised.

“I was on the common floor today, stealing Bruce’s snacks and Tony came in mumbling to himself about something. I asked him what was up and he just stopped and pointed at me with this crazed look on his face. I spent a lot of time with both Howard and Tony Stark and I can tell you that I have never seen father or son ever look that…completely freaked out.”

“Oh god” I moaned into my hands.

“Darcy, what?” Steve asked, completely amused. He and Tony could get along, but it was more of a mutual respect then it was them actually liking one another. A comrade was your brother; it didn’t matter whether or not you agreed with their life choices. At least that was how Bruce had explained it to me once when I had asked him why Steve and Tony didn’t really seem to get along.

”Tony came down to the labs earlier. Jane and I had just finished talking about you guys, after, might I add, Natasha came in and gave me the shovel talk” I pointed at Buck, he just raised a brow and grinned. “Anyways, Jane got all sciency, not really paying attention to reality, when Tony comes in and asks what we are talking about…” I trailed off, trusting they were smart enough to fill in the blanks. I didn’t overly want top repeat what exactly Jane had said.

Both Bucky and Steve started laughing. Steve had to grasp the counter to keep from falling off his high stool and Bucky had to brush tears from his eyes.

Once they both calmed down, and everyone in the diner stopped staring, except for a couple kids who had realized who Steve was, Bucky finished his story.

“Tony started muttering about refreezing us, and that he felt like he needed a drink. I watched him grab a big ol’ bottle of scotch and head off back down the hall, just shooting daggers at me with his eyes as he went” he was still chuckling.

“At least he only threatened to freeze you guys again. Natasha told me that if I hurt you, I wouldn’t see or hear her coming.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Bucky offered his arm to me again while we watched Steve sign autographs for the little boys who had spotted him.

“No, don’t, it’s okay. I get it. I don’t know what kind of relationship you guys have, but you are important to her, I can totally understand that. I don’t think she will actually murder me…” I reconsidered that.

“I trained Natasha. I was the person who helped train her in the red room.” Bucky said it so quietly that I wasn’t sure I heard. “I was taken off of the assignment because the Winter Soldier got too attached to her.”

“Oh Bucky, I’m so sorry,” we had stopped outside, waiting for Steve to finish up with his fans. I placed both of my hands on his cheeks and made him look into my eyes. “You are a good person; even then, even when you were him, you cared about her. Relationships are developed all kinds of way. She doesn’t hold it against you.”

I didn’t know if I was saying the right things. This heavy topic was unexpected after the easy flow of our previous conversations.

I pressed a soft kiss to his lips and he gave me a half hearted smile.

“Everything okay?” Steve was at our sides now and was trying to understand what was happening.

“Yeah, were okay. Just talking about Tasha.” Bucky was shaking off the sadness.

“Where to next boys?” The diner had been fun and unexpected. I liked how casual it was. It took a lot of the pressure off.

Steve draped his arm over my shoulders and Bucky took my right hand in his left hand. He hadn’t worn a glove, so the metal was cold, sending a chill up my arm. Again thoughts of what he could do to me with those icy fingers flooded my brain and I hid my cheeks behind the high collar of my coat.

“We thought a drink maybe? Then we could go back to the tower, watch a movie, or whatever you want.” They were leaving the conclusion to our evening totally up to me. I had promised myself I wouldn’t sleep with them. That didn’t mean we couldn’t do other things however and the thought made me wrap my fingers tighter around Bucky’s.

“A drink sounds good.”

“We have this place we usually go too, quiet; Steve doesn’t get bugged there too often. Thought you might like it too.” Bucky squeezed my hand back.

The rest of the walk was quiet, the three of us just spending this time together. I liked that we didn’t feel the need to fill the silences with chatter.

The bar was so small that if the guys hadn’t shown me where it was, I never would have even noticed it. It was dark inside, booths down one side and a bar down the other of the narrow establishment. At the back was a pool table and a couple VLT’s. There were few people inside, just one couple and a couple guys, sitting alone at the bar itself.

Just as we were entering the bar, Steve’s phone rang. He checked the screen and apologized, saying he had to answer it, staying outside the doors. Bucky told me to choose a seat; he needed to visit the little boy’s room. Well, not in those exact words.

I set my jacket on the seat of a booth and went to the bar to grab us some drinks. Steve and Bucky always drank beer, they couldn’t get drunk but they liked the taste of it. I ordered a rum and coke and stood quietly waiting for the bartender to grab our drinks.

One of the single guys seated at the bar looked over at me; I looked away, paying attention to the labels on the bottles behind the bar.

“Hi there darlin’” the drunk sidled up to me. He smelled like stale beer and smoke and I took a step away.

“Hi, let me just grab my drinks and I’ll get out of your way.” I shifted uncomfortably.

“No need for that, why don’t you just bring your pretty little self on over and sit next to me?” he leered at my breasts.

“I’m actually here with someone.”

“I saw the guy you came in with, left ya here to get the drinks. I wouldn’t leave a lady such as yourself alone and get her to pay for my drinks”

“You have a nice night sir,” the bartender had finished and set my beers and drink in front of me. His lips were pierced; if Steve and Buck came here often then he knew who I was here with.

I grabbed the two beers by the necks in one hand, my drink in the other and turned to leave. I could see Bucky coming around the pool table at the back of the bar.

“You are not being very polite, when a man offers you his company; you should be smart enough to accept it.” The foul smelling beast grabbed my arm right above the elbow. My drink sloshed over the sides as he gave me a bit of a tug.

“Can I help you with something?” Bucky was beside me, a cold look in his eyes.

“Just teaching your woman some manners” he sneered.

“I’m about to teach you some manners, Why don’t you get your hand off my girl, before I make you move it.” Bucky growled out from between his teeth, his accent totally gone, speech clear and sounding like death. He looked absolutely terrifying.

“What’s going on?” Steve had joined the party now. The guy still had his hand on my arm, squeezing it through my sweater.

“I was just explaining to this guy how it would be in his best interests to let our girl go, before I rip off his arm and beat him with it” I watched Bucky push up the sleeves of his shirt. His metal arm catching what bit of light the few lamps were throwing off. The bicep on his flesh and blood arm rolling under the cotton.

I was getting way more turned on by this then I should have been. Male posturing usually didn't do it for me, but watching these two defend my honour was really turning my crank. This guy was in serious trouble but was probably too drunk to realize it.

I was thankful when realization donned on his face as he took in the whirring plates on Buck’s metal arm.

“Just back off buddy, okay. The lady said no.” Steve took the drinks from me and put his body between me and the stinky guy as soon as he lowered his hand.

“Yeah, sure guy, sorry.” He muttered, his eyes still wide, truly taking in the size of the two men I was with. He had to recognize Steve. A few people were able to piece together who Bucky was, but when he fought with the Avengers he was always in a mask and his sniper skills were utilized the most, from cover. I mean what were the odds of two enhanced super soldiers from the 40's right? 

“C’mon Darce, lets sit down,” Bucky said into my ear, moving me toward the table by the small of my back. Steve waited to step off until he was sure the guy was going to stay seated and Bucky had me between him and the wall in the booth.

“You okay Darcy?” Steve asked after he sat down, having bought me a fresh drink.

I kind of giggled, “That’s not the first time I have had unwanted attention at a bar. I mean, it doesn’t happen often, but I could have taken care of it if I had too.” I reached into my purse and pulled my trusty tazer out.

Steve’s eyes grew wide and Bucky bust out laughing. His hand moved from the neck of his beer bottle to my thigh, squeezing it gently. I felt him slide his hand up a little and I shivered.

“That was seriously…” I was angry at the breathy quality to my voice. “Hot.”

Steve sucked in a breath, figuring out what his boyfriend was doing and Bucky cocked a smile at me.

“I didn’t like seein’ his hand on ya. It made me mad, thinkin’ he could just touch ya like that.” Steve nodded as Bucky spoke.

“We aren’t used to the territorial thing,” Steve started. “When we go out, no one tries to come on to me or Buck. Well once in awhile a brave woman will come up and try to strike up a conversation but for the most part when one of us says we aren’t interested, that’s it. I didn’t like him thinking that that kind of behaviour was okay. That he could put his hands on you and pull on you like that even though you were obviously here with us.”

“You guys are sweet. I wish I could tell you that 40’s chivalry still existed; a lot of guys think its okay to act like that. I never stand for it, but some of women like that.

The guy kept throwing looks over his shoulder at us and I was starting to get uncomfortable.

“You want ta just go?” Bucky asked

“Yeah, is that okay?”

“Sure doll, whatever you want.”

Steve went to the counter and paid for our drinks as we left them mostly untouched.

It was cold outside and I shivered. Bucky placed his coat over my shoulders and I breathed in the scent of his cologne and Steve’s, both present on the coat. An image of them kissing, arms wrapped around each other, before they came to get me tonight made me rub my thighs together. The idea of watching them kiss and touch each other made me suck in a breath. Steve and Bucky were both watching my face as I went towards Steve, bringing my arms up around his shoulders for a hug as I buried my face in his neck. Between the idea of them being together and the way they had both defended me against Stinky McStinkerson in there, I was all keyed up.

“Let’s go home guys” Bucky must have hailed a cab, because one was waiting at the curb for us. I was very reluctant to let go of Steve. I had never been made to feel so wanting before. The confidence that they had in each other, in their relationship, and the ease in which this night had gone made me want them like nothing else. I had been able to notice the casual way they touched each other, gently clasping hands, or brushing up against each other. The way one would shoot the other a look of pure lust with only the simplest of body contact made my core clench.

“C’mon sweetheart, lets get you out of the cold and back to the tower.” Steve brushed his nose along mine when I finally moved it from his neck.

Feeling like this, wanting them so badly, brought on feelings of vulnerability. I wasn’t completely comfortable with that.

The cab ride home was warm, with me squeezed between the two big guys, half in Steve’s lap. Bucky had his hand on my thigh again and kept shooting me looks from under his dark lashes.

The sexual tension was becoming a physical presence by the time we made it all the way to the tower. We all climbed out of the back after I threw a few bills over the seat for the cabby, ignoring the guy’s protests. Steve half lifted me from the back, closing his arms around me briefly before following Bucky through the doors of the tower, nodding at the guards before heading into the elevator.

“Welcome home. Where would you like to go?” JARVIS asked once the doors closed.

“My floor please.” Both boys’ eyes went from each other to my face.

“Of course.”

“Walk me to my door boys?” I asked, trying to make my intentions clear.

“Sure doll, whatever you want.” Bucky was facing Steve and me as we leaned against the back wall. The elevator started to climb and Bucky started moving closer, lust written on his face.

Steve reached for my hand at the same moment Bucky pushed Steve against the wall with his entire body. His mouth crashed down on Steve’s and Steve let out a moan. I was so close to Steve that I could feel the hard line of Bucky’s body pressed to my side. Each guy had an arm wrapped around the other, Bucky’s other arm went around my side as I stared completely unashamed at them as they made out. Every once in awhile I could see their tongues swirling together and my pulse increased along with the wetness between my legs.

When the doors opened, the boys stopped. Bucky taking a step back, pulling the elastic from his hair and reaching around to pull the brown strands up again.

Steve was breathing hard next to me, the grip he had on my hand bordering on painful. He pulled my hand along with him as he exited the elevator. Bucky was standing just outside the door, a look of cocky confidence on his lips as he finished tying up his hair.

“You bastard” Steve laughed.

“C’mon Stevie, you know you wanted to show our girl what she could have if she wanted. What she could watch all she wanted to if she chose…”

My door was just ahead, and I was going to follow through with the promise I made to myself earlier in the day that I wouldn’t go to bed with them tonight. But if Bucky wanted to show me a thing or two, play games, then I could do that too.

“Tonight was a lot of fun guys, I definitely want to do this again, soon” I stressed.

Steve and Bucky were just standing, watching me place my thumb on the key pad to my room. I turned the knob and left the door open a crack.

I turned and walked over to Steve, shaking my hips a little more than necessary “Thanks Stevie, I had a really good time.” I reached up, going up on my tippy toes and put one hand around his neck, the other on his shoulder under the collar of his jacket. I pulled him down, pulling his lips to mine. My tongue pushed against his lips and he let it in, opening his mouth and breathing me in. Pleasure chills ran up and down my back as his arms wrapped around me and started their decent down my sides, to my hips. My hand left his neck, now that I had him down at my height and both hands started down his arms, sliding the jacket off his shoulders. My hands moved to his chest and onto his pecs, the palm of one hand rubbing at his nipple through the thin cotton of his shirt.

Steve breathily moaned my name, pulling my closer to him, up off my feet. His mouth left mine and went to my neck, sliding his tongue up the side, sucking at little points as he went. I turned my eyes to Bucky, looking right at him. I wanted him to be watching us, and he was. His eyes looked black, his pupils completely blown wide with lust.

I wanted them both; I wanted them so badly that I was starting to ache. It wasn’t the kind of ache that B.O.B. could help with.

Steve finally stopped kissing my neck; he just buried his face in my hair. I could hear him taking deep breaths, calming himself behind the dark curtain.

“I know what you just did, and can I just say, challenge accepted.” Bucky said from between gritted teeth. The bulge obvious, even in his baggy jeans.

“I’m pretty sure that I just got used in some way, but I don’t think I am going to complain” Steve stood up to his full height, setting me down gently, one hand going to lace his fingers with Bucky’s metal ones.

“The joke is really on me guys. You get to go home together; I get to go to bed by myself.” I made my sad face and both boys smiled.

“You could come with us?” Bucky asked, not in a cocky way, but in a way that made me know that they wouldn’t judge me for going home with them after our second date.

“Not tonight Buck. This was…” there weren’t words

“We will come by the lab and see you tomorrow Darce, after the gym okay.” Bucky stepped forward.

“I’d really like that.” I went up on my toes again, pressing a passionate kiss to his lips. “Night fellas” I gave a little wave as I stepped out of their embrace and went inside, gently closing the door behind me.

I took a minute in the dark and silence of my room to catch my breath, let my brain catch up with the night I’d had when I heard a door close loudly out in the hall.

“Captain, Sergeant, it is good to see you this eve. Are you here to further your courtship of Lady Darcy?” Thor’s voice boomed.

All I could do was giggle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your kindness. I'm really enjoying writing this. Won't be anything until next week now.
> 
> I don't own any of these amazing characters.


	9. Girl's Night

The days had a way of getting away from you in the tower. I wasn’t even sure what day it was when I woke up in the morning, it didn’t matter anyways. Jane didn’t keep Monday to Friday, 9-5 hours. I was almost guaranteed to find Jane in the lab even on weekends. She would only be doing non science things if I put her to bed or Thor was on planet. I knew he was, but I also knew there would be science things for me to transcribe or upload to Stark servers, or pass along to SHEILD.

I spent extra time in the scalding water of my shower, with images of super soldiers dancing in my head. I had never been this sexually frustrated in my life, and part of me cursed their ridiculous sexiness. A larger part of me was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that they wanted me and things were going so gosh darn well.

I finished getting ready in a daze, deciding on comfy tights and a long shirt, my hair knotted on top of my head.

Coffee was a must before slipping on my giant dino feet slippers and popping in my ear buds. 

“To the bat cave JARVIS” I instructed once in the elevator.

“Wrong universe Darcy” the AI replied.

“Huh?” I was trying to concentrate on the precarious stack I had under my arm of granola bars and yogurt.

“Nothing of importance Miss, can I assume you meant Miss Foster’s lab?”

“Please J. Is Jane down there?” I was now confident I wouldn’t drop anything.

“Yes she is, and your arrival will be at a most fortuitous time. Sir and Miss Foster seem to be having a disagreement that is growing quite heated” JARVIS let me know in his calm, British way. He wouldn’t have told me unless someone needed to step in.

Oh good, I got to be the mediator between my boss and my father. Super.

I could hear Jane yelling the minute the elevator doors opened and Stark’s voice followed quickly behind. I strode into the lab, going completely unnoticed by either scientist, and dumped my shit on my desk. Taking a minute, I stood back and listened to the angry words being tossed around so I could try and understand the jest of the conflict. I felt like a play school teacher. I just wanted to tell them they were both smart, both had valid hypotheses, and maybe it was nap time.

The argument was as old as time with these two. Jane had asked Tony to repair a part of one of her machines, he had agreed, but only if she would switch the components to Stark Industries technology. Jane had built most of these machines by hand and was very, very protective of them. She didn’t like things to be altered or changed, just fixed, and as simply as possible.

“The functionality would improve 10 fold Foster; you have to see the benefits of something like that. Hell, I would replace the entire damn machine if I knew you wouldn’t try and find a way to kill me in my sleep.” Tony was about 2 feet from Jane, and wasn’t yelling as loud as her, but neither of them heard me clear my throat and say “guys”.

“My machines worked just fine before, and they will work just fine after a simple mix. They do not need a bunch of Stark Industries garbage messing around in their systems. Honestly, look at DUM-EE! He is not a shining advertisement for what the great Tony Stark in capable of.” Jane shot back, a lot louder and an octave higher.

That was a low blow. It was time to take drastic action.

I shoved my fingers between my lips and blew hard, letting out an ear piercing whistle that had them both turning their heads to look at me.

Both had flushed cheeks and wide eyes having been totally unaware that someone else was even in the lab with them.

“Tony, Jane is right. Her machine worked perfectly fine. Things wear out, they break, it happens. Just because one tiny wire shorts out and she asks you to fix it does not mean you need to, or are entitled to replace half of the machine with your own parts.” I stood with a finger pointed at Tony, then turned so that I could let Jane have hers. “I think there is room for compromise here Janey, seriously. Stark does not need to pull crap out of the trash to fix your, whatever this is, he can replace ONLY,” I emphasised the word. “What needs replacing with Stark Industries materials. He does not need to rip the entire thing apart. It will last longer overall and give us all a bigger break before we end up having this exact same argument all over again!”

They both stared at me like chastised children who wanted to start getting lippy again. Tony started to open his mouth, “ah, nope. No you don’t. That is enough.” I held up my finger in a pinchy gesture, hoping he would understand that meant keep your mouth shut.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “I don’t know how I didn’t pick up on you being my offspring before…” holding the machine part in his hand he turned and shuffled from the room.

Jane still had the look of a petulant child on her face.

“When was the last time you ate?” Thor was pretty good and making sure she was fed, and watered. Sometime however, other more amorous activities got in the way of things like eating and sleeping.

“I ate last night Darcy” Jane was still pouting.

“Eat this then,” I handed her my yogurt. “And let’s get back to work. Forget Stark was in here. I am sure you have science that needs sciencing and I have Jane science that needs to be turned into translated science so others can understand it.”

She grumbled but fetched a spoon from the tiny kitchenette in the lab and started shovelling the yogurt into her yap.

I decided now was as good a time as any to catch up on some of my online bill payments before settling in with some good tunes and actual work. I paid my cell phone bill first, then my credit card. Next was my awesome monthly student loan payment. I logged into my student account and went to the registrars page, typing in my account number. A few minutes passed with me just staring at the screen before my brain caught up with my eyes. My student loan balance was $0. I reread it again for the 50th time. Amount owing: $0.00. I checked the name on the account again, Darcy Lewis. I still owed thousands of dollars as of last month when I had logged in to make my monthly payment. That loan was going to dog me for most of my adult life, of that I had been sure.

Tony.

It clicked. Tony found out I was his daughter and suddenly thousands of dollars of student debt disappeared. Tony must have had JARVIS track my account and pay it off. I suddenly wondered if I had even needed to pay my cell and credit card bills. I hadn’t looked at the balance, just paid them through my banks online site.

I got up from my desk and left our lab and stormed down the hall. I was regretting my choice in footwear now. Giant dinosaur feet didn’t exactly say “take me seriously”.

“JARVIS, were you a part of this?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“I do not know to what you are referring,” the prim English voice responded.

“I thought we were tighter then this JARVIS.”

I saw Tony, welding something at a table in his lab. I typed in the code to the door a lot rougher then I needed too and headed swiftly into the room. He finished whatever the hell he was doing and lifted his mask, the music was loud and I hissed at J to cut it off.

Tony turned to look at whoever had interrupted his tunes, “Offspring, what brings you to my part of level genius?”

“Did you pay off my student loans?” I tried to keep the malice out of my voice, not really sure what I was really mad about. Whatever is was; it felt like a violation.

“Of course I did. I also had J pay off your credit card debt, your car loan and your cell phone is taken care of indefinitely,” he said, like it was not big deal. “Sweet dino feet by the way, ferocious.”

“You didn’t need to do that. I can pay for my own way. I have always paid my own way.” My shock was taking the bite out of my words.

“At no point did I think you needed me to do this. I did it because I wanted too and because I can. You are a Stark; you do not need to be struggling to pay off a 15,000 dollar car for 5 years. And you defiantly don’t need the weight of a student loan hanging over you.” He was screwing with something on his table and I was starting to get the hot, angry wind back beneath my wings. I wanted his full attention.

“I know you can Tony, I get that you’ve never had to worry about money. I have always had to worry about money. But I was doing it; I was handling it all by myself.

“Look kid,” he turned now and faced me, throwing his welding mask down and stepping toward me. “I didn’t know I had any children. I always figured that if I did they were better off not knowing about me. I never had the best relationship with Howard, and we all know how the things with Obie turned out. I am no good at this. I don’t know what the hell I'm doing. Paying off your debt though, that’s something that I can do. I can’t give you back your childhood, but I can make your life as an adult a little easier. I did this for me okay, not for you. Can you just let this one slide, please?”

If someone had told me that Tony Stark had puppy dog eyes I wouldn’t have believed them, but he did. 

Good ones.

I stammered for a minute, not prepared to feel bad when I had stormed in here.

“Sure Tony. Thank you. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. I just don’t want you, or anyone thinking that I asked you for this.” I looked back up at him, he wasn’t very tall, but I was still shorter then him.

“No one knows, okay kid. The only people in on this are Pep and JARVIS and if you don’t want to tell anyone else, hey, that’s your business.” Tony put his grease stained hand on my shoulder. I could feel this turning into a hug.

“I just… I’m not used to this.”

“I know kid, neither am I,” he came a little closer and pulled me into a hug.

I relaxed into him, my earlier anger forgotten. The reality of not having all that debt hanging over my head was getting to me and I could feel myself tearing up.

This was my dad. I was hugging my dad.

“Are ya getting soft on me Stark?” I breathed out a small laugh.

“Maybe, but don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold.” He stepped back from the hug.

I laughed again and tried to discreetly wipe my eyes.

“Now if we could only talk about your choice in men after this touching father daughter moment…”

“Wow, we are so not there!” I laughed at him as I fled the lab.

I thought about everything that was happening right now on my short jaunt back to Jane’s lab. I needed fun, not serious. I need the opposite of thinking, non-thinking. Girl’s night was exactly what needed to happen. Now my dino feet had purpose so I picked up the pace and burst through our door.

“You aren’t working late today boss lady, we’re having a girl’s night” I announced.

She looked up from a microscope and grimaced at me. Three pens were sticking up out of her pony tail, left there after grabbing a new one after loosing the first.

“Not today, I still need to do some final calibrations to the new machine to correspond with the last set of readings we received and Coulson needs to have that report in his inbox by morning.” She was fishing and she knew it. All of those excuses were for things that would keep. Coulson would never comment on a report that was late less then twenty four hours and the calibration was an easy fix that could be done in house in the morning. This was happening.

“Don’t even try it Janey, you and I both know that’s a load of bull and when was the last time we even did a girls night?” I was trying to think and it had been at the beginning of my last visit to the tower, which was over six months ago. That was a long time. “Now the real question is what kind of girl’s night? Do we veg out in our jammies and watch old movies here or do we get dressed up and go out?”

Jane stared at me from across the room. She had discovered the pens in her hair and was pulling them out one at a time. She did not look impressed; I couldn’t tell if it was because she knew I would win and we would be doing something, or because she had pulled out a chunk of hair with one of the pens.

“It’s only because I love you that I am agreeing to this, you do realize that right?”

“I know,” I gave her a prissy smile. “So what do you want to do tonight then?”

“I don’t think I want to go out, can we just hang out here?” Jane asked, but I knew that look.

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind a good, bad 80’s movie girl’s night. But no StarkPads, no sciencing. Rule number 1.” I knew I had foiled her plans as soon as I watched the calculating look on her face fall.

“Darce, come on, if we are here then it’s not hurting anything.” She wined pathetically.

“Nope, no science, just junk food, bad movies and jammies.” I was insistent. I needed to hang out with girls, and only girls, no Steve and Bucky, no Tony.

“Fine, what time do you want to do this thing?”

I looked at the clock on the wall, it was only 11:45, still lots of time to plan things. And I needed to ask Nat and Maria if they wanted to join. Natasha sometime would, Maria never ever did. I thought about asking Pepper. I liked her well enough, but would that be weird now? I mean, what was she to me now?

Stop!

The reason I wanted to do the girl’s night was to stop thinking and here I was, still in the planning phase and I was totally over complicating things. Pepper was a girl, a girl that I liked. She would absolutely be invited to girl’s night.

“JARVIS can you please inform Maria, Natasha and Pepper that I’m doing a girls night at my place tonight, around 6 pm?”

“Is there a dress code I need to inform them of for such an event?”

“Well, I’ll be wearing my Captain America onesie (which was totally weird now, but I still loved it); the other girls can wear whatever they want.”

“I will inform them, and let you know who plans to attend. Should I call in your standing order for pizza?”

“You are almost the perfect guy J, do you know that?”

“I do know that, but it is always nice to hear.”

Jane was glaring at me from across the lab, not enjoying the fact that she was no longer in control of her evening.

“You always have fun when we hang out and you know it,” I stuck my tongue out at her.  
*****

The rest of the day passed quickly. I finished the report for Coulson and made a show of telling Jane that it had been done and sent.

Bucky came to visit me once, bringing me down coffee and a cinnamon bun from the communal kitchen. We visited for a few minutes and I walked with him to the elevator. He seemed disappointed that I would be unavailable tonight, but got his revenge by hinting at things that he and Steve could do without me. I really tried not to think about it to hard. The kiss he gave me before the elevator arrived quickly turned into something a lot more heated. Tony chose that moment to head down the hall and the horrified look on his face was completely epic.

“Did you get that JARVIS?” I asked after Bucky left.

“Why yes I did Miss, a picture of the look on Sirs face has already been sent to your inbox. Enjoy.”

“I retract be previous statement, you are the perfect guy.”

 

By 6 pm I had been told that Natasha and Pepper would be attending tonight, but Maria had declined my offer.

I was all ready for girl’s night when there was a knock at my door. I knew it would be Jane because I could hear Thor telling her to enjoy her female bonding experience from all the way down the hall. That guy was seriously cute. I had laid out snack and extra pillows, dragged out my nail polish and JARVIS had called in for pizza. I didn’t know if we would end up watching movies or not, but we could decide that later. I felt like I was putting way to much thought into this, but hey, it would be fun.

I opened my door and was happy to see Jane and Pepper. Natasha was just getting off the elevator, holding a bottle of tequila and carrying a shopping bag. Suddenly this night was looking even better.

Jane was wearing fuzzy jammie pants and a T-shirt. Pepper was in tights and a baggy sweater. Nat was in black yoga pants and a black shirt I had gotten her as a joke, it said “You wont like me when I’m angry” and had a picture of a big green first on it. We had both gotten a good laugh out of it, Bruce had not been impressed.

“Thanks for inviting me Darcy” Pepper said as she came in, she looked so sincere that I almost hugged her.

“Okay ladies, I can only do girl talk and shit if I am liquored up. I brought stuff for margaritas. Darce, where is your blender?” Natasha pushed her way in and plopped the heavy bag on the counter.

I pointed to a cupboard door and she set to work. The rest of us made ourselves comfortable on the couch. Music from my Girl Power playlist started quietly in the background, thank you J, as Jane and Pepper started to discuss some new science thing that her and Tony said could be revolutionary.

“No work!” I barked over the sound of the blender, sticking my tongue out at them. Jane returned the gesture and Pepper just smirked at me. 

Natasha was quick and efficient at preparing her alcohol and when I looked over she had just finished sugaring the rims of the glasses before adding the limey goodness to the inside.

A few sips in conversation started flowing, and I started to relax. It felt normal, something that didn’t happen much around here.

“So if Tony is your dad, and Pepper is his fiancé, does that make her your step-mom?” Jane asked half way through her second margarita.

I gracefully spit my mouthful out in shock and Pepper chocked on hers when she tried to cover a laugh.

“I’m not really sure what my parental designation would be in a situation like this, but I enjoy being Darcy’s friend. I would like to get to know her better, I would really like for Tony to get to know her better. I feel like we are all a big family though, this just cements those feelings. We are really looking to Darcy to take the lead on this one.” Pepper took another drink as Jane and Nat nodded to themselves, satisfied with her answer. That’s when they turned to look at me, waiting to hear what I had to say on the matter.

After I finished mopping up the margarita off my pants and the table top I turned to meet there eyes, the alcohol making me feel a lot more certain of what I was about to say then I actually was.

“I have gotten so much more out of this then I thought I would. I mean, it started out as an internship for crying out loud. And now look, I am living in Avengers tower after surviving New Mexico and London. I have better friends, who are more like family, then I could ever ask for. I like you Pepper, a lot. I mean shit; you are Pepper Potts, corporate badass, who wouldn’t want to be part of your family.” She started laughing and I could feel my cheeks turning red. Maybe I should stop at 3 drinks.

“Today I found out that Tony not only paid off my student loans but my car, credit cards and I will no longer have a cell phone payment!” Jane just started laughing; Natasha raised her eyebrow, but didn’t look surprised. He had bought her a car as payment on a bet he lost a year ago. “I know he is trying to make up for lost time the only way he knows how, trying to alleviate some of the stress I’m carrying. I just really wish that he would have discussed it with me first.”

“He didn’t discuss it with you because you absolutely would’ve said no,” Jane said while pouring her third. Nat got up to make more, nodding her head.

“He was supposed to discuss it with you, he told me he would. I’m not really surprised that he didn’t though.” Pepper knew all about it, Tony had said.

“Enjoy it Darcy, seriously, being a poor scientist is totally underrated. Being a poor scientist wrangler would be even worse.” Jane was probably right. I wasn’t going to garner any sympathy for finding out I was a Stark and having my financial situation taken care of.

“I know for a fact that there’s a black credit card in the mail with your name on it too. Just try and accept it with as little confrontation as possible, make the crazy guy happy.” Pepper voiced, smiling over the rim of her glass. I could tell she was actually asking me to accept it with a little more diplomacy than I did the earlier payments. I would do it, for her.

“I don’t really want to hear about your money issues, or lack there of. What I want to hear about is what the hell is going on with you and the Time Warp Twins?” Jane was totally throwing me under the bus right now, the bitch. She was going to hear about this later.

Natasha and Pepper both looked at me then, both with wide inquiring eyes. I knew that Bucky and Nat had a history, I wasn’t sure what it was, but I knew they were close. I hadn’t really told Jane all that much, not really sure where to begin. Pepper, well, I didn’t even know how to handle talking about this in front of her.

I downed the rest of my drink and poured another. Each pitcher was getting stronger and stronger. That was good.

I straightened my onesie and smirked at them, a blush crawling up from my neck and onto my cheeks.

“What exactly do you want to know?” I asked, but thankfully was saved by the bell. My cell started to ring from its place in the pouch on the front of my jammies.

I whipped it out and answered it, without bothering to check the ID, just wanting a way out of this conversation.

“Hello?” I answered with my glass in my mouth.

A breathless British accent came over the other end, “Darcy, its Ian, please don’t hang up!”

“No boys allowed, girl’s night” I mumbled into the phone, half drunk and too shocked to think of anything bright to say.

“Are you sloshed?” he asked, sounding angry.

“Yes, I am. And you gave up any right to pass judgement on me or my actions when you slept with another woman and hit me. Is there some specific reason you are calling?” I was mega annoyed now. Seriously, I really needed to start checking my ID before I answered my phone.

All conversation had stopped around me and the girls were all just watching me. Natasha looked murderous. I liked that shit.

“I wanted to ask if you were the one messing with my work visa and to ask you to stop? Well, beg you to stop really. You have made your point, I am sorry for whatever happened between us and for my role in it.”

“Your role in it? Your role in it! I will take 12 percent of the blame on this one buddy. And I have done nothing to mess with your stupid visa. The only thing I've ever done with your visa is help you get it, an action I deeply regret. I don’t care if you continue to work in the States, just so long as it isn’t in the same state I’m in. Now forget this number and shove your phone up your ass.” I hit the end button on my phone, suddenly missing the ability to slam a receiver down on the cradle when you hung up on someone, or even the ability to snap a flip phone closed with force.

The room was totally silent, except for a song playing softly in the background. I finished my drink and poured another, emptying the pitcher.

“Ian thinks that I am doing something to mess with his work visa. He wanted to say sorry for his role in what happened.”

“Have you been?” Jane asked.

“NO!”

“I was just wondering.”

“What a fucking asshole. Willing to say sorry! I’m sure he feels really fucking sorry!” The alcohol was giving me the mouth of a sailor. I wasn’t even sure what drink I was on, but whatever number it was, they were strong and I was drunk.

“He is probably just looking for someone to blame for his misfortune. What did I tell you before, karma.” Natasha said smugly, producing a bottle of vodka out of no where and handing out shot glasses.

“Nat is right Darcy, he just looking for someone to dump his troubles on. Don’t worry about it. Do you want me to have his number blocked from calling your phone?” Pepper took her shot glass from Natasha.

“Oh my god,” Jane looked at the clear liquid like it was the devil. She was a total lightweight, not that I wasn’t. I could still drink more than her though.

My first shot was a painful memory burning its way down my throat before Nat even had her own poured.

“Don’t let him get to you. He’s a big dumb jerk. You’ve left him and all that behind. You are on to bigger and better things, 2 bigger and better things. You were just about to tell us about them too, so let’s worry about Ian another time, okay.” Jane was trying to help, I knew that.

Somewhere between 5 and 6 margaritas and 2 shots of vodka down I was ready to talk about Bucky and Steve.

“They are amazing,” I hiccupped. “And beautiful and caring. I feel so small sometimes, when I am around them, the love they share for each other.” Jane and Pepper both waved away another shot but Natasha and I did one together.

“Steve is so caring, the way he worries about both Bucky and I. And Bucky, I think I was the most surprised by him. I expected some dark tortured soul, and maybe he is, maybe I haven’t seen that yet. But he is so confident; he is so sure about him place next to Steve, here in the tower with you guys. And he is so damn smooth.” My words were starting to blur together. Jane would tell me later that she had signalled to Nat to cut me off.

“The way Bucky looks at me, its all heat, makes my blood boil under my skin. Steve looks at me like I am the only girl in the world, like he wouldn’t hesitate to take a bullet for me,” another hiccup. “Honestly it scares me.”

“Scares you? Sounds amazing to me.” Jane said from her nest of pillows on the smaller of my two couches.

“Thor looks at you like that” Pepper pointed out. “Tony looks at me like that too. After Extremis, after all of that,” Pepper swallowed. “He didn’t let me out of his sight for weeks. Was prepared to throw himself in front of me at the slightest sound, at the smallest perceived threat. At the beginning it was sweet, but it got old fast. I love him, but it was a lot to take.”

“I don’t even mean it like that,” I wasn’t explaining myself very well. “It scares me because they feel so much; they are willing to go all in with this thing, this thing with the three of us. I’m just worried about what will happen when they get bored with me?”

Jane and Pepper started shaking their heads, but it was Natasha who spoke up first.

“I have known James for most of my life. I won’t bore you ladies with the details. And Steve and I have fought together, sacrificed for each other so many times that I feel qualified to say I know him. Both of those men, they do not go into something, a plan, a fight, a debriefing, without knowing exactly what they are doing. They wouldn’t have pursued you if they didn’t want you to be a part of their relationship. Neither soldier does anything without being 100 percent sure of what they want. I am not saying the outcome is always how they would like it, but they know what they want, and they don’t mess around when they have an opportunity to have it.”

I stared at Natasha, my brain getting cloudier by the minute. She could hold her alcohol so much better than I could, damn Russian spy.

“They have been together for so long, are so sure of each other. Then there’s me, and for whatever reason they’ve both decided they want me. Between things with Ian, feeling so lost, and trying to find where I belong in a relationship that has survived death multiple times, I have never felt so insignificant.” There I said it. It was out. It felt amazing to finally say it.

“You may be a lot of things, Darcy Lewis Stark, but you are not insignificant!” Jane exclaimed.

“Hey now, I am not a Stark!” I tried to stand up, but tipped sideways into the couch cushions.

“You are defiantly a Stark,” Pepper started giggling, her fingers over her mouth.

“I have seen Tony pull off that exact dance move before,” Natasha smirked at me.

Jane just sat giggling on the couch.

They were all ganging up on me. I was doomed.

“He can hold a little more liquor then you though,” Natasha piped in again.

“Great! When did this night become pick on Darc night?” I whined.

“I don’t know what you expected. Inviting us over, plying us with alcohol, and trying to be all coy about dating two of the hottest guys on the planet at the same time. Nope, this had to happen.”

“You want to talk Jane? Let’s talk about your boyfriend! He is an actual god, what I’m curious about is his…big hammer?” I started laughing before the question was all the way out.

Jane’s face turned bright red as we all stared at her, expecting an answer.

Pepper was laughing too, Natasha was full out smiling, which was pretty close to a belly laugh for her, and I was almost in a heap on the floor.

“And you!” I pointed at the red headed Russian. “The Hulk, that’s got to be um, interesting?” the drinks had made me bold, but the look on the Black Widows face started to sober my up pretty quick.

The laughing stopped and we all stared at Nat, wondering if I had crossed a line.

“She has got a point Natasha,” Jane spoke up, just happy the attention wasn’t on her anymore. “Bruce seems so wound; I’ve always heard those kind of guys are dynamite in the sac?”

The tension left the room when Natasha smiled again. “I can tell you ladies one thing for sure. When a man is that tightly wound, that in control of himself, had that much anger buried so deep, his stamina is amazing” she tossed back another shot with an arrogant smirk.

“What about you Pepper?” Jane asked.

“Nope, uh uh, no freaking way. I will listen to a lot of things, but will absolutely not hear anything about my father’s sex life. Sorry Pepper.” I was gesturing madly with my arms at this point,

She was laughing again, one arm wrapped around her middle.

“Oh I guess hey,” Jane looked a little sheepish.

Natasha was actually laughing now.

“May I advise that you have a drink of water before you continue your festivities Darcy?” JARVIS spoke from my ceiling, startling my drunken ass.

“Sure J, whatever you say,” I mumbled from my spot on the floor, where I had finally slid off the couch to. 

My phone starting dinging in my pocket again.

I pulled it out and swiped the screen, trying to get my eyes to focus enough to read the text from Steve.

We hope you are having a great night. Don’t drink too much, Natasha told me she had plans for tonight. We will be by to take you to breakfast in the morning. Buck and I are just getting into bed, thinking of you, have fun.

I stared at the text. They were just getting into bed? I didn’t know if that was meant to be a tease or not, but it felt like it was. Taking me out for breakfast in the morning?

“Whatever you do guys, don’t let me leave this room. And remind me to take a couple aspirin before bed okay?”

The three girls nodded, Jane laughing at me.

Getting into bed together? Maybe I needed to drink until I passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long guys. My trip to TO was successful and I am definitely pregnant. I did this chapter between waves of morning sickness. It isn't perfect, I'll do corrections soon. Thanks for hanging in with me. Smut coming soon. I promise.


	10. Finally.

I woke up feeling way better then I deserved. My head was throbbing a little as I rolled over in bed. My mouth felt like I had been sucking on a napkin, it was so dry my throat hurt. I didn’t feel like I was going to puke though. I really needed to thank Natasha and Jane for shoving water down my throat, and I was pretty sure there was aspirin involved before I was poured into bed.

I sat up slowly, not totally confident in my lack of hangover. I should feel way worse. Thankfully though, my bedroom didn’t start spinning, the snacks from last night stayed in my stomach.

I got up and pulled some clothes out of my drawers, the maxi skirt I wanted to wear was still in the dryer but I had my white tank. I carried them to the bathroom to wash the alcohol smell off myself.

The shower felt better then amazing, and after opening the door to let the steam out and pulling my shower cap off, I was happy my curls were still in tact from the night before. I slipped into my prettiest white bra and panty set and pulled my white tank top on. It was only 9:30, I had some time before I needed to head to the lab. Brushing my teeth and applying a bit of makeup I started singing along with the song running through my head.

I felt amazing after last night. Talking with Jane, with all of the girls, had made me feel more like myself. It was such a relief to voice some of the concerns I had kept in since starting this thing with Buck and Steve and since I found out Tony was my father. The thoughts had been bouncing around in my head, weighing me down. I had no one to blame but myself for that though; I could’ve talked to Jane, or Nat, any of them. I had been letting my own insecurities interrupt my life too much, to influence my decisions. I had always been one to enjoy life, often leaping before I looked. Over the last while I had forgotten to enjoy things.

My hips started shaking to the music in my head as I finished my makeup and headed into my living room.

I needed yogurt and berries.

“Good morning J, how are you this fine morning?” I asked as I sashayed into the kitchen.

“Good morning Ms, it is nice to see you in good spirits after your festivities last night. I find that my own mood matches your own” he replied.

“That’s great Bud! Can you please play Wake Me Up from my Shut up and Dance playlist please?”

“It would be my pleasure Darcy.”

“Thanks J, and can you crank it please?”

“Of course. Enjoy.”

I grabbed my vanilla yogurt and berries from the fridge, shaking my butt and singing along to the obnoxiously loud music now blaring in my apartment.

Odin bless Tony Stark and his sound systems.

“Feeling my way through the darkness, guided by a beating heart. I can’t tell where the journey will end but I know where to start.” I sang at the top of my lungs as a dug a spoon out of the drawer and stood up on my tip toes to fetch a bowl.

“So wake me up when it’s all over, when I’m wiser and I’m older. All this time I was finding myself, and I didn’t know I was lost.” I yanked the elastic out of my hair, letting my curls fall around my shoulders and turned in a full spin.

It had been so long since I’d danced like this, since I had sung, since I had really enjoyed any of my music.

I felt like a million bucks today.

I had wonderful friends, family and an amazing place to live. I had a great job doing something that I never imagined doing, but still loved. And I had 2 great guys who wanted to be with me, for me.

And when I finished my spin and set my bowl and spoon on the counter next to my food I realized those 2 boys were staring at me. Their mouths were hanging open and their eyes were wide.

I stood there, staring at them as they stared at me. It took me a few seconds but I realized I was only in my panties and a tank top, singing like a loon.

Oh Thor! How long had they been watching me?

I felt my cheeks heat.

“J can you cut the music?” I whispered, knowing that he would hear me, despite the noise.

The music cut off immediately and the 3 of us stood there watching each other in total silence. The look on Bucky’s face had changed from shock to full on lust and I started to squirm where I stood. I couldn’t handle the silence.

“Um, hi guys. How long have you been standing there?” I cleared my throat and tried to look them in the eyes.

“We texted you last night, said we would come and pick you up for breakfast. When we got here your door was ajar and we could hear the music. We could hear the music as soon as we got off the elevator,” Bucky chuckled and took a step closer, moving around the island countertop in the center of the kitchen.

“We knew you’d be up, we just didn’t think…” Steve trailed off. I could feel his eyes going up and down my body.

“Did you forget we were coming to take you to breakfast doll?” Bucky was 5 feet from me now, his walk had a predatory gate to it. It was slow and methodical, each step calculated so that he could reach his prey as quickly as possible.

I was his prey. 

“Breakfast?” I questioned loudly, as I backed up into the counter behind me.

As I thought about it, the text I'd received from them came back to my mind. Oh yeah, breakfast.

“I totally forgot,” I sighed as Bucky reached me, his eyes looking right into mine, asking for permission.

I nodded.

He was on me in an instant. His mouth went to my neck as his arms snapped around my waist. I lifted my arms around his neck and sighed as his warm kisses traveled from my ear to my shoulder. I looked over his shoulder at Steve, whose eyes had finally caught up with his brain. His eyes met mine as he too, started to come at me from around the counter.

Bucky’s hot mouth was on mine then, his tongue forcing its way inside. This time I quietly moaned into him, he answered with one of his own as his hands travelled up and down my sides. The heat of his right hand was burning right through my thin top.

He lifted a little and I went with it, letting him lift me onto the countertop, pushing my fingers into his hair, which was loose around his face this morning.

I had to close my eyes. He was everywhere.

I felt a mouth on the back of my hand that was in Buck’s hair. I pulled away from Bucky’s mouth and saw Steve’s bright blues over his shoulder, his mouth on my hand, and his hands on Bucky’s sides.

I couldn’t handle it. I wanted them both so much.

We all took a panting breath for a minute, watching each other. Bucky’s metal hand came up to pull one of Steve’s hands around his waist and closer to the both of us.

I decided then, that I had never wanted anyone or anything as badly as I wanted them.

I slid my hands down and to the front of Bucky’s pants, lifting the edge of his shirt and reaching for his belt. I grabbed the end and pulled, trying to undo it.

I listened to Bucky’s breathing pick up, but Steve’s hands came down and stilled mine.

I let out a groan of frustration, shooting daggers at him with my eyes over his boyfriends shoulder.

Bucky and Steve both laughed.

“You need to understand that I want this, we both do. More then you could possibly understand. But I am giving you a minute here to think about what’s happening and to stop if you want too. We didn’t mean to walk in on you this morning, and I want to make sure you have thought this through?” Steve said in a rush, holding my hands lightly. I could feel Bucky twitching between us, feeling the pressure from both of us around his waist.

I looked at both of them, into their eyes. I knew that if I said stop, they would immediately.

I wasn’t going to say stop though.

No fucking way.

“Just shut up and kiss me Cap,” I leaned forward and Steve lowered his head down from behind Bucky, locking lips with me. The kiss was hot and fast and sweet and I started to feel his hands move around mine. He took over the task of undoing Bucky’s belt

I watched as Steve undid Bucky's belt, then zipper and button. His boxer briefs were Hanes, simple, and possibly the sexiest things I'd ever seen. With his shirt pulled up I could see the bottom of his epic abs and the v of his hips. My mouth had gone dry and I felt like I was going to choke on my tongue.

I looked up at both guys, Bucky’s eyes were half lidded, the look he was giving set my blood to boil. Steve had a dirty smirk on his face, something I never would have expected Captain America to wear. Just half of his mouth was pulled up, a dark, sexy look in his eyes as he watched me watch them.

My brain still wouldn't work.

This was happening.

It was weird but I suddenly felt like calling Jane!

I heard Buck suck in a sharp breath and looked down. Steve's hand was sliding under his waist band and grasping the hard length I could see trying to force it's way out.

I watched Steve pump his fist up and down a few times before reaching forward to lower the band of his briefs down further. I was being so gentle, I felt like they were a mirage. If I touched them too hard, poof, they'd be gone.

My breathing was picking up as I exposed skin, Steve's pale hand wrapped around the darker skin of Bucky's cock.

Steve increased his pace and Bucky let out a moan, letting his head fall back against Steve's shoulder. I slid my hands up, exposing more of Bucky's delicious chest. I could feel Steve watching me, his breathing loud and the wicked glint still in his eyes.

"We've talked about this, hey Buck, me touching you while Darcy watched? Open your eyes and look at her." Steve whispered in Bucky's ear loud enough for me to hear.

Bucky's head snapped up and his eyes shot open, he looked right into my eyes. His pupils were totally blown and his upper teeth were chewing at his bottom lip.

"Jesus Punk, look at her!"

Both boys had red lips from my lipstick, and flushed cheeks. They were the most amazing things I'd ever seen. They were totally at ease with each other, familiar with each other's bodies.

My mind kicked out an unwelcome thought.

I was not a Barbie. I had curves, big ones. I had always loved my body, embraced it. But I did not look like your all-American girl. They liked what they saw while it was covered, what about uncovered?

No way. Nope. Just enjoy, remember!

I erased the shitty thought and focused on the men in front of me.

There was just enough room between me and Buck to slide off the counter, Steve stilled and pulled Bucky back a couple more steps. That was all the room I needed. I knelt on the ground between Bucky's legs and opened my mouth, never breaking eye contact with Steve I licked right across the slit at the end of Bucky's massive cock, 

He groaned so loud my consciousness flickered to life again.

"J, privacy settings please." I wasn't sure what made shit more sound proof in that mode, but I knew it would prevent us from being bothered, or more importantly, heard. I had things to do. Two things.

Steve removed his hand and one of mine took its place. My hands were smaller, just able to circle around his girth. I reared up and opened my throat, taking as much of Buck in my mouth as I could. I hollowed out my cheeks and brushed my tongue up the underside of his length.

It took me a few passes to get the feeling of him. To adjust to his size, to how he tasted.

It had never been like this. I had never been this turned on, not needing to stop and think about what we were doing. I'd never enjoyed this part of sex, giving head, I wanted this though. If there was a way to have them both in my mouth together I would have done it. Bucky was so big on his own, I considered it, but doubted it was possible.

I got a rhythm going, pumping my hand back and forth, along with my mouth over the end of him. I'd swirl my tongue around the tip and listen to him moan and squirm. Reducing a super soldier assassin to a moaning heap that had to be supported by his boyfriend was empowering.

I increased my pace, sucking harder. Bucky couldn't keep his head up; it was lulled back on Steve, his eyes occasionally opening to look down at me. I never took my eyes off their faces. They were beautiful, flushed and aroused. 

"Look at those big, beautiful eyes looking up at you Jerk, with your cock in her mouth. I could watch this forever," Steve was murmuring into the skin of Buck's neck. 

I felt Bucky get harder in my mouth and felt both boys shift. I watched Steve take Bucks metal arm and bend it behind his back, wrapping his other arm around Bucky's ribs, supporting him.

Bucky was getting louder, moaning my name, his free hand making it's way into my hair, urging me on. He pushed my head a little farther, forcing more of himself into my mouth. I focused on breathing through my nose and on the sounds he was making. 

"He's gunna come Darce, I can..." I saw Steve's hand in my periphery and pushed it away.

I felt Bucky go stiff, barking out my name, his hand tightening in my hair. The hot jets hit the back of my throat and I had to suck a hard breath in through my nose as the sheer volume started to choke me. My eyes watered but I kept them open, wanting to watch Buck as he came.

His teeth were clenched, his head thrown back and his eyes were closed. I watched his body bow in the middle and adjusted myself to keep him inside my mouth, gently bobbing my head, sucking lightly, until he finished.

I suddenly understood why he was bowing so hard, Steve was using all his strength to keep his metal arm behind his back. 

I needed to ask about that.

I pulled my head back, taking my mouth off Bucky as he went soft. His eyes were still closed and he was panting hard. I quickly brushed the back of my hand across my mouth and stood up slowly, my head spinning a little.

I should have known I wouldn’t get off totally scot free after all of the drinking last night.

I watched Steve and Bucky for a minute. Bucky was still panting, leaned back against Steve. Steve was no longer holding him tightly, he was holding him just enough, lovingly, watching them together like that made my heart ache. He kissed Buck’s neck as he opened his eyes and stood under his own power.

Bucky’s eyes immediately went to mine, they were foggy and unfocused but they were filled with such adoration.

I felt it at that moment, it clicked in my brain, which was surprising because not much else was.

They wanted me here just as much as I wanted to be here with them. Their relationship had room for me because they gave their affection willingly and freely. We all made this choice together. It did not feel forced or uncomfortable. I could be myself with them and they would accept me for it. They had both been through so much, separately and together. Unconditional acceptance was a gift they had both been given and I was the lucky girl that they wanted to share it with. I needed to stop questioning what the fuck they were doing with me, letting me in, and welcome the warm feeling that was spreading through my body thanks to these 2 amazing men. 

“Darce, that was, wow…” Bucky lifted his flesh hand and cupped my cheek. He leaned forward and kissed me gently. I could hear him righting himself, doing up his pants.

“So what now?” I asked, uncertain.

“Now that baby, is up to you.” Steve looked at me now, leaning forward for the same gentle kiss Bucky had given me.

They were standing side by side, I was still in a tank and panties, my knees red from pressing into the floor. I could see the noticible bulge in Steves pants, and couldn’t help but smirk at the far off look in Bucky’s eyes.

“Bedroom?” I questioned. I wasn’t ready to stop. I hoped they weren’t.

“Are you sure doll?”

I glared at Buck. “I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t sure,” I tossed my hair off my shoulder and smirked heading off in the direction of my room.

I could feel their eyes on my ass as I made my way across the apartment. It didn’t take more then a few seconds for the sound of two pairs of shoes to follow behind me.

I was acting a lot more confident then I felt, leading 2 Adonis like men into my bedroom. This newly recovered self confidence had to start somewhere though. This may be me biting off more than I could chew however. 

I sat down on the end of my bed.

They both hit my doorway at the same time, their shoulders getting stuck next to each other. Both were trying to get into my room first. It was just like on TV, and it made me laugh out loud. They were both acting like silly boys and it was totally cute.

After they both managed to fight their way into the room they stood there expectantly, but honestly I wasn't sure where to go from here. I didn’t know if they felt the same. Probably not. They had done this before, I most certainly had not.

“So now that ya have us here, what do ya plan on doin’ with us?” Bucky asked, taunting me a little.

Damn him. I could do this.

I cleared my throat. “Undress each other,” I commanded, gesturing for them to proceed.

Bucky smiled. Steve’s mouth opened with a little gasp.

Bucky was the first to start moving, he grabbed the bottom of Steve’s white t-shirt and yanked up. Steve complied and lifted his arms, letting the cotton get lifted over his head. Buck dropped it on the ground and leaned in, pressing his lips to Steve’s and he ran his hands up and down his sides.

I had to open my mouth and pant a little. I tried to discreetly rub my thighs together to dull the ache that was starting to build.

Steve caught up with the program and undid Bucky’s pants again, sliding his hands around back and onto the skin of Buck’s ass beneath the jeans and briefs. They continued to make out, it was all tongue and roaming hands, but I caught a smirk on the corner of the assasins face. They were taunting me still.

Wow, I wasn’t very good at this.

I decided to try some undressing of my own. I scooted my bum back on the bed, so I was sitting up near the pillows and grabbed the bottom of my tank, pulling it up over my head. I felt them pull apart and start watching me the second I started to move. I chucked it over the side and leaned back on my elbows with what I hoped was a demure smile on my face.

I was wearing my best white bra and panty set and had never been more thankful then I was at this moment for a wardrobe choice.

A few of my curls were falling over one shoulder, and when the boys brought their eyes up from my chest to meet my gaze, I winked at them.

Their stripping became less about seduction and more about getting naked as they both rushed to remove what was left. Bucky almost fell trying to get a leg free from his pants and Steve seemed to struggle more with his socks then I thought possible. I noticed that they both left their briefs on, and smiled. Even when they were hoping to get in my panties, they were still gentlemen.

Steve was the first to finish and approach the bed. He was so beautiful that sometimes I couldn’t believe he was real. His eyes were so blue, bright, he wore what he felt in them and right now I could tell exactly how he felt. The main feeling was lust, his pupils wide, I was sure mine were the same. They were soft though, I could tell that his attention was totally on me. I noted a hint of concern and was waiting for him to ask me if this was okay again. I felt like I was going to combust if he didn’t get this show on the road.

He crawled up the bed and I parted my legs so he could settle between them. The muscles in his arm shifted and rolled as he moved and I had to lick my lips. I wanted to sink of teeth into one of his biceps…maybe I should wait on that.

Steve settled between my legs, leaning so his face was an inch from mine. “You are so beautiful.” He whispered it, leaning in to kiss me.

I put everything I had into the kiss, trying to convey how I felt, how much I appreciated his words.

“I couldn’t agree more doll. You look like a dream, dressed like that.” Bucky laid down beside us. His hand rubbing up and down Steve’s back.

I pushed myself back up on my elbows, Steve following my lead, supporting himself. I reached forward and undid the front clasp on my bra, holding it closed for a minute and taking a deep breath. I was very chesty and my bras tended to have a lot of support to contain the madness.

I let my hands and bra come apart, revealing myself to them. The boys both took a second, watching me, before each took a nipple in their mouths.

“So beautiful” Steve whispered against my skin and I let out a loud moan, arching into their mouths.

Having my nipples in warm mouths, being sucked in tandum was mind blowing. Heat welled between my legs and my arms snapped up around their heads, holding them to me.

Bucky's hand came up, grabbing my breast, massaging it gently, never breaking the warm suction. My knees pressed into Steve's sides, squeezing him, holding him to me.

Bucky was relentless, sucking harder than Steve. I felt his mouth slide over, taking new flesh in his mouth. The pressure from the suction was driving me mad. I was sure I would have marks on my breasts after this, and that thought just teed me up more.

Steve’s mouth travelled up to my color bone and then to my neck, nipping and sucking along the way. The feeling of his teeth brought another loud moan out of me.

“Please” I managed to get out in a whisper. I wasn’t sure what I was asking for, but I needed something. As good as their mouths felt, it wasn’t enough to combat the throbbing ache I was feeling.

“How do you want us baby? What would make you the most comfortable?” Steve asked.

“Tell us what you need Darcy. We will go as fast or as slow as ya want." Bucky smiled at me.

“I don’t know.” I felt my cheeks turn red. “I want you both, but I don’t think I can the first time. I just…” I trailed off.

“We don’t expect that Darcy. Not on our first time together, not ever, if you aren’t comfortable with it.” Steve made me meet his eyes.

“He’s right doll. We'll move at your pace. We just want to be with ya." 

I felt like i'd won the lottery. 

"Darce?" Bucky questioned. I turned my head and looked at him. "I was already in your mouth, let Stevie take you like this."

I just nodded. Good. That sounded good. 

"Is that what you want Darcy?" Steve asked softly. The heat from both men and my own lust had me close to sweating. I just needed one of them before I spontaneously combusted. 

"Yes, please" I answered before I was aware I'd made the choice to speak. 

Steve's mouth came down hard as he let more of his weight down on top of me. I heard Bucky growl next to me in approval. 

Steve rocked against me, letting a hand drift down my side and slide onto my ass. He grabbed one cheek and lifted me closer to him, grinding himself right into where I needed him the most. 

Fingering the side of my panties, I felt him give them a gentle tug. "Can I take these off?"

I nodded, "you too then. I'm  
Not going to be the only one naked around here. You too Buck."

Steve rolled off me and each boy took a side, sliding the lace down my legs. 

I took a second to gather myself while they both divested themselves of their undergarments. 

Steve caressed my stomach gently before lacing the fingers on his right hand with the ones on my left. He pulled my arm above my head and he rolled back over me, pressing me into the mattress. His weight was marvellous. 

"Do you need Steve to wear protection doll?" 

Bucky's question brought me to a screeching hault as I stilled my mouth against Steve's. 

He looked down at me in surprise. We were both taken off guard but I was glad there were 3 of us. At least someone was thinking. 

"We can't catch anything, so we can't give you anything. But that's not the only possible outcome. Just want ya to feel safe Darce." Bucky was trying to be as polite as possible. 

"I'm clean guys, and I'm protected. I always protect myself." They didn't need to know I had an IUD put in right after I'd moved to Kansas.

I pushed my pelvis up into Steve's, grinding my wetness against him. His moan made Bucky chuckle. 

"Our girl is impatient Punk. Why don't you give her what she needs?" Bucky slid his hand up under my breast and squeezed gently. 

"What he said." I pulled Steve's mouth back down to mine. Shamelessly grinding myself against him again. 

"God Darcy, what you do to me," Steve whispered breathlessly. I felt his fingers between us, then across my hip and into my folds. 

He had talented fingers, but there was no need for this kind of foreplay. I knew I was wet enough already. When Steve pushed himself up into his knees, wrapping his hands around his length though, I wondered if that was true. He was longer then Buck. Buck was bigger around, but Steve was longer, he had the biggest cock i'd ever seen. 

Bucky kissed my neck, "I know right," he breathed against me. He was watching me watch Steve's erection. 

"Don't worry baby, I'll go slow." Steve leaned back over me and I felt his tip push against the dull, throbbing I felt between my legs. 

"Please Steve..." He cut me off as he slid the tip inside me. 

I gasped and wrapped my legs up around his waist, digging my heals into his ass encouraging him to move faster. 

"Muhuuuu Darcy" Steve made a loud moaning sound. "Slow baby, slow. You're so tight. I don't want to hurt you," he pushed in a little further. 

"Steve, ungggh. Bucky!!!" I cried out as Steve pushed further in, filling me, while Bucky pinched one of my nipples. 

The pressure was already building inside me as Steve's pelvis met with mine. 

I couldn't keep my eyes open, the pressure and the pleasure mixed together was too much. 

It had never been like this. I was on fire and he hadn't even started moving yet. The warmth of Bucky's hands on my chest and the feeling of Steve inside me was enough without looking into two sets of blue eyes. 

"Darcy, open your eyes, look at me" Steve panted as he started to move, slowly at first, rocking in and out. 

"Faster Steve, now!" I let out a slurred moan. 

Steve's hands went around my back, clutching me to him as he used his strength to lift me with him as he pulled his knees under him and sat up. 

With my legs still around him and his arms around my back he started pushing in and out, half lifting me off and bringing me back down with his sheer strength. 

I felt Bucky press against my back and Steve let go, my strength gone, I fell against him. I was completely at their mercy, too wrapped up in the intensity of Steve inside me to care how I was handled. 

With me half reclined against Bucky Steve really started to move, his legs acting like pistons as he drove himself into me again and again. 

I was being incredibly loud. Moaning and begging for more from both men. Steve shifted, pulling me harder against him with a hand on my ass, angling me just right so he hit the illusive spot inside me Ian had never been able to find. 

I screamed as my body tensed, the pleasure so good it bordered on pain. I felt like an animal, mewling and moaning, sweating against them without thought. 

It was just hands and limbs grabbing and pushing, moving and touching. Bucky behind, supporting my torso against his, one arm around me, under my breasts, the other keeping our balance. 

Steve's hands were on my hips, using them along with his own legs to leverage me to where it felt best. 

I was so close, my whole body over wound. I'd never had an orgasm this way and realized it felt like falling off a cliff you were headed to blindly, but knew was there. You were tensed for it, you just didn't know when the fall would happen. 

Bucky's hand traveled down my stomach and a warm finger found my clit, rubbing it in time with Steve's thrusts. It was just the push I needed and with one more thrust in just the right spot I pitched over the edge. I screamed Steve's name as stars formed before my eyes, the pleasure balling up in my abdomen and exploding outwards to my finger tips. A few more pumps and I felt Steve still, Bucky leaned back, supporting more of my weight as Steve moaned low and loud and I felt his release inside me. 

The aftershocks carried us both along for a few minutes before Steve opened his eyes and pulled out smiling down at me with the same foggy look Bucky had worn earlier. 

Bucky released me and helped me lay back, panting heavily, he held me against his chest as I lay on my side. 

Steve leaned over, running his hand through the hair stuck to the sweat on my face. 

"Open your eyes baby, let me know that was okay..." He trailed off, his breath stopping. 

"No."

"No what?" Steve's voice was concerned but Bucky just laughed. 

"He won't let you rest until you tell him you're okay doll," Bucky chuckled. 

I slowly peeled my eyes open, "that was amazing Steve. I feel like jello, but I feel amazing." 

"Okay Darce, good," he muttered to what seemed like himself. 

He got off the bed and headed to the bathroom. I started to shiver, feeling his absence the minute he was out of reach. 

"Here doll, move your legs." I was instructed as Bucky pulled my comforter over us. 

"Do you want something to clean yourself up with?" Steve asked from the doorway. I considered, I could feel his come slowly leaking down my thighs, I decided I didn't care. 

"No, just come to bed." I motioned with an outstretched arm. Bucky was breathing steadily behind me, his face buried in my hair. 

I watched Steve's magnificent body as he made his way back to us. My eyes were only open a crack, but it was enough. 

By Odin they were glorious. And they were all mine. 

Steve climbed into bed on the other side of me, laying down on his back. He laced our fingers together and pulled my arm across his chest. His other arm bent, his palm holding the back of his head. I lifted my head, laying it on his beautiful bicep, I felt Bucky adjust behind me. 

"You have to share Punk," he muttered, sliding one of his legs between mine, pressing his face back into my hair. 

"Hey, I always share" he defended, trying to sound indignant. 

"I'm just going to close my eyes for a few minutes," I yawned. Between the late night and the mind blowing sex, I needed a cat nap. 

"Sure Darce, whatever you want" Steve kissed my forehead. 

"Don't go kay?" I mumbled. 

"We won't leave doll, I promise" Bucky whispered. Steve murmured an agreement. 

I fell asleep feeling more worn out, but more beautiful then I had in ages. 

And I really, really hoped the privacy settings worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long everyone and thank you to those still sticking around. Unfortunately my pregnancy did not work out and I've been a little under the weather. 
> 
> I've never written smut before. I hope it's okay. 
> 
> I love hearing from you and getting kudos. Thank you so much ❤️


	11. Mission Eyes

When my consciousness flickered to life, I rolled over, stretched and realized 2 things simultaneously. The first was that I was pleasantly sore in all the best places. Not terribly sore but enough so that I would feel what happened this morning for the rest of the day, maybe tomorrow too.

The second thing was that I was alone in bed. My heart sped for a minute, wondering if both men had fled, disappointed with what had happened, if they were having second thoughts about what we were doing. My insecurities surfacing the second I gave them an inch.

My ears picked up the sound of water running in the bathroom. I looked at the clock as I sat up, I’d only been asleep for an hour and the boy’s clothes were still on the floor.

Just cleaning up before going on with their day, something I needed to do too and head down to the lab. I stood up, retrieving Steve’s shirt from the floor. I slid it over my head, holding the neck to my nose for a moment, inhaling his scent. Just the smell of him did things to me, starting another ache between my legs.

I trudged to the bathroom, debating on whether I should text Jane, fane sickness and crawl back into bed.

All thoughts stopped when I entered the bathroom, my eyes focused through the steam on my guys in the shower.

Steve was leaned over, one arm bent above his head, using his forearm for support. His other arm was straight, his palm braced against the wall. I could hear the quiet moans over the spray of the shower and couldn’t do anything but watch. Bucky had one hand on either of Steve’s hips and was moving slowly in and out of him from behind. Water trickled over their bodies and Bucky’s dark hair was stuck to his cheeks.

I watched them together, I knew I probably shouldn't, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Bucky’s moans were getting louder by the second. He suddenly shifted, bringing himself in closer to Steve, wrapping an arm around front as he started to pump his fist over Steve’s erection.

I started rubbing my thighs together, trying to gain friction where there wasn’t any.

With a shout, Steve stiffened and came; Bucky continued to pump into him, harder now, as Steve leaned heavier on the wall. His thrusts started to loose their rhythm and with a shout of his own Bucky’s hands clamped hard on Steve’s hips and he came too.

My hand went over my mouth as I tried to deal with the guilt of watching and with how freaking turned on I had become. Seeing them together like that was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. I felt like I might orgasm if a little pressure was applied in just the right spot.

Steve turned his head, looking right at me and I froze.

Shit.

I’m such a pervert.

`Hey baby, when did you get up?” Steve asked after shutting off the water. Bucky looked over at me and smiled too.

Steve climbed out first, grabbing 2 towels off the shelves above the toilet. He handed one to Buck and unfolded his, bringing it up and rubbing it through his hair. Water glistened on his body and I had to open my mouth and lick my lips.

I knew there was a question I was supposed to answer, but I just couldn’t remember what it was. I had spent some time around Steve before moving back here and had always thought he was attractive. I mean, look at him, even if he wasn’t Captain fucking America, Steve Rogers was an amazing man. I had never felt like this about him before, it was a visceral need. I needed him in my life now, I wanted him body and soul.

I felt like I was Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole. I was so careful heading into this but I felt like the relationship, my feelings for them had taken on a mind of their own.

“Huh?” I questioned him back eloquently.

He smirked at me, “Sorry we weren’t in bed when you got up Darce. Buck, well he had some ideas, and we didn’t want to wake you up.”

“So, kay’” I mumbled, watching Bucky towel off now.

“It’s not very often you’re speechless doll, ya all right?” Bucky smirked at me this time. His hair was a damp mess after he towelled it off and then wrapped the towel around his waist. His tone was mocking, but there was a hint of real concern in his eyes as he stepped closer.

“I’m sorry,” I finally managed to squeak out.

They looked at each other and then back at me. “What are you sorry for Darcy?” Steve placed a warm hand on my hip.

“I um, I was looking for you guys. You weren’t in bed. I didn’t mean to watch you, I…I…I…” I looked down; I could feel my cheeks flaring red.

Bucky started to laugh out loud and Steve’s hands moved to my cheeks, bringing my head up to look at him, a wide smile on his face.

“Darcy, we knew you were there, super soldiers remember. We aren't upset that you were watching us baby. I think I speak for both of us when I say we liked it.” Steve rubbed his thumbs along my cheeks bones.

“Its not us and you Darcy, it’s just us, the 3 of us together. There may be some Avengers stuff we can’t talk about with you, but Steve and I tell each other everything. I want to be as honest with you as I am with him, and I hope that you want the same.” I nodded at Bucky as he placed his metal hand on my hip.

Were all men like this in the 1940's? I should have been born then if they were. Bucky knew how to quiet all of my fears with a few words. I had spent so long hiding my insecurities from Ian, having someone acknowledge and validate them was insanely comforting. Whenever I spent time with him I lost a little more control over my feelings. I realized I relied heavily on him emotionally. I needed him as much as I needed Steve. 

 

“I want this.” They both looked a little confused so I thought of how to elaborate. “I want this relationship, to be your girlfriend, or whatever we would call each other.”

“Good.’

“Me too,” Both men spoke together with smiles on their faces.

“Girlfriend works as good as any other word doll,” Bucky smirked and gave my hip a squeeze.

“I like you in my shirt,” Steve moved his hands to my sides, both men backing me up against the counter. “I think I would like you even better out of it though.” His hands started to lift them hem of the shirt as his mouth met mine.

“Captain Rogers, please excuse my intrusion but you are needed in the conference room immediately” Jarvis’s voice sounded around us.

Steve backed up, taking a few deep breathes, he responded coolly. “Ill be down in 5 Jarvis.”

“Very good Captain, I shall inform Director Fury.”

“Sorry, but I’m going to need this back,” Steve tugged gently on the cuff of the sleeve.

I pulled it off over my head and handed it over, standing naked in front of him.

He looked at me wistfully for a moment before turning and leaving the bathroom. He and Bucky exchanged a glance before he exited and it was fraught with meaning. The kind of look that comes from decades of working with someone in the field.

It sent a chill straight to my heart.   
“Now that I have you here like this, whatever am I going to do with ya?” Bucky approached me now, but he was unable to clear the look from his eyes fast enough. It was the look Jane and I called the “mission” look. Thor had worn it so many times that after awhile Jane started to wear one the coincided closely. I called it the “permaworry”.

I was stiff as Bucky rested his hands on my arms, he tilted his head to the side, trying to read the look in my eyes.

“Its okay doll, it could be nothing. A need to know thing and the Captain always needs to know.”

"Or?"

“Or it could be a mission. We won’t know in the next few minutes, why don’t ya come into the shower, let me help ya get clean, and then I’ll make us somethin' to eat. Ya never got to your food this mornin'.”

He didn’t seem to be worried about what was going on, and he would know better than I would. I had been around long enough to sense the tension in the air, but this was only the start of our relationship. I couldn’t fly into an emotional panic every time Steve was called away to perform his duties. I decided I would only worry if one of them was worried.

“Come on,” he motioned towards the shower and I realized I might as well since I was already naked and my curls were no longer in tact after our roll in the sheets this morning.

Bucky didn’t try anything in the shower, even though I could see that he was hard. He helped me shampoo and condition my hair and then washed me with my lavender body wash before helping me towel off.

“Your body is amazing Darcy, ya just have no idea what ya do to me. It's like every fantasy I’ve ever had made real."

I stared at him, at the look of sincerity on his face. That was the nicest, sexiest, most romantic thing anyone had ever said to me.

I threw my arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to me. I buried my face in the damp skin of his shoulder and hung on for dear life.

He hugged me just as tightly, sensing my need. Buck pulled me closer still when I took a few deep, shuddering breaths.

"It's okay doll, don't tell me if ya don't want. But I'm a pretty good listener if you do want to talk."

"What am I going to say? I feel like all of my complaints are so minuscule next to everything you've been through. And Steve too! How can I bitch when you 2 have overcome so much?"

Bucky was silent for a minute, just holding my towel clad body as I held him in a death grip.

"He's not gone Darce, the soldier I mean. I understand Banner when he talks about the Other Guy. The soldier is in the corner of my mind all the time. I'm happy now yeah. Being here, having Stevie back, being one of the Avengers. And now having you too...” He trailed off, tucking my damp hair behind an ear. "But it doesn't go away. I am fighting a battle in my head everyday. The only reason I survived was because I had good people who knew how to help. Steve has said the same things. We won the war yeah, but at what cost?" Bucky lifted his lips in a sad smile, recalling some late night conversation with Steve I guessed. "The battle in his head is different. Just like the battle in yours is different from ours. Just because they are different does not mean they're invalid. I don't want you to think we need you to compete in the battered soul competition to be with us. I'm happy, very, very happy, that you haven't experienced what we have."

I was in total shock. I was totally floored by that fact that I was just yoda'd by Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier. Steve and Bucky were so smart, forgiving, capable and beautiful. I needed to thank my lucky stars every moment I had them. Every woman should be so lucky. 

I stared into his glorious blue eyes, suddenly not only just loving poems that ranted about love and lust, but understanding them.

Shit. Did I love them? Maybe. If not yet then it was close.

That was fast.

"The first time I saw you in that kitchen, my dream walking right into my life, your lip all busted. I had a hard time not flying over that counter, taking you in my arms and kissing that defeated look out of your eyes. I wanted to demand you tell me what had happened and hunt down the motherfucker who dared lay a hand on you."

My breathing hitched as I listened to Bucky's profession.

"When Steve came back into his own head in medical and saw us together, watched you fuss over me and him like an injured children, he asked me what had happened between us while he was gone. I told him everything, that I wanted you, I can't lie to him. I was shocked when he started laughing at me, I was so scared he would feel threatened by you, or betrayed by me that I didn't understand his reaction. He just smiled and said "she looks like our pin-up girls doesn't she!" And you do."

This was the most Bucky had ever spoken at one time to me and I hung on every word, curled up in his arms on the bathroom floor. My worry over Steve momentarily forgotten.

"He told me that you had floored him the first time he had met you. How beautiful you are, the confidence you carried yourself with, you intimidated him."

I started laughing. I intimated Captain America! Sure!

Buck continued his story with a smile on his face. "He asked me if you had admitted it was Ian who slapped you. We both debated on how best to handle that, and the decision is still in the works."

I would discuss that with them later.

"We both found you beautiful and the more time we spent together, Steve seeing how you stood by me, me watching how you cared for Stevie when he was injured, there was no other progression for us but to be with you. You think you're flawed and insecure, we think you are perfect just how you are. Let us be your confidence for awhile. We've got ya." He was smiling down at me as his accent returned now that things were less serious.

A single tear slid down my cheek as I sat safe and warm in his arms.

I shifted my body to straddle his lap and tried to express how much his confessions meant to me in the kiss I leaned into.

His hands came up into my hair, my arms wrapped around his neck and he kissed me back just as hard. One hand moved down to my ass and held me to him as he stood. His strength was amazing and I clung to him as he carried me to the bed and laid me down on my back. He looked at me for a minute before lying down between my legs and leaning in for another kiss.

I shivered beneath him, and he paused to pull the comforter up over us.

Things were just starting to get interesting, him whispering my name against my neck as I dragged my nails down his back when Jarvis came over the speakers again.

"I'm sorry Darcy, Sergeant Barnes, but Miss Foster has been trying to get a hold of you for some time and is becoming quiet frantic. Would you please return her call before Sir overrides the security system and lets himself into your suite to "simply shut her up"? “Jarvis quoted Tony.

"Thanks J, I'll call her back right now" I sighed as Bucky continued to kiss my neck.

"Buck?" I shoved at his shoulder. He just hummed and kept on kissing. "Bucky, I need to reach my phone." I was trying to grab it off the side table but it was a few inches out of reach.

"James Buchanan Barnes!" I raised my voice and he stilled, lifting his face to look at me. When he saw I was smiling, he smiled back. "I need my phone Sergeant. I have to call Jane. Do you seriously want my father bursting in here with you on top of me?"

The look on his face made me laugh out loud. He grabbed my phone for me and rolled to the side.

Hitching the blanket up under my arms, hitting the first number on my favourites list. "Hey boss lady, what's up?" I asked when she answered.

"I've been phoning you for like 2 hours, what have you been doing?" After brief pause she reconsidered her question. "Never mind. Is Barnes with you?"

"Yes?" I phrased it like a question.

"Lady Sif showed up here this morning and she and Thor had a long conversation. I don't know what they talked about but Sif left immediately after and Thor was pretty worked up." I listened to her intently, trying to ignore the hand that had crept into my hip and was slowly sliding down.

"Okay..."I wasn't sure where she was going and I was having a hard time focusing.

"Then Thor left to find Steve..." Jane finally got to the point.

That got my attention and I grabbed Bucky's hand right before it hit where I'd really wanted it. I sat up abruptly.

"Darcy?" Bucky sounded concerned.

"Do you feel it Darce?" Jane whispered.

I went totally still and tried to pay attention to the feeling in my gut. I sure did feel it.

"Jane?"

"Before London remember, when you crashed my date? When all the machines started turning on, I got a feeling in my stomach. It was the same in New Mexico when we found the picture of Thor in the storm. I knew something was going to happen. Every time Thor gets called away on a mission, while they are planning and getting ready to head out, I get the same feeling." Jane explained herself.

The look my boys exchanged earlier came to mind. "Mission" eyes!

Shit!

So the feeling in my stomach was the beginning of "permaworry".

"Oh Jane..." I trailed off. I didn’t know what to say.

“I’ll let you know if I hear anything from Thor.” Jane spoke quietly now. I was pretty sure she was happy to have someone to commiserate with when it came to being the other half of an Avenger. Her and Pepper weren’t close and it had to be lonely not having anyone who understood how she was feeling when Thor was away fighting against who the hell knew.

“I won’t be down for awhile” I told Jane.

“I’m down in the lab now, but don’t worry about coming down today.”

We both hung up at the same time, no need for a formal ending.

Bucky was just looking at me, he didn’t seem as confused as he should. He knew that a mission was coming.

“Sif came down from Asguard, had a meeting with Thor. Then Thor went looking for Steve, I’m guessing that’s when he was called away. Must be something off world.” I mumbled to Bucky, taking a deep breath.

I had always pleaded with whoever was listening whenever my babies went off to fight whatever new threat formed from week to week. It was so much different now. I was in deep with the time warp twins; the idea of them going out on a mission and not coming back had completely different implications now. Not to mention Tony. My dad, my boyfriends, going off world to fight…

“I want you to promise me something?” I rolled over and looked at Bucky.

He just nodded, rolling to face me too.

“I understand what you guys do and I understand it is completely 100% needed. But you guys need to understand that not only does the world need you now, but I need you too. I need you to come home. I need you and Steve and Tony to come home along with the rest of the team.”

Bucky nodded, running his metal hand up and down my side.

“I need you to take care of each other, like my life depends on it because it most surely does.”

He slid closer in the bed, rolling me gently onto my back.

“And I don’t want any of this “we hid it from you for your own good bullshit” do you understand me?”

I felt Bucky nodding against the skin of my shoulder and welcomed his warmth on top of me.

“Seriously Buck, say that you promise. I’m not afraid to demand a pinkie swear Barnes.”

“I promise doll. I swear that Steve and I will keep ya as in the loop as we are allowed and we wont sugar coat things for ya, kay.”

“I’m holding you to it soldier. Now please, just…aahhhh…” I moaned out as he slid himself into me slowly.

“Mmmm...” Bucky crushed his lips to mine and started to move slowly.

This wasn’t like last night when it was all hurry up and get it on. This was slow and sweet and full of need.

I let myself get totally lost in Bucky, concentrating on the feelings in the moment.

“I can’t even leave you guys alone for an hour.” I heard Steve’s voice from the foot of the bed

“You should have known better Punk. Now get with the program, or sit back and watch. You were right, fuck she feels amazing.” Bucky started to move a little faster, making me arch off the bed into him.

“By all means, continue.” I could hear the humour in Steve’s tone, but didn’t have time to react as the muscles in my belly started to clench. Bucky had shifted and was hitting my g-spot with every thrust.

“Bucky, oh my god” my back cracked as I arched into him, coming so hard that I stopped breathing. 

Bucky gave out one last shout as he came. I could feel Steve on the bed beside me and rolled into his side after Bucky and I caught our breath. 

Steve’s hands carded through my hair for a minute as my brain returned to full function. It didn’t take long to pick up the tension he was carrying.

“You guys have a mission hey, off planet?” I mumbled into his hip.

“Yeah Darcy, I’m sorry we have to prepare to leave right away. I know it’s not the best time and all…” he trailed off. "We will continue this when we get back." The heated look he gave me sent a shiver straight to my toes. 

I heard the alarm that sounded whenever the Avengers were called to assemble ring out over the PA system.

“I’m just going to rinse off quick, I’ll meet you out here in a minute.” Bucky left the bed and headed back to the bathroom and the water turned on.

“I talked to Bucky while you were gone. He made some promises to me, and I want to hear them from you too.”

Steve looked concerned but nodded as I sat up.

“That you guys will do whatever you can to make it back here. I know that world needs you guys, but I do too. And Tony…” I trailed off.

Fuck I was a mess.

“I will do whatever I can to make sure that every member of your family makes it back to you” Steve vowed.

It crossed my mind that I was adding more pressure to Steve then he needed right at this moment. I needed them to understand that unnecessary risk would not be tolerated.

Bucky came back from the bathroom, back in his jeans and shirt, his hair pulled back with one of my ties.

I stood up with my sheet wrapped around my body and walked with them to my door.

Shit, was I going to cry?

“Be safe and come back” was all I said as Steve opened the door, the alarm cutting off.

“We have to go. We will contact you whenever we can.” Bucky hugged me hard once and left through the front door.

“Take care of yourself love, please” Steve kissed me hard once and followed Bucky.

I stood there numbly for a minute before rushing to the door and out into the hallway in my sheet.

“Guys, I…I…” I called as they hit the elevator.

They both stopped and smiled back at me. “I know Darce, us too.” Bucky called back before the doors closed.

I retreated back into my apartment, which felt cold now without the guys.

I wandered around for a few minutes, through the kitchen and into the living room, the ends of my sheet dragging behind me.

I decided that I at least needed to try and function. Take everyday they were gone one day at a time. I didn’t know how long they would all be gone and Jane had done this before she would know what to do.

“J, can you play my “handle it” playlist please? “

He didn’t comment as the music started to fill my place.

I wrapped my hair into a tight bun high on my head and pulled on my giraffe print onesie and dino feet slippers. Filling a tote with food from my fridge to take down with me, I left my apartment and took the elevator to the lab. I didn’t know if they were all gone now, but they might as well have been. I stuffed my ear buds in my ears and cranked my iPod. Eminem blared loudly and I tapped my Dino feet along with the beat.

It was a rare day that I didn’t bother with make up and a couple of the Stark Industries employees gave me strange looks as I walked down the long hallway central to all the labs.

Then again, maybe it was my outfit and not my lack of war paint that they were staring at.

I stopped dead in my tracks after opening the lab door. Steve and Bucky stood just inside, totally dressed in their gear. Bucky was very heavily armed.

They turned to me and took a few steps forward. Jane was just standing next to her mass spectrometer with a big smile on her face.

“Nice slippers doll,” Bucky smirked at me. The look and his tone were totally out of place next to the massive gun strapped across his back.

“What are you…?” I stuttered. Meeting them halfway.

“I love you Darce” Steve whispered as he approach me. “Just wanted you to know before we left. I don’t know how long we will be gone and I…I…”

Holy shit. 

My eyes raked up and down his tight suit and I filed the mass amount of fantasies that started to play through my mind away for future reference.

He kissed me hard once and stepped aside.

Bucky looked huge in his black gear, there were tiny patches of red here and there, but the rest was black as night. Knives and guns hung from everywhere and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

“We will be back as soon as we can Darce, kay. Hold down the fort while were gone. I love you.”

My heart fell into my stomach and I just stood staring at them. Steve’s hand went to his ear and I heard the faint voice over the coms buzzing at him.

I was out of time.

“I love you guys too, please, please be safe.”

Shit, I had just pitched myself over the cliff.

“Bye doll” Bucky waved as they left, a giant smile on his face. Steve’s cheeks flamed up red as he noticed the small crowd watching us through the glass walls.

I watched them head back down the hallway with my heart now up in my throat.

Tony appeared out of the corner of my eye, carrying a large case in one hand.

We stared at each other through the glass for a moment. He finally took a deep breath and winked at me, heading the same way my boys were going.

Once they were out of sight I turned to Jane and she clapped her hands together and squeed at me.

“What do you usually do when Thor is gone?”

Her happy expression fell. “I work.”

“Okay.” I filled the fridge with what I had brought down and started up my computer screen.

I suddenly understood why Jane worked harder at times; it always coincided with the permaworry.

“J, anything from IPod thief?” I asked.

A document appeared on my screen and I set to work.

I hoped this day wouldn’t go by as slow as I was expecting.

At least Jane and I had each other.

“Resume “Handle it” J, please” I asked the AI nicely.

Rap filled the lab and I smiled as Jane started to rap along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda packed a lot in here and went a little fantasy wild. Some not so fluffy stuff to come. Thank you all for the kind words. Your kudos make my world go around right now ❤️


	12. Make him pee his pants.

The first 2 days were horrible. Despite having the original intention of pouring myself into my work, it quickly became all about checking my phone and email praying I’d hear from any of them.

Nothing.

After 48 hours Jane finally pulled me aside and told me enough.

"You'll loose your mind. Thor has been gone for over a month before. I realized quickly that constantly waiting for contact was making it worse, not better."

I sighed loudly. "I'm just not good at this yet. I don't know how to handle it."

"You don't handle it Darcy, you just learn to live with it." Jane was trying to be kind. And I needed to listen to her.

"I don't even know myself anymore." I felt my lip quiver, but pulled it together.

"What do you mean?" Jane was not the best at understanding complex emotions. Black holes yes, crying assistants, no.

"I just lost it with Ian. I started focusing more on him, waiting for him to be happy so I could be happy. Then I come back here and I became so happy so fast. It feels like a dream. That it'll go away."

"I'm sorry ladies, for eves dropping" Pepper stood just inside the doors. "I came to take you to lunch. From the sounds of it, we can all use a break."

"That sounds great actually" I jumped up and grabbed my purse. Jane looked wistfully back at her desk but the look on my face changed her mind.

~~~*~~~

Lunch was good. A quiet Italian bistro that I knew Pepper and Tony frequented.

It wasn't until we were on our way home that Pepper broached the topic she had heard Jane and me discussing when she walked into the lab.

"I don't want to be pushy. I know that our relationship is different then just friends and I know your relationship with Steve and James is different too. But if you are in search of advice, I'm one of those people that are happy to give mine?" Pepper was so sweet about it. Honestly that's what made her scary. She scared the ever living shit out of me. She could deliver a deadly blow simply with her sweet voice. She was absolutely confident about everything she. 

"Sure..." I was worried. I valued her opinion without her being my...whatever the hell she was. My estranged father’s fiancé. She was badass and not only did I value her opinion but I wanted her to approve of my choices. 

"It's not like that" she chuckled at me.

“Okay, hit me then.”

“You are a very giving person. That's always one of the qualities I have admired about you. Before I became CEO and Tony and I actually acknowledged our feelings for each other, all I did was give to him. If I wasn’t doing something with him I was doing something for him. When I wasn’t doing either of those things I was thinking about him. Then he handed over the company and I had to lay out some ground rules and it was a hard adjustment for everyone concerned. I couldn’t be what I needed to be for Stark Industries and be what Tony had come to expect of me.” We were back at the tower now; Happy was trailing behind us as we walked back from the bistro.

We made our way up to the communal floor and I stopped by the fridge to grab a coke. I grabbed one for Jane and a sparkling water for Pepper. Flopping down on the couch, I pulled an afghan I’d brought from home and liked to leave here for movie nights over my body.

“”I know that you’ve been through a lot lately. What happened with Ian was disgusting and then finding out that Tony is your father. I’m going to marry the man and even I think that news would be quite shocking.” We all chuckled and I suddenly felt better about having this conversation with Pepper. I needed to get the idea that I was being watched, judged and found wanting out of my head. I was me and they were all them and that was good enough.

“And this thing with Steve and James, I have to admit I am more then a little curious about how it is working. They are, well…” Pepper blushed and Jane started to giggle. “But that is a conversation for a later time. You came back here and threw yourself back into tower life, which is great. Coming home is sometimes exactly what you need when you are finding that you need to get your head right.”

I sat up and was listening intently to her now. Even Jane seemed to have turned off science brain for a minute and was listening to Pepper.

“You threw yourself into being home, into your job and into your relationship with the guys and I am happy that you are happy. You haven’t given yourself a moment to breathe however. Life is about Jane, Steve, James and Tony. The other residents have always come before your own well being as well. There is a point Darcy, when you have to say enough is enough. A moment when you have to take time to separate yourself from feelings that are connected too and therefore dependant on others. You need to be happy with yourself, when you are alone, when you are the only person in your head.”

I sat there shocked. I didn’t know I was so transparent. I mean, I knew I wore my heart on my sleeve and whatever. But I didn’t know that others could see how I was feeling better than I could.

“I promise that once you find yourself more at home in your own head, your own skin, dealing with the guys being gone will become a lot easier.”

“What Pepper said” Jane gestured to the CEO on the couch.

I was suddenly exhausted. I was full and running on almost no sleep. An afternoon of emotional awakening could really take it out of a girl.

“I have to get back to my office. I had a lot of fun ladies. Let’s do this again in a few days, shall we?” Pepper got up and smoothed her pencil skirt.

“Sure, sounds good hey Darce?” Jane nudged me.

“Yeah, um, sure…” I nodded at them, unsure of what I was agreeing too.

Pepper made a swift but sophisticated exit while I sat on the couch, still stunned. I was totally lost in my own head.

“Darcy, I want to head back down, do you want to come?” Jane asked, resting a hand on my shoulder.

“No. I think I’m going to go back to my room. I’m really not feeling good all of a sudden.”

“Sure Darce, whatever you want” I could hear a note of concern but she was already half in science mode so she didn’t put up a fight and wandered out of the room.

I sat for a few more moments and then slowly made my way to the elevator and down to my own floor. I stared dumbly at the thumb pad on my door before remembering that I had to press my thumb against it to unlock my door.

I entered my room and was bumped out of my own head by the simultaneous beep from my phone and Stark Pad. It was an alert to an email arriving in my personal account and I rushed to my coffee table. That was faster then trying to dig my phone out of my purse.

I gave the tablet a nasty face when the email turned out to be from Ian.

“I should inform you Darcy that the same individual has called the tower switchboard 5 times and left messages for you each time.” Jarvis spoke up.

“Why didn’t he just try my cell?” but I knew the answer before the question was even out of my mouth. “Who blocked his number?”

“Sir asked me to funnel all calls from this particular individual through to him and to block any incoming calls to your cellular device as well.”

“And you just let him do that J?”

“I tried to convince him that you should be advised to any measures taken of this nature but Sir over rode my protocols himself. He did forget about emails however and I neglected to remind him.”

“I knew you had my back J” I smiled

“That I do Darcy. I should also inform you that he is trying to contact you again through telephone at this very moment.” Jarvis didn't seem to like the idea that Ian was trying to phone me anymore then I did. He also understood that I did not like having choices made for me either. “Would you like me to put him through to your in room phone?”

“I guess…” I muttered and stood by my handset waiting for it to ring.

“Darcy?” Ian’s voice came over the line as soon as I picked it up.

“What do you want Ian?”

“I have been trying desperately to get a hold of you since last night. Please don’t hang up on me.”

“If I was planning to just hang up on you I wouldn’t have let the call through in the first place. Now what can I do for you?” I was being very snotty and I knew it.

"I get the hint okay. I'm so sorry. I was totally out of line. I honestly don't know what came over me."

"Hint? What hint?"

"I got a call yesterday about a large amount of unpaid taxes from the IRS. I know I have paid my taxes. This morning I got another letter requesting proof on information I provided to obtain my work visa. I have also been dealing with the bank about the large amount of fraudulent changes on my visa account."

I started to laugh out loud. "Seriously Ian, you think I could pull off anything like that. Don't flatter yourself. I haven't thought about you enough to bother with some master plan"

"No, perhaps not, but your flat mates are another story" he said. I could tell he was trying to keep his anger under control.

"I suppose you’re probably right. My friends were not impressed with my new look when I arrived home. My father, even less so" I commented. I wanted to throw that out there.

"Father! What?"

"We’re getting off topic." I ignored his question. "I haven't done anything to hurt you since you hit me. I just left it all behind me. I can ask the others when I see them next. I don't know when that will be though."

"Please Darcy. This is important, very important. I can't be deported" Ian had a pleading tone in his voice that I was juvenile enough to admit I enjoyed.

"Yes Ian, you can be. And that's between you and immigration. I'm sorry but I've got nothing left to say to you." Ready to end the call I heard him shout into the receiver.

"I need to stay in the country Darcy, you don't understand. Evelyn needs me" he was begging.

"I'm surviving just fine without you Ian; I'm pretty sure she will too. It's only been a few..." I stopped talking and my heart stopped beating in my chest.

"She's pregnant Darcy. Please. Call them off, I'm begging you."

My first instinct had been heartbreak. And then something dawned on me and a laugh started in my belly.

One issue Ian and I had always had was that he was adamant that he never ever wanted kids. I had always been on the fence but was leaning more towards yes.

I could hear him breathe in deeply while I chuckled to myself.

My laughter cut of abruptly as I thought of the poor helpless child that didn't ask to be fathered by this giant bag of douche.

"I'll talk to them Ian. When they get back, I'll talk to them. In the mean time I'll have J email Tony, who I think is behind most of this, and hope he reads it. I'll do what I can but I make no promises. And so help me if you ever lay a hand on that child Ian." I spat over the phone through clenched teeth.

"No of course...I...I'd never..." He sputtered indignantly.

"Remember that I'm the last person you have to worry about."

"Was that a threat Darcy?" He had a hint of snot in his voice now and it was making my blood boil.

"Absolutely. You keep your abusive hands off Evelyn and your baby or I swear to Odin Ian, I will bring everything within my power down on your useless head" I said in my darkest tone.

"Understood" he mumbled.

"All further communication will be over email. I don't ever want to hear your dumb voice again. Good bye."

I slammed the phone back in its cradle as hard as I could. I missed that. You couldn't hang up an iPhone violently. Pressing the end button didn't have the same effect.

Ian was going to have a baby. Ignoring the fact that he didn't want, or deserve this child, it hurt. I hoped to have kids one day. Well, at least one. And here he was, having the life I'd wanted with the woman he'd cheated on me with.

That wasn't right though.

Trying to take Pepper's advice I trailed over to my bed, stripped off my pants and climbed in. Facing my feelings about this now would be better then later.

Did I want to still be with Ian, build a life with him? No.

Did I miss our relationship or our life in Kansas? No.

What I missed was the romantic notion of what our life was supposed to be like. It was never like that, would've ever have been like that.

Was it upsetting he was having a baby with his mistress? Absolutely.

Did it impact my life now at all? No.

I was happy here. Being a scientist wrangler wasn't my life plan but it was fun. My job was engaging, changed constantly, had good hours and I got to work with my best friend. The pay was amazing and I could wear my Dino slippers to work.

I didn't go into political science like I planned, but that was okay. I didn't miss it. I didn't have any dreams that were going unrealized.

My brain worked well when it came to politics, but my heart wasn't in it. My heart was here. Helping keep alive the scientists who would one day develop tech that would keep me alive. Not a plan but a calling.

Did I picture myself in a 3 way relationship? No.

Was I happy in one? More then I thought possible.

Was that enough for now, being with them like we were? Definitely.

After an hour of self actualization and staring at the ceiling I yawned and decided that was enough for today.

I would figure out what I wanted to do for myself later. Right now I was content enough to let Ian go and be happy with where I was.

~~~*~~~

“Darcy, I am sorry to wake you but Miss Potts and Dr. Foster are at your door with dinner. Would you like to join them or should I inform them that you are unfit for company?

“You’re unfit” I mumbled into my pillow. “What time is it J?” I asked after I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, sitting up.

“The time is 10 after 6 in the evening.”

“Let them in JARVIS. Tell them I’ll be a few minutes though. I need to brush my teeth and find pants” I was shocked that I had slept for 4 hours. I hadn’t slept well since the boys had left however. My imagination running rampant with the situations they might be in. “And J, can you please send an email to Tony asking him to cut out whatever he is doing to Ian. The thought is appreciated but it’s not worth it if it means I have to keep hearing from him.”

“The email has been sent and Dr. Foster and Miss Potts are waiting in your living room. Dr. Foster asked me to tell you to get your ass out of bed.”

Of course she did.

I slid out of bed and crawled to my PJ pants from that morning, pulling them on I then crawled to my bathroom. I brushed my teeth with considerably more gusto at the thought of food. I hoped they had gotten Vietnamese food. I really wanted spring rolls.

I splashed some water on my face and wiped the mascara from under my eyes with a baby wipe. Trying to at least look like I hadn’t been in bed all afternoon, despite them both knowing that I had been.

I left my room and was greeted by the smell of spring rolls and my stomach growled in response.

“What’s this email about Darcy? Asking Tony to leave Ian alone?” Pepper was looking at her phone as I loaded up my plate.

It would make sense that Pepper would monitor Tony’s stuff while he was away.

I sighed loudly and filled them in on my conversation with Mr Stupid while we all filled our faces.

By the end of it Jane was laughing hard enough that food dribbled out of her mouth and onto her chin. Pepper wore a smirk on her face but stopped to ask me a question before letting herself laugh out loud.

“Does it bother you, that he’s having a baby with this woman?”

“Honestly it did at first. But I am happy here, I am happy with the guys. He never wanted kids so whatever bed he has made for himself he will have to lie in. I’m very concerned about his temper though, about him having a baby. I am just hoping that girl knows what the hell she has gotten herself into. If I know him though, he made up some story as to why I left. There is no way that she knows that he smacked me.”

Jane was nodding along with what I was saying, a string of noodles hanging past her chin.

“You could tell her I suppose” Pepper said, dipping a spring roll.

“I thought of that, but I think I’m just going to stay out of it. Asking Bucky and Natasha to pay him a visit though, put the fear of God in him, maybe make him pee his pants, seems like a good course of action. The others are imposing but Natasha scares the shit out of me on a good day and Buck…well Buck…” I trailed off picturing him before he left, his uniform made him look absolutely terrifying. It had scared the hell out of me. I knew he was an assassin, but seeing him in person, dressed like that, was a totally different experience. I had never been more happy then I was now that those 2 were on my side. “Bucky is scary when he is in assassin mode. I’m sure Natasha and Buck together would get the point across.”

“I’ve seen him like that; Tony was making adjustments to his uniform, adjusting some of his holsters. It was rather impressive.”

“Thor’s hammer is impressive” Jane said without thinking, taking a drink.

Pepper and I both looked at her and burst out laughing. I had tears in my eyes as I held my sides.

Pepper started saying she bet his hammer was impressive between fits.

Jane’s face turned bright red as she covered her face with her hands.

“I so needed that” I sighed as the laugher died down.

“Is it bad that I am secretly pleased that Tony is taking vengeance on Ian?” I asked, sobering up the conversation.

“No, of course not” Pepper patted my hand. “Every woman, no matter how independent, secretly wants a big strong man to whisk her off her feet and take care of her problems. In this case you have a team of earth’s mightiest heroes, 1 of which is your father and 2 others are your boyfriends. You help others, as misguided as it is, let them help you.”

I liked her more and more every time we talked.

“I mean, as long as they aren’t causing bodily hard” Jane shrugged. “Why not let them scare the crap outta the dummy.”

“Have either of you heard from them?” I finally asked. I had wanted to ask but I didn’t want to be a Darcy Downer. I couldn’t keep it in anymore, might as well ask while I was already wrecking the mood.

Pepper said no and Jane just shook her head.

“I think we need a drink.”

“Agreed” Pepper responded.

“Sure, those neutrinos can balance themselves” Jane answered.

I went to the freezer and retrieved Natasha’s bottle of vodka.

The good news was that I wasn’t drinking alone, nor was a day drinking.

One day at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than normal but another is coming. Thanks for the support. 
> 
> I don't own any of these wonderful characters :)


	13. 17.5 Days

I started spending everyday in the lab, totally engrossed in Jane's work. I organized her, Tony's and Bruce's labs from top to bottom. I was there from dawn until usually midnight or 1 am. The bags under my eyes had bags. 1 week slowly turned to 2 and we heard nothing from them. They had been gone for 17 days and I was starting to channel my permaworry into anger. Doing everything with a little more force then needed.

Shit was getting done though. I'd never been this organized.

It was easier to spend my time with someone who understood exactly what was going through my mind. Pepper seemed to do the same thing, checking on the labs (me) occasionally, she walked with purpose. Her heels would click loudly as she made her way down the hallway. The few employees with lab clearance would scatter like roaches when a light comes on. They'd run for cover.

I translated Jane speak, fed her, and checked my phone and email periodically hoping for some update, anything, from my boys. I put Ian completely out of my mind. 

Jane explained the complications behind communications between worlds and despite my high IQ I only understood half of what she said. She did assure me that if they needed to get a hold of me, there were ways, they just weren't easy.

It was near sunset on the 18th day, and I only knew that because I'd recently been upstairs for food to restock our fridge. I'd left Jane snoring softly; face down in a stack of papers on her desk.

I'd just rolled my chair back to my desk, preparing to finish my latest document when the doors hissed open and my jaw dropped.

17 and a half days had passed since The Avengers had left.

Clint walked into the lab and stood, not lifting his head to look at me.

I stopped breathing.

Someone was dead.

I wanted to run to him, hug him and run my hands all over him, make sure he was whole. The look in his eyes stopped me though.

He looked haunted, his eyes half dead. He was absoluly exhausted and dead on his feet.

“Clint?" I questioned. I was scared to move, scared to hear him say what I was sure he was going too.

Was it Buck or Steve?

Both?

No!

Nope!

No fucking way!

Tears filled my eyes and my hand flew to my mouth. My knees started to shake as the edges of my world started to crack.

Tony!

Clint was at my side before I fell out of my chair. He lifted me up to him and I gripped at the skin on his arms with everything I had.

"Who Clint? WHO?" I was becoming hysterical.

"No Darce, no. No one is dead."

"Don't fucking do that to me. What the hell. Next time lead with that okay..." He didn't look better though, if anything he looked worse. "Tell me Clint."

"I won't bore you with the details now, but something was done to Bucky." His voice started to crack so I inched back towards the chair, giving him a gentle shove into it. I knelt on the floor between his legs, watching his eyes.

"Done to him? He's injured?"

"No, not really. They, someone, one of Loki's followers did something to his head."

I didn't know where this was going, but based on the conversation I had with Buck about The Soldier before they left, anything done to his head couldn't be good.

"He thinks Steve’s the mission again." Clint’s voice was full of gravel, too tired to clear his throat.

"The mission? Steve?"

"He thinks he's The Winter Soldier again and that Steve is his target” he clarified. 

I sat back on my heels and stared at him.

"He just came at Steve. I thought it was over. We had neutralized almost everyone. Nat said she was clear and then her coms went dead. He came at Steve out of no where. I was on a turret close by, I don’t even know which direction he came from and I see everything..." Clint trailed off

"Oh my god..."

"That was 3 days ago."

"3 days? You've been back for 3 days?" I tried to beat down the hurt I felt. This was so not the point right now.

"Heimdall brought us back down to the facility we helped Buck at last time. Bruce thought it might help him remember...it didn't"

"So where is he now?"

"We just got back. He's sedated and in medical. What we had to do to restrain him..." Clint was shaking his head. I didn’t even want to know. 

"Loki? Did you capture him? I thought he was still in prison?"

"It was just his followers. He planned this whole thing from his cell, using Buck the same way he used Bruce before..." Clint was answering my questions readily enough, but he was wearing thin.

"Tell me what you guys need, what Bucky needs? Anything."

"I think Steve is worried that you’ll get scared. He hasn’t said, but that this will scare you away from them."

So that was it. He didn't want to scare me off with Bucky's regression. He thought loosing 1 of us might mean he would loose both.

"Look at me Clint" I grabbed a baby wipe from the container on my desk and started to wipe the blood from his cheek. The wipes were good for dirty hands, surfaces, and apparently blood. "I don’t think that can happen. I knew what I was signing up for.”

"He's mentioned you twice..." He whispered.

I stilled on my way to the trash.

"The only person he will even respond to is Natasha. I think he remembers her. But twice he has woken up with a start and called out your name." Clint scrubbed his face dry with his hands and stood up, holding out his arms to me.

Clint often needed physical contact like this from people who don’t go on missions with him. It’s like he needs the constant reassurance of what he’s fighting for. That his people are at home and okay. 

"Steve doesn’t want you to see them like this, but Tony and Bruce think it’s the best chance he has right now, to see you."

"I want to see him. God Clint, when you came in here I thought..." He knew what I thought.

"I'm sorry, I'm not thinking clearly. I don’t even know when that last time any of us slept was.”

Clint leaned in for another hug and I let him hold me as along as he needed before he pulled away and gave me a quick smile.

"I need you to prepare yourself okay."

"Sure Clint." I was panicking much more on the inside then I let him see. "Did Thor come back?" I questioned, looking back at Jane.

"No. He stayed behind to help with..." Clint petered out.

Sentencing and executions.

"She will be fine." I assured myself as I followed Clint blindly.

The elevator ride to medical was very quiet and tense. Clint looked dead on his feet and I was guessing by the look on his face he very nearly was.

All of the Avengers were seated in the waiting room I’d sat in with Bucky. Nat had a row of stitches across her forehead. Tony had a large bruise on his cheek and a gash across his nose. They all looked at me with the same dead eyes, exhaustion winning out.

Tony inhaled sharply when he saw me, standing and striding over, the bear hug was unexpected but not unwanted and I took it in stride, hugging him back.

"Kid." Tony greeted me after I was released, stepping back quickly as if surprised by his own actions.

Bruce trudged into the room next, his head low and his hair messier than usual. He raised his head with closed eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose before sliding his glasses back into place and turning to address his adoring fans.

"He's starting to come too. It's not pretty. The Hulk Chamber was a good idea. I'm not worried he will break the glass, but everything else in there is virtually unbreakable and I think that's in everyone's best interests."

What the hell was wrong with him?

"I want to see him" I spoke up, sounding more confident then I felt.

"I think that's a good idea, but I think Natasha should take you. He shows minimal aggression towards her. If he sees you with her...I just don't know." Bruce was absolutely exhausted.

Steve came around the corner then, his clothes torn in more then one place, blood staining one side. His left hand was in a cast, three fingers held out straight with plaster. It took him a second to focus on me and when he did the fight went out of his shoulders and he slumped. I approached him slowly, my hand going up to his cheek where I could see a barely there bruise at the end of healing. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand, taking several ragged breaths.

“I really didn’t want to involve you, not like this…” Steve whispered.

“You should have come and gotten me sooner if there was a possibility that it would help. Really Steve,” it was coming out angrier then I wanted it too. “Its us remember, not you guys and me.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry for so much.”

“Don’t Steve; you didn’t do this to him.” He grabbed me hard and pulled me against him, the rough plaster of his cast digging into me back. I just held onto him, giving him what he needed.

They looked after everyone, but at the end of the day, who looked after them? I did, and Pepper and Jane, along with a select few others. They were human too after all.

I don’t know how long Steve held me, but it was long enough that it made Tony uncomfortable and he cleared his throat noisily.

“Give it a break Tony” Clint smacked him in the arm, eliciting a grunt.

“I don’t want you to have to see him like this, but for whatever reason he remembers you as you were before we left. Your name keeps coming up. Don’t do anything that scares you…”Steve didn’t know what to say, I could tell.  
“Everything scares me.” I thought I needed to be honest. I still did all the things that scared me though, like tasering the god of thunder and helping vanquish dark elves. Not to mention dating 2 super soldiers…

I followed Bruce and Steve, Tony and Natasha trailing behind us down the hall. We stopped just before a large doorway that looked to open into a large room.

"I won't be far okay, just around the corner out of his line of sight" Steve tipped my face up with his fingers knuckles on my chin.

I just nodded, my momentary confidence gone.

All of this had happened so fast.

"I've seen him like this before Darcy. I'm not going to lie, it's bad. The more worked up you get the worse it'll be" Natasha briefed me.

My heart was hammering so hard I was sure Steve could hear it.

"You don't have to do this baby." Steve was still clutching me hand, preventing me from walking further. I guessed the cell Buck was in was just around the corner.

"Shut up, you know I do." I kissed him quickly and turned without meeting his eyes.

Natasha was just standing in front of a giant pane of glass. I knew it wouldn't be straight up glass if it was meant for Bruce's Other Guy, but that's what it looked like.

Bucky was sitting with his back against another pane, across from where we entered. His head was on his knees and his arms were wrapped around his legs. He was still in his uniform but it was ripped and torn. I assumed there was blood on it but it wouldn't be visible against the black. His hair was a mess and I could see his back heaving up and down with heavy breaths.

"What do I..." I was going to ask what to do, but the second I spoke he looked up, his pupils wide following the sedation no doubt.

His face was stained with blood, a nasty gash across one cheek.

No one moved for 10 second or so, but before I could speak again he was up and at the glass, pounding on it with all his might.

Natasha shoved me behind her and started speaking in Russian. He spit his answers back at her and among the words I heard my name.

I just stared at him, shocked at how different he looked. Other then when I'd seen him after Steve's injury he had been so relaxed, lightness to him. He no longer had that.

He looked like a monster.

The little hairs all over my body stood up as he turned from Nat and made eye contact with me. His hands were up against the glass, splayed wide. His eyes were pleading with me. I didn't see any of the harshness he had looked at Natasha with.

"Darcy?" He questioned

"Yeah Buck" my voice shook, barely above a whisper.

“Is that my name? What you know me by?” he mumbled and my heart dropped.

“Yeah, your name is James Buchanan Barnes, I call you Bucky.”

He turned from me and glared at Natasha, pissed she was listening to us talk.

The Winter Soldier was absolutely terrifying.

“That’s what she told me, what the mission told me. I don’t believe them. But if you tell me that’s my name, then that’s my name.”

“What did you think your name was?” I was curious what they had called him.

“I have always just been called the asset, except when I am with you. I can remember being with you, but there are holes, I can’t make my mind work right. I do know you though Darcy. I know that I love you…” he was quiet now.

“I love you too…”the look in his eyes flashed from relief at seeing me to uncertainty. “What is it?” I asked, moving closer.

“I know you, I recognize you deep down inside, but something is wrong, something is missing…”

Steve. 

He seemed so unsure; all I wanted to do was hug him. I knew Steve was watching, I could feel all their eyes on me. I didn't want to risk looking over at him though, alerting Buck that he was there.

"Yeah Buck, it's me. Are you okay, what do you need?" Seemed like dumb questions but I didn't know what else to ask him.

"I'd feel a lot better if you were in here with me. I don't trust them," he tilted his head at Natasha. "Has The Soldier tried to talk to you? Don't trust him okay."

It took me a second to understand. He was calling Steve the Soldier. His tone was completely off too. No hint of his Brooklyn accent, just stern and deep speech.

"How did they find you, get you here?" He kept his palms against the glass and I laid one of mine against the glass against his flesh hand. "I would feel a lot better if you were in here with me. Are they hurting you?"

I was so confused. Why did he remember me, us, but not anyone else as they had been before he left? It seemed like he was trying to remember, that Steve, or whole relationship was trying to break through. They weren’t able to block it, erase it, whatever, because everything he did with me, was tied in with Steve as well. 

"Okay baby, okay. Let me just talk to them. See if I can come in with you okay." I walked back towards the wall, shaking. Steve pulled me into a hug and buried his face in my hair.

"We can't just let her go in there. What if this is a trap, what if he's planning to use her as a hostage to force us to let him go? Or give up Steve?" Tony was by my side, glaring at Steve. "Do you mind?"

We completely ignored him.

"Darcy?" Clint looked at me.

"I don't think he will hurt me. He thinks you guys are the threat to me, I don't see a grand plan other then him putting himself between me and you" I gestured with two fingers.

"I don't like it" Tony stated, he put a hand on my shoulder and pulled me back from Steve's gentle embrace towards him.

I turned and rolled my eyes at him. Somewhere along the way during the mission the full extent of my relationship with the boys got out. Daddy dearest didn't seem to appreciate it, not that he had a say.

"I don't exactly like it either, wait, can he hear us talking?" I looked back in the direction of the cell.

"I turn the speakers on and off Darcy, without it the walls to the Hulk Chamber are completely sound proof" our friendly AI spoke up.

I let out a sigh. Thank Odin.

"He doesn't recognize anyone?" I asked them, clarifying our situation. All I kept seeing were Bucky's dead eyes in the back of my mind. An involuntary shiver shook my frame. Steve pulled me into his side and ran his hand up and down my back.

"No, no one. Well except Natasha, but whatever he remembers, it's not good. He knocked her out..." Clint told me, ignoring Natasha's glare.

"I don't get it, why me? You'd think Steve..." I trailed off only beginning to realize just how painful this must be for him.

"My hypothesis?" Bruce asked me, standing very close to Natasha.

"Sure" we all turned and looked at him expectantly. This must be new and I stopped, waiting, listening as intently as the others. "When we brought down Hydra we found specific trigger words that they had imbedded in James psyche, certain words that would bring him back to the asset and undo everything we've done."

That would be why he didn't go on Hydra missions. Made sense.

"I think this is similar, a spell, magic, whatever you want to call it. Its design was to bring Bucky into the asset. But because it's magic or whatever, it's not a physical change. I believe it's more like a screen pulled down over what he remembers since we found him."

I watched Bruce sneer every time he said the word magic. But a guy who turned into an enormous green rage monster could not discount the impossible.

"I think it was specifically engineered for him. The screen was built to block all of us individually and specifically. The thing is, Darcy is new. She's only been here for a short time. I think that they didn't know about her. When Loki's consorts designed this spell they did not know about Darcy or her relationship with Bucky so all of that has stayed in tact."

We all stared at him as he pulled off his glasses and cleaned them on his coat.

"Just when I think shit can't get any weirder..." Clint sighed.

“So he remembers me,” I start. “What is me going in there and being with him going to do?” I didn’t want to point out the obvious but I had too. He remembered me, which was awesome. Just because he remembered me, could touch me, wouldn’t bring him back to his right mind. It would be great if it was just like the fairy tales, a kiss could solve all of our problems. Life wasn’t like fairy tales though.

Maybe the Brothers Grimm versions.

“My hope isn’t that he will touch you and automatically snap out of it. What I want is for him to keep calm, to buy us some time, to buy Thor some time to figure out just what the hell happened to him out there.” Bruce sat heavily on a chair against the wall. Natasha rubbed her hand up and down his back and I heard him sigh heavily.

“Try to get him to eat something. He refuses to eat anything we give him, I don’t think he’s had anything in 3 days” Steve handed me 2 brown bags that were on the floor against the wall.

I looked inside and saw bottled water, sandwiches, fruit and small bags of chips.

“If he sees me already drinking this when I walk in, that nothing is happening to me then maybe he will clue in that you guys aren’t trying to poison him” I cracked a bottle of water and took a sip.

“Just be careful okay” I nodded at Steve as I pulled my hand from his.

“I don’t like this at all” I heard him mutter to Nat. “Trading ones safety for the other...”

I didn’t hear the rest, I was standing in front of what I thought was the door to the cell.

“Asset, please, stand facing the back wall with your hands on top of your head while I open the door and let Ms Lewis in. If you refuse she will not be permitted entry” JARVIS informed Bucky over the speaker while I stood and watched him do as he was asked, my heart breaking.

The door slid open with a hiss and I took a deep breath, clutching my bagged lunches in one hand and my bottle of water in the other. Stepping in the door closed just as quickly as it opened.

Bucky turned quickly and was in front of me before I could adjust to the sensory deprivation of the cell.

“Doll, did they hurt you?” he ran his hands into my hair and I caught the glint of red blood over the silver of his prosthetic arm and shivered. “Don’t believe anything they say okay, The Soldier…” he stumbled over his words and a hand went to his forehead. “He can’t be trusted. I need to kill him, and I will for doing…” he stalled out again, seeming to struggle more now with what was going on in his head now that I was in the room with him.

“They didn’t do anything to me. I am totally fine, I don’t want you to worry about that okay?” I patted the hand that was on my cheek. “I made us food though. You really need to eat something.”

He glanced towards the glass pane and smirked when he saw Natasha standing there, watching us.

“You made this, they didn’t give it to you?” he asked, opening a bag. I heard his stomach growl and sighed.

“You need to eat love, okay. This was made by me, I promise its fine” I took a sip from my bottle and smiled.

He led me over to the small cot in one corner and we sat down. He opened one bag and had an entire sandwich down and had started on an apple before I even got my bag open. I knew that his advanced metabolism required a lot of food and that fact that he hadn’t eaten in 3 days made me very sad. I passed him my bag and he looked at me.

“I ate before I came; I brought these because I didn’t know how long I would be out for.”

He nodded and tucked into the next bag of food.

“Now Buck, can I ask you some questions?”

He nodded at me, his mouth still full.

“”You said The Soldier, do you mean Captain America?” I asked, trying to keep my tone gentle and calm.

“Yes, he is my mission, my target.”

“Bucky, I want you to listen to me okay. You trust me right?” I asked, setting a hand on his metal arm.

“I trust you doll.”

“You are not the asset anymore love. They saved you, the soldier saved you.”

He stopped moving and his hands formed into fists. “Is that what they told you; is that what he told you?”

“No Buck, that’s what I know. Steve has been your best friend since you were young, before you were the asset, before Hydra, before the Avengers. Do you remember any of that?” I was speaking quietly but could tell the moment the speakers kicked on so that those outside could listen to our conversation.

“That’s not right. I just…I know…The Soldier is my mission” the tone of his voice went deeper and he pressed his palm to his forehead again. Whatever they had done to him was hurting him. Trying to remember things from before made it hurt more.

Did anything these poor people go through not hurt?”

“Okay Buck, okay. Its okay, just breath okay. Concentrate on my voice okay.” I leaned in as close as I could to him, but the hairs on the back of my neck were up again and I was starting to shake. Maybe I should have just stayed with him, taken my time. No one had told me what I was supposed to say to him once I was in here. I don’t think they even knew.

“I’m so glad you are here and that I remember…” he froze again, after leaning in to hug me, his face in my shoulder.

“Why doll?” he whispered, the tone in his voice completely different now.

“Why what?”

“Why do you smell like him?” I froze as he rose to his feet, a murderous look in his eye.

I couldn’t even speak, I stood and back up against a pane. My joints locked down totally and I started to shake harder.

“I was in the car with him in the way here; he helped me put my coat on. Bucky please.” I was so scared of him at this moment, but what I said seemed to sooth him, or at least confuse him enough to calm him down and he sat heavily again.

“I doll, I…My head hurts so damn bad. I remember you, I remember us, but I can’t…” he was rubbing his head again, his whole face in his hands. 

I saw a flash and looked up, seeing Steve’s back disappear back around the corner. He had probably come running when Bucky started to loose his temper.

“When was the last time you slept?” I was trying everything now, my voice barely making any sound.

“They had me sedated...”

“No Buck, sleep. Actual sleep?”

“I don’t know. It just hurts.”

“I know it does, why don’t you just lay down on here for a little while. I promise I will stay here with you and I will wake you if anything happens okay. Ill stay right on the cot with you.” He was just so confused, switching between absolutely terrifying and totally helpless moment to moment.

Sleep couldn’t hurt.

“Sure, yeah okay.” He nodded and lay down after I sat, resting his head in my lap.

“It’s okay Buck. Just take a few deep breaths okay.” I started to run my hand through his hair, pulling on a knot that I was pretty sure was blood and cringed internally.

Bucky shifted closer in my lap and sighed. Slipping quickly into sleep, his poor abused brain not knowing which way was up.

A tear escaped, followed quickly by another. I sat and cried silently over Bucky while Steve stood and watched us from outside the cell.

He was dirty and out of his mind but he was home. They all were home.

I just hoped that I could buy us enough time so Bruce or Thor could find a way to help him, to help us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading. Sorry to leave a cliff hanger. It was getting so long. I'll try to update soon.


	14. You want to do what?

4 days passed and during that time Bucky, the team and I fell into a quick and uneasy routine.

No one else came into the line of sight of the cell but Natasha. I knew they were there all the time though, either just around the corner or watching me over the camera that was flashing away in the corner.

I explained to Bucky as soon as he woke up from that first nap that I would not, under any circumstances, be relieving myself on the toilet in the cell. It was only blocked from view by a small wall.

I loved him and everyone watching/listening but they didn't need to hear me pee. End of story.

I also would prepare food for him while I was out of the cell. He would only eat it if it came from my hand.

Every time I'd come back into the cell his eyes would flicker between love, fierce protection and absolute uncertainty.

I did not want him to go totally back into The Asset, but watching him in some no mans land between The Asset and Bucky was painful. It made me absolutely sick to my stomach.

I didn't think it was possible to loathe Loki more than I already did. I've been surprised before.

He would sleep in 2 hour slots and he always had to be touching me. His head would either be in my lap or we would be cuddled up on the small cot.

I'd brought clean clothes down for him and cleaned up his wounds. It was painful knowing that they all came from fighting them, us, his family. They'd done what they could but between his advanced strength and his metal arm it took either Thor, or Steve and Tony in the suit to get him in a position for sedation. That's what Steve's broken hand was from, and the gash on Bucky’s cheek. The fact that they healed 10x faster didn't make me feel better.

Steve would be at my side as soon as I rounded the wall next to the cell. I think he was sleeping as little as Buck and I were, maybe less.

He was scared to touch me after Bucky smelled his after shave on me.

It was horrible.

It was like living in a broken home, trying to split time between 2 families.

We were completely lost. Bucky went between complete calm at times when I was there to outright panic when he could remember me, but could tell chunks of our relationship were missing.

My reassurances only went so far. He knew something was wrong with him, but at the same time knew without a doubt that those people on the other side of the glass were his enemies.

Bruce was out of ideas and Natasha had started having nightmares from her time in the red room again. Bruce had let me know during one of my shower/bathroom breaks as to why she no longer stood guard outside of the cell.

Horrible wasn't the right word, it was a fucking nightmare was what it was.

I climbed out of the shower the evening of my fourth day with The Asset when thunder and lightning sounded outside. I ran out in my towel to check and make sure it was Thor. The storm ended as soon as it started and had me throwing on VS sweats and a tank, my hair a wet tangle down my back as I ran out of my room.

I took the elevator to the common floor. Thor usually crashed upon us by way of the balcony that the jet landed on. To my intense relief he stood there, his cape blowing out behind him, as I ran at him.

He caught me and hugged me tight, accepting my body weight as I sagged into him.

I knew instantly that he did not have the news we had all been praying to Odin for. He was tense, his spine straight and his sides rigid.

I didn't want to look at his face. I knew it as only been just over a week since whatever it was, was done to Bucky, but it felt hopeless. You could only fuck with someone's mind so many times before it just wasn't fixable anymore. If I kept hugging him, staying in the moment, I could still hold into a small glimmer of hope.

"Lady Darcy, we must find Banner. I bring news from Asgard that I fear can only be truly understood by his ears."

I sighed.

"Lady Darcy? Please, my time here is short. I must deliver my message and take my Jane back to Asgard with me" his voice was quieter then normal, but held an urgency I was not used to hearing.

Take Jane?

I just nodded and took his large hand, following him slowly to the elevator.

He was the best big brother a girl could ask for but his directness and tone often portrayed more of his thoughts then a humans would. I usually found it comforting. 

Today, it was not. 

Bruce was in his lab staring blankly at an empty dry erase board. If I had to guess, this whole thing with Bucky had aged one of the unageable men in this tower 10 years.

"Banner!" Thor boomed "Just the man I was searching for, come, I must relay some news," Thor patted Bruce's shoulder heavily, letting go of my hand.

They stood, staring at me for a moment before I realized I needed to leave.

I grumbled but left. I needed a hug. Steve would be best but I would settle for Clint too.

I found Steve sitting totally still in the waiting room on the med floor, his face in his hands.

I sat heavily next to him and he peaked from between his fingers to look at me.

"Hug me" I whispered and he hesitated a moment before opening his arms. I crawled into his lap, straddling his thighs and wrapped my arms around his neck. He held me tightly and took deep breaths with his face pressed into my neck.

"Thor?" He asked quietly.

I just nodded.

"News?"

“I think so, but I don't think it's anything we're going to like." I wasn't going to lie.

"Is it ever?" Steve commented. He was having a pity party, which he totally deserved. He had come back from a stressful mission, his boyfriends mind didn't come back with them and he could barely touch his girlfriend.

Sometimes life is complicated. If you are an Avenger, it's always complicated.

I knew I had to get back to Bucky but Steve and I had both needed this and we held each other tightly. Minutes passed and just as I was going to pull back I felt his lips on my neck.

It felt amazing and I leaned into the contact. His lips traveled to the sensitive spot under my ear and I arched into him, his hands traveling up my spine under my tank.

I was just about to let out a breathy moan when a throat cleared behind me. I would recognize that throat clear anywhere and knew it'd be Bruce. I just hoped he was alone.

Steve kissed me gently once more and helped me dismount. Bruce, Jane and Thor stood in the doorway.

"It is nice to see that despite our current troubles you two are able to maintain your sexual enthusiasm. Such a thing is vital to warriors on Asgard" Thor boomed, as my face flamed red.

Steve stepped in front of me and I was thankful for the minute I was given to get my bearings.

"That's um," Steve cleared his throat "great Thor."

Jane started laughing out loud but quickly slapped a hand over her mouth, unable to catch herself before she let it slip.

"Its bad news isn't it?" I asked, standing up beside Steve. "We've got nothing?"

"It's not good news no, but we definitely have something..." Bruce spoke up, the blush from catching us fading from his cheeks.

If only that man knew what I’d seen him doing...

"I'm almost scared to ask" Steve sounded a little breathy and I felt what little hope I had start to fade. If Captain America was scared then things were worse than bad.

A massive amount of scenarios started racing through my head as we all organized in the waiting room, taking seats in the tense environment.

Bruce said they had something.

Something could mean anything.

Hand Bucky over to Odin; see if he could fix his poor brain.

Beat the ever living shit out of Loki, hope he gives us something. That was more of a wish then an actual solution.

Brain surgery.

Some weird SHIELD experiment. They brought iPod thief back from the dead, maybe they could help Buck.

The truth was, that it didn't matter how they fixed Bucky, as long as they fixed him and it worked.

For a brief second I entertained the notion that it might not. We might not fix him, or he might...die in the process of us trying.

My heart seized in my chest and immediately jumped to Steve. I knew just as quickly though, that if something happened to Bucky I would not have Steve. We could not be us without one of us. Maybe there would be a hollow shell, something we hung on too, but it wouldn't be us. And I knew, knew with my whole being that Steve Rogers was not Steve Rogers without James Buchanan Barnes. Since they had found each other again they had become so dependent on each other, so totally intertwined that I didn't think one could ever be whole again without the other.

The adults had started talking and my hind brain bumped my frontal lobes, telling me to pay attention.

"Thor discussed Bucky's past and what's going on now with some of the physicians on Asgard. They didn't have any concrete solutions on how to help Bucky like this, his past, the brainwashing, things are different for him." Bruce had the arm of his glasses in his mouth, chewing away as he talked.

I slid forward in my seat and pulled them from his mouth. I'd already replaced his glasses twice since I'd been back.

He grimaced at me and kept talking "they did supply us with one suggestion that may work, but I just...I can't..."

Oh god.

What the fuck was it?

"We are just waiting for Tony," Jane spoke next, resting a hand on Bruce's shoulder.

They needed the entire brain trust for this one. Not good.

"Kid," Tony nodded at me as he entered. He didn't "make an entrance" however and that fact alone chilled me straight to the bone. I felt Steve stiffen beside me, "Capsicle."

"Tony."

"The reason we need Tony here is because JARVIS will play a massive part in this plan, if you decide to follow through with it" Bruce nodded to Tony as he took his seat.

"Enough" Steve used his Captain voice and we all turned to him. I grabbed his hand and squeezed. Mine was clammy and he squeezed back so hard I felt my bones creak. "Tell us, now. Whatever it is, I can't stand this."

"Have patience Comrade, the plan is not without risks. It must be explained properly as to eliminate all doubts, so that the proper decision can be reached" Thor spoke, his normal voice rivalling Steve's Captain Voice.

Steve took a long steadying breath but did not relax his posture. His gaze was intense, right at Bruce, pushing him to continue.

"It has been explained to me that some spells can not be undone. If the brain is damaged or altered prior to this new invasion then returning the mind to its previous state may not be possible, however" he didn't seem to be pausing to gather his thoughts, Bruce was pausing because this was painful.

"However, if the brain is restarted, if the electrical impulses that the spell is surviving on are stopped, the spell with loose its grip and dissipate."

I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. Restart and brain should not be used in the same sentence. Ever.

How did you restart someone's brain?

"Restart his brain?" Steve asked the question I was too afraid to.

"If we stop the electrical impulses in Bucky's brain for between 4 to 6 minutes, that should be enough time for the voodoo to get gone. We will start em' right back up and when he wakes up he will, hopefully, be back to the ex HYDRA assassin we all know and love" Tony said, his usual flair back in his voice.

"Okay. I'm not a genius like you guys, I'm by no means stupid though" I held my hand up, trying to get a handle on what they just said. "By stopping the electrical impulses in his brain, won't that kill him?"

"Technically yes. We need to kill Bucky to save him."

Steve stood and started to pace.

"Okay, okay, so let me get this straight?" I was angry now. "Once you kill Bucky, how do you plan on bringing him back? And 4 to 6 minutes? That seems like a long time."

"Think of it like restarting your laptop after it dies. You weren't paying attention and the battery dies in the middle of typing out a large document. You are careful to save every so often and once you plug your machine back in and open the program; the only thing you are missing is what was done between your last save and the crash. The core of the document, the way it was before is still intact" Tony explained, his posture relaxed in his chair.

"Major difference though, Buck is a person not a machine and his brain is not made of code. It can't just be corrected like a computer program. He can, it can," I paused, trying to find my words. "If his brain doesn't start back up I can't just go to Staples and buy a new Bucky" I finished with a hysterical edge in my voice.

"It would be controlled Darce, monitored in every way feasible" Jane reached for my hand but I snatched it away. She looked pained for a minute but then continued, “because of the experiments done on Bucky, his advanced metabolism and expedited healing abilities, I think we will be able to restart his heart and his brain will follow even on borderline clinical brain death.”

I didn’t know what my face looked like, but I could only imagine. Brain death? No fucking way.

"Our plan would be to slowly put him to sleep, the same as they would do in a lethal injection" I shrunk back at the term but Bruce pushed through. "We would stop his heart for only as long as it takes for us to stop receiving electrical impulse readings from his brain. He would be covered in freezer packs, lowering his core body temperature slowly to preserve all functions in the few minutes he will be unresponsive.”

Not unresponsive, dead. In the few minutes he was dead. 

"And this, this is our only option?" Steve finally spoke.

I looked at him, shocked, no freaking way were we going to kill Bucky.

"I have come up with nothing Steve. Believe me please, if there was any other way, even the slimmest possibility of another option, we would be trying it first" Bruce was using his bedside voice.

"Do it" Steve nodded once, his arms crossed across his chest as he stood behind me.

"Steve, no!"

"Darcy, what are our other options?"

"I don't know, but killing him, really? This is not fiction, this is real life and people die. Things don't always work out the way we plan" I was completely hysterical now. The tears finally starting to fall down my cheeks.

"You don't understand baby, he made me promise" Steve came around the sofa and knelt down in front of me.

"We will give you guys a few..." Jane shoved Bruce and Tony, both of them finally cluing in and following her out.

"Promise what? I squeaked, not caring about the tears and snot running everywhere.

"He made me promise that I would never let them take him again. That if HYDRA ever made him The Asset again that I would kill him. No questions. I’m pretty sure that if I can’t, then he asked the same thing of Natasha. He said he couldn't live like that anymore" the catch in Steve's voice hinted at how close to tears he was too. "The only thing keeping him in the here and now is you, and that's barely. I can see it Darce, I can see the look on his face."

“You know he could die right. Like not just for a few minutes die, but die for real?” I used my angry tone. I didn’t know why I was so angry, but I felt like hitting something.

“What are our other options?” Steve was picking up on my anger and reciprocating with his own. “Keep him, and by proxy you, locked up in the Hulk Chamber for at least the rest of your life? Because remember, we don’t age like you do.” He was really going now, pacing again, back and forth in front of the couch I was on.

“Steve, I…” he didn’t let me continue.

“We certainly can’t let him go. That is a can of worms I’m not even going to begin to open. I trust Bruce, Jane and Tony. I might have my issues with Tony, but I trust him. They wouldn’t have brought this idea to us if there were any other options” Steve all but yelled at me. He was panting heavily and I was shaking on the couch.

His anger didn’t scare me; I grew up in foster care. He could yell at me all he wanted. What scared me was his total willingness to go along with this loco plan.

“You do realize that if something happens to him, something happens to you right? That I wouldn’t just be loosing him, I would eventually loose you too. That sounds selfish and call it what you want, but despite my best efforts I am completely lost when it comes to the 2 of you. I love you, a lot. I need you guys. I didn’t realize how bad it was until you left on the mission and I became a robot. Seriously, if it wasn’t for Jane and Pep I don’t know what I would have done. And Nat, you think she can just kill Bucky? I know you couldn’t. I don’t know what to do Steve, but there has to be something else. There has to be a better option then giving our boyfriend a lethal injection while keeping him on ice in hopes of restarting his brain once it stops firing without the crazy hocus pocus currently attached to it.” I met his anger head on.

“You haven’t seen him like that Darcy. Seeing someone you have loved for decades, who you thought was dead come up to you with nothing but a single minded thirst for your blood. You are right, I probably couldn’t kill him. I know I couldn’t back on the helicarrier. But I will not let him live in no mans land. I will not let him spend the rest of his days, however many he has, not trying to save him. He would rather die with us trying to bring him back to himself then let him rot away in that cell totally out of his mind while we sit around and grieve a death that hasn’t actually happened.”

He wasn’t yelling at me anymore but he was using the Cap voice and we were standing toe to toe. His arms were crossed across his chest and my hands were on his hips.

“And you? What will happen with you if he doesn’t make it?” I was whispering now, my tears starting again.

“I don’t know. I have you right?” his arms unfolded and a hand went to my cheek.

“You will always have me Steve” I laid my hand over his. “But you and I both know that as much as I wish that would be enough, it just wouldn’t be.”

“Tell me what to do then, please!” we were back to anger as he raised his voice and stepped away from me.

“I have no fucking idea Steve. I, as a general rule, shy away from any plan that has the words brain dead in it" I shouted back at him. 

“I am making this decision. You haven’t been around long enough to veto this, and I think it is the best course of action.”

I stepped back like Steve had slapped me.

“You know what Steve, you are right. You are absolutely right. What was I thinking…?” I stepped around him and started to head to the door. I was certain in that moment that Steve’s hand on my cheek was the last time we would be intimate. Bucky was going to die, and Steve would die right along with him.

“Baby, that’s not what I meant” Steve tried to put a hand on my arm to stop me but I pulled it from his reach.

“No Steve, that is what you meant. And you are right.” I wasn’t mad anymore, and I wasn’t crying. My voice sounded dead.

“Where are you going?”

“To see Bucky. I want to spend some time with him before…” I started to choke up again so I stopped talking.

“Before you go and see him, will you do something for me?” he asked, no longer trying to touch me.

“You know I will.”

“JARVIS?” Steve looked from me to the ceiling.

“Captain Rogers, how may I be of service?”

“The footage from the camera in the alley when I first found Barnes, do you still have it?” Steve asked the AI.

“Yes Captain.”

“That’s good. Can you please transfer that footage as well as the stuff we have from after, when we were in the recovery centre, and the stuff from this past week as well, all onto Darcy’s Stark Pad, please?” Steve asked, not breaking eye contact with me.

“Of course Captain Rogers, will there be anything else?”

“No JARVIS, that will be all. Thank you.” Steve moved a step closer.

“My pleasure.”

“Watch the footage Darcy, please. I know this is horrible, but believe me when I say he would rather go down fighting, then end up back like that.”

“Yeah Steve, okay.” I couldn’t deny him anything. I couldn’t deny any of them anything.

“I am going to tell Bruce that we should move forward with this as soon as we can. I don’t want him staying like this for any longer then he has too.” Steve was close enough to touch me again, but he didn’t reach out. “This will go a lot smoother if you are with us, if you are with me. I need you too, you know.” He tipped my face up to look at him with is knuckles.

I just nodded and turned away. I needed to be by myself for a few minutes. I knew that the stuff I was going to see on the footage would be the stuff of nightmares.

~~~*~~~

I don’t know how I made it up to my room, and I don’t know who I ran into along the way. Suddenly I was standing in my living room though, in front of my coffee table, staring at the Stark Pad sitting on top of it.

Slowly I sat down, pulling a blanket onto my legs and the tablet into my lap. I gathered my courage and turned the device on, clicking on the new icon that J had so thoughtfully placed right there on the first screen.

I tapped it and stared at the 3 options for me to watch.

They all had different dates and after some careful thought I decided to start at the beginning, watch the street cam footage from the day that Steve found Bucky. I wasn’t sure how they had this, but it was Tony Stark, who was I kidding.

I hit the tiny triangle on the video clip and leaned back into the cushions.

The clip started, it was grainy and black and white, but there was sound which surprised me. I could see along a long alleyway with 3 dumpsters along one side and a metal door without a handle at the end. There were a couple bags of garbage on the ground and a pile of blankets and cardboard in one corner.

I sucked in a deep breath as I realized that the pile of blankets was a person. And that person was Bucky.

I watched the pile shift and his head appeared. I listened to the sounds of traffic and the background rumble of packed New York sidewalks. Bucky suddenly jumped up, moving so his back was against a dumpster, his hands out in front of him. 2 other figures entered the shot, one was obviously Steve, I recognized the other as Sam, The Falcon, who I hadn’t personally met but I knew he was there with Steve through his entire hunt for Bucky,

He was dressed warmly, but that was the only positive thing on this clip. 

“You…you are the soldier…” Bucky said, a hand going to his forehead, the other staying protectively out in front of him.

The sound was horrible; I could just make out what they were saying.

“Yeah, Bucky, it’s me Steve.” Steve and Sam had stopped approaching Bucky and just stood there, half a dozen feet away from him, giving him his space.

“You keep calling me Bucky. The museum, they had pictures of me with the name Bucky too…” he sounded very much the same in this video as he did half of the time he talked down in the cell he was in now. Totally lost, totally confused and scared out of his ever loving mind. All things I was sure he was not used to feeling.

“Yeah man. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Are you…”Steve paused. “Are you okay?”

“I know you right? I can feel it, deep down I could, even that day when I… oh fuck…” both of his hands went to his head now. “I wanted to kill you. They told me to kill you. That wasn’t me right? I don’t think it was me.” Bucky was crying now. I could hear it through the hysteria in his voice. Even through the grainy video and crappy sound quality you could tell that he was absolutely broken.

“No Buck, that wasn’t you, that isn’t who you are. I promise that is not who James Barnes is.” Steve was moving closer to Buck in the video, Sam stayed where he was.

“I don’t know. I think I know and then I remember something else. Some of it makes sense but most of it doesn’t. I can’t see me through the fog, but I can, I can see you…” Bucky’s knees buckled now. Steve ran to him as he totally caved in on himself.

“What can you see Buck?” Steve was on his knees in a puddle in front of Bucky. His hands were in front of him, itching to touch the broken man.

I couldn’t hear what was said next, but I watched the two men talk back and forth, leaning in closer and closer together.

Out of no where Bucky shot up, shoving Steve hard with both hands, sending him tumbling over himself into a heap in the puddle.

“Don’t” Bucky roared. “Don’t touch me. I’m wrong, there’s something wrong with me. Don’t touch me, I wreck everything I touch. I don’t want to wreck you too.” He was hollering at the top of his lungs as Sam helped Steve up off the ground.

“Bucky, you won’t wreck me. Yes you are confused, but I can help you. Me and my friends can help you figure out what was done to you and help you remember who you were, who you are now. Please Buck,” I heard Steve’s voice crack the same as it had downstairs.

“They will come for me. They always come for me.”

“No Bucky, they won’t. I won’t let them. We won’t let them, will we Sam?” Steve was moving closer to Bucky again, but gestured back to Sam.

“We have been through hell trying to find you man, please, let us help you. We will do everything we can to protect you, to help you get right. Once you are, you can keep yourself safe. How does that sound hey?” Sam was standing a distance back again in a very non threatening pose.

“Is there a bed?”

My heart broke in my chest. Bucky sounded like a scared child and a wounded animal all rolled into one. 

Did I really want him to stay like this?

“Yeah, a warm bed, all the food you can eat. We will get you cleaned up and comfortable. Then, when you are ready we can try and help you okay. How does that all sound?” Something about Sam’s voice made me trust him instantly. I needed to knit that man something.

“You won’t let them get me again though will you? You, you, you said you wouldn’t…” Bucky stuttered over his words as Steve laid a hand on his arm.

“No Bucky, I wont let them take you again.” Steve wrapped an arm around his shoulders slowly, urging him forward.

I watched Sam press a finger to his ear and say a few quiet words. Probably calling for back up and transport.

“And you?” I heard Bucky ask.

“Me?” Steve asked confused, his whole body ridged.

“You won’t let me get you right?” was the last thing I heard from them as they disappeared out of the screen shot.

I sat back, not bothering to reach forward and hit the other video clips.

Steve was right. He did know Bucky better, but I wanted to get to know him just as well. There was no way I was going to get that chance if he stayed like that, like this. 

I couldn’t let him stay like this, waste away as a hollow shell of himself simply so I could keep him. He deserved better.

Shit.

I picked up my phone and called Steve.

“Okay Steve, you were right.” I started crying quietly. 

“Baby, it’ll be okay. We haven’t come this far, been through this much. We didn’t just find you so that we could loose each other.”

“I’m usually the one with all of the faith” I whispered into the phone.

“I wish we had more time to talk about this Darce, but they started getting things ready as soon as they left the room. They want to do it now, as soon as we can. We need you.”

“Me?” I didn’t know what I could possibly do to help.

“You are the only one Bucky trusts, the only one who can get close enough to him. We need you to give him the sedative.”

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try and get the next one up soon. Sorry for another cliff hanger. And thanks for all the love.


	15. The Death of Bucky Barnes.

“Don’t” I held up my hand, stopping Steve’s approach towards me once he came up to my apartment.

“But Darcy…” he took a few more steps.

“No Steve. Remember telling me I hadn’t been around long enough to help you make choices when it came to Bucky?” I watched his shoulders slump. I was aware that this probably was not the best time, but I honestly didn’t care. Something had to give somewhere in a tense environment like this and my anger at Steve was what was breaking free.

“I didn’t mean it baby, I swear. It was just too much, you know. I need you both to be okay and…” he trailed off as I put my hands on my hips and started tapping my foot at him.

“First, don’t call me baby right now. You lost that right. Second, you made it clear today that is you 2 and then me. Maybe it’s not like that for Bucky, but I can tell it is still like that for you. Third, at no point have I thought I could come in and be to you guys after a couple of months what you are to each other after close to a century. I honestly thought you had more respect for me then that however. When all of this is over and Bucky is back, and fine, because that’s what’s going to happen, we are going to talk about this. I am not going to be a third wheel Steve Rogers. I will not become irrelevant like I was to Ian. I will not let myself be put into a position like that ever again. You have a little time, as long as it takes for him to get better to decide if this is really something that you want. If its not, then you will need to tell me. I love you and I don’t want this to be over, but I also need to put myself first and being in love with someone who thinks of you like second class citizen is not healthy.”

Steve stared at me for a minute, I knew we didn’t have very long before the others showed up. We had decided to meet at my place to go over a plan of action to sedate Bucky.

“This has just gone so wrong” he muttered and I nodded. “I want this Darcy, more then I can express. But I need Bucky to survive. I need to give him every opportunity to get back to a place where he can make his own choices. I am just so tired of making decisions for everyone…” Steve shrugged and for a minute I was able to see that sick skinny kid from back in the day.

My resolve weakened, but only for a moment. “We have bigger things to worry about then the state of our relationship Steve. I told you that you have time to think about things and I meant it. Let get through this, let see what life is like on the other side. Until then though we both need to look after Bucky” I had to look away from him. Captain America had the most insane kicked puppy dog eyes and I hated him for it.

Tony was the first one to reach my place and him and Pepper both walked in and stopped, picking up what we were throwing down. I felt them looking back and forth between the two of us and tried my best to give them a small smile.

“When this is over Rogers, you and I are going to have a discussion.” Tony spoke to Steve through his teeth.

“Sure Tony, whatever you want.” Steve didn’t put up any kind of a fight and Pepper sighed irritably over the macho male posturing her fiancé was demonstrating.

Bruce shuffled in with Natasha and Clint following close behind. Within a couple minutes everyone was in my living room or seated on the stools around my kitchen island.

“Now I will go through this one step at a time so that everyone knows their part. There is a lot of things that need to come together just so to make sure the outcome is a positive one” Bruce was looking at a pile of papers in a file on his lap. He was seated on my coffee table, central to everyone and he had our complete attention.

Jane gave me a couple quick glances and I managed to send her a small smile, apologizing for being a bitch earlier.

“The first step, and possibly one of the more vital parts next to actually getting his heart and brain started up again is the initial sedation. That is where Darcy and Steve will play a critical role..." He trailed off, gathering his thoughts. "Darcy, this is asking a lot, but as the only person the Sergeant trusts right now it's going to have to be you giving him the initial injection."

I swallowed and nodded.

"Darcy, you will enter Bucky's cell wearing a hoodie. I will give you a preloaded syringe before you enter and I want it to be in the pouch on the front. It'll need to be uncapped already for faster access and injection ability." I was nodding along with what Bruce was saying, trying my hardest to wrap my brain around it all.

"This is the part where Steve will come in," Nat leaned forward and looked at me. "You will head into the cell first, given a few seconds head start and then Steve will follow you in before the door closes. The plan..." Natasha was staring intently at me now, I started to squirm. "Is that Bucky will be so intently focused on Steve entering and forcing you behind him to protect you that he won't notice any tension on your part."

"I can't restrain him by myself if this goes bad" Steve spoke, drawing Natasha's gaze away from me.

"I will be close Captain, waiting at the ready should you require my assistance" Thor nodded at Steve.

"Bucky will be focused on Steve, Darcy; that will be your opportunity. You'll need to pull out the syringe and inject him in the neck or arm. Whatever skin you can get at. The needle will be able to inject through thinner fabric like cotton, but not through jeans."

I knew how round my eyes were, I just couldn't bring myself to blink. I was going to stick a needle in Buck from behind, literally stabbing him in the back.

"And as long as Darcy gets the sedative into him he should be out within a couple of seconds. Steve, if you could try and catch him, he'll go down fast" Bruce was back looking at his papers.

Holy Fuck.

I stood up and went around to the kitchen. I pulled Nat's vodka from my freezer and took a swig directly from the bottle. The stuff burned as it made its way down. I kept my eyes closed, trying to keep from coughing. The bottle was on its way to my lips again when it was stopped and pulled from my hand. I didn't fight its removal but I did keep my eyes clenched shut. I didn't want to even look at Steve Rogers right now.

"Kid, please" Tony whispered and I cracked one lid to peer at him. "Don't, don't do that. Booze won't help, believe me, I've tried."

I opened both eyes and looked into his. This was the first time I had seen any love behind Tony Stark’s eyes for someone other then Pepper. He may not have been a moral man, but he was trying. This whole thing, the Avengers, the tower, this big happy family of misfit toys, was his way of trying to atone for being such an ass.

"If you don't want to do this I will do it" he whispered to me. 

No one spoke; it was dead quiet in my apartment.

"Did you cause trouble for Ian with immigration and the IRS?" It had nothing to do with what was happening now, but to me, it seemed completely relevant.

"No?" He looked at me questioningly for a moment. "All I did was charge a bunch of sex toys and dolls and shit to his credit card" he paused for a minute. "I wish I'd done those other things though, those are genius."

I grinned at him and we both turned at the sound of Bruce clearing his throat.

"Immigration and the IRS were me."

"Really? My man!" Tony went to Bruce, sticking out his knuckles for a punch.

"Bruce?" I asked, beyond shocked.

"I tried to let it go Darcy, I did. It just kept nagging at me. And since subtlety is my middle name," he made a face at his own joke as Jane and I laughed out loud. "I thought those quiet, slow means of revenge would draw out his suffering enough to adequately appease myself. And you, of course."

Natasha was smiling like Sylvester after he got a crack at Tweety.

"I just, I mean...Thanks."

This took the sting out of what Steve had said earlier. I was not irrelevant. I made a difference here god damn it. I mattered to them like they mattered to me.

"Okay. I stick the needle in his neck, or wherever. Steve catches him, then what?" the vodka did its job and settled my nerves just a fraction, allowing me to keep my shit together.

"That's when we are on the clock. We need to get him on a gurney and multiple IV's in him before he can wake up."

"Natasha, Bruce and I can do the IV's" Jane spoke up. She was clutching Thor's hand so hard her knuckles were white.

"You can leave now if you'd like kid. This next part, it's not pretty" Tony was still standing next to me in the kitchen.

"No. I need to know."

"Can I be, can we be?" Steve gestured between me and him. "Can we be in there with him?"

"No. You don't want to see what we need to do" Bruce looked at Steve.

"But if this is it, if he doesn't make it, I don't want him to go without us." I hadn't forgiven Steve, but I'm not a heartless bitch either. I moved to sit next to him. I knew he was probably over compensating with the "us" thing, but I'd let him try. I was having the same thoughts.

He clasped my hand like a life line.   
“He will need more sedative before we begin the procedure so that we can make sure that he stays asleep. I want to limit any shock to his system. We will then begin the sedatives that will slowly stop his heart. They go in a specific order and it will take a couple minutes.”

I was taking deep gasping breaths, I felt like I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs. If it was possible for Captain America to look pale, that’s how he looked. We both just sat there holding onto each others hands, listening to the brain squad.

“It will take just a few minutes for his heart to stop; this is where it starts to get tricky. JARVIS will need to monitor all of Bucky’s vitals, including his brain waves. It will take between 4 to 6 minutes for us to stop receiving brain waves and for Bucky to be on the line of brain death. I want to hit the exact mark where there are still some readings from his brain stem, but not the brain itself.”

I had screwed my eyes shut and was panting in earnest now. No one could survive this. I couldn’t look at Steve.

“We will have to shock him in order to restart his heart. Once we can get a sinus rhythm we will use a high dose adrenaline injection straight into his heart, forcing his body into overdrive. The ice packs we will have packed around Bucky will prevent any immediate loss of organ viability for the time his heart will be stopped. It is our hope that he will come to as soon as the first shock is given.”

“Hope?” I asked Bruce through my tears.

“This is a medical procedure Darcy, but not a safe one. All the precautions I can take will be taken…but yes, hope.” Bruce sighed heavily.

“Okay. Hope.”

I really hated everyone in this room right now. I knew they were trying to help, and I loved them, but I hated them for doing this.

“Are you ready now Darce?” Bruce placed his hand on top of the one that Steve was also holding. “I would like to do it as soon as possible and you have been gone for some time, Bucky will be getting anxious for you.”

“I meant what I said kid, I’ll do it” Tony was standing behind the couch I was sitting on with Steve.

“No,” I roughly wiped the tears off my face and stood, letting go of Steve’s hand. “It has to be me. He doesn’t trust anyone else but me…”My voice broke and I wiped at my face again with my sleeve.

He trusted me now.

"We have everything ready and waiting downstairs” Bruce motioned towards the door.

I couldn’t be sure but in that moment I thought he looked a little green. I really hoped he wouldn’t Hulk out during the procedure. That was right next to Bucky dying on the list of things that needed to NOT happen today.

“Give me a minute with Darce guys, please.” Steve spoke quietly, still seated.

“Just a minute” Natasha gave him a look but left with everyone else.

Tony stood for just a moment, looking back and forth between the two of us and part of me wanted him to stay. I didn’t want to be alone with Steve. I wanted to both slap him and hug him. I knew from experience that that could lead to angry sex. I neither wanted to, nor did I think we had time for angry sex.

“Its okay Tony, just go. Ill be right behind you okay.” I gave him a weak smile.

“None of us have much in the way of family Rogers, but now Darcy has me. I don’t care if you think you are treating her well, its not good enough, do better.” Tony spoke from the door then turned and left, not giving the star spangled man with a plan time to respond.

“I’ll be quick” Steve said as he stood and approached me. “What I said and the way I acted, not only showed lack of respect for you, but for our entire relationship as well. I am disgusted with myself and looking back I see just how much of your emotional wellbeing I left to Bucky and its created a massive inequality in the way I have come to view you in this relationship. I didn’t realize it, and I am so sorry. I value your opinion and when this is over, when Bucky is fine and back with us I will apologize to him too. Do you think you can begin to forgive me?” He was standing right in front of me, his arms open and with a totally caring and concerned look on his face.

I stood, staring back. I was trying to get a read on his eyes, to see how much of what he was saying was reflected in the emotion on his face. No one had a poker face like Captain America. It was part of the job.

“You can’t be perfect Steve. I know you try and I know a lot of people just expect you to be. I can’t even imagine the stress you must be under, and with this, with everything with Bucky. I want to say that I know how you feel, and I do in a way. I love him, just like you do. Lets just survive this, come out together and we can go from there” I let him touch my cheek and sucked in a breath when I saw a tear in his eye.

“Just don’t give up on me Darcy…”

“Oh jeez ya big dummy,” I sighed “I’m not going to give up on you, just so long as no matter what happens, you don’t give up on you either.”

“I won’t. I just need to know that you are here with me though this” he was coming closer and closer, I kept backing up, trying to keep the space between us.

“When have I ever not been there for you, for any of you?” I hit the wall behind me.

“That’s different. You are amazing and supportive and caring. I think we have all just come to expect it. I think I just expected it. Bucky didn't know you before. He has only known you since you've come back, since you've needed us for a change. We were used to just needing you, not the other way around. I've taken you for granted and I'm sorry." His hands were against the wall on either side of my face now. I was completely trapped.

He slowly leaned in and I let him kiss me once, gently, so I could memorize the feeling. I wanted to be able to remember what it was like before...

"No Steve, not like this" I put my hand to his chest as his lips found my neck. "It's okay, we're okay. We will get through this together. I won't leave you. When this is over and we are all together, then we will talk."

He looked into my eyes, but regardless of what he saw we had to go and he knew that.

We made our way down to medical, joining the others in the hall outside his cell. I realized I had no memory of how I got down here. 

Like always, we all stayed out of sight. I could hear banging from around the corner, Bucky pounding at his cell walls, but nothing else. He would be getting anxious because I hadn’t come back. I usually wasn’t gone more than an hour. It had been much longer then that and guilt flooded my system. If this worked though, if this actually worked, it would all be worth it. I just prayed that Bucky saw it that way too.

“Darcy” Bruce made his way over to me. “This is the syringe.” He handed me a needle with the cap on. There was a lot of whatever it was loaded and ready to go. I knew he probably needed a whole hell of a lot more then a normal person would, but this looked like a lot.

“He knows what he's doing Darce, its okay” Jane was at my side and laid a hand gently on my back as I stared at the fluid I was supposed to inject Buck with.

“Take the lid off and put it in your pocket. We need to move fast, he is already really worked up.” I looked down at myself and realized I hadn’t grabbed a hoodie like instructed. Clint caught my moment of panic and slid his off, handing it to me. I pulled it over my head, thankful it was already warm. I was feeling so cold, starting to shiver. I took the needle from Bruce, uncapped it and slid it carefully into the pocket.

“Take these” Nat handed me a couple of brown bags like I usually brought back with me every time I left the cell. I premade a bunch most mornings, leaving them in the fridge in the waiting room. “Do not walk in with your hand in your pocket, carry one bag in each hand, and keep both of your hands visible until you are behind him. He trusts you yes, but you have been gone a long time and he will be worried, if not a little suspicious. Try and walk in like all is normal, tell him you had to catch up on a few emails, or that you had to make a phone call. And try not to make direct eye contact; he will be able to read that something is up all over your face.”

“Is that all?” I asked as I started to nervously chew on the inside of my cheek.

“I will be right behind you, no more then 3 or 4 seconds. We just need you to have enough time to get into the back of the cell. He needs room to get in front of you…” Steve was standing on my other side.

“He’s yelling for you. I’m going to have JARVIS turn on the audio. I want you to yell back to him that you are coming, just grabbing some food and then rush around the corner. J will tell him to move to the back of the cell facing away from the door and I want you to head in the second the door opens. Start muttering about being sorry it took so long, that’s when Steve will come in.”

I looked around at everyone’s faces. Tony looked about ready to call it all off. Clint stood stiffly, ready to do battle I was guessing. Thor was standing right next to Steve, prepared to help if the need should arise. Nat looked a lot more confident about my acting abilities than I was. Everyone else was, well, looking down, praying I supposed.

“You can do this Darce, I love you” Steve whispered.

“Shut up Cap” I nodded at Nat and she asked J to turn to sound on.

I could hear Bucky yelling my name, asking what they had done with me, where they had taken me. He was pounding against the glass with all his might but if the Hulk couldn’t break it, than he couldn’t either.

I gave Steve one last glance and sucked in a breath. I could be badass, or at least try. I could do this. I just hoped he trusted me this much after I knocked him out.

“I’m coming baby, sorry, sorry.” I ran around the corner, not giving myself much time to stop and think. He stopped banging on the wall and watched me.

“Sergeant Barnes, please stand facing the back wall with your hands on your head” JARVIS instructed.

He didn’t listen at first, just stood watching me. I pretended to struggle between juggling the paper bags while searching through my shoulder bag, not looking at him. I started to mentally panic, being careful to not look up at him and into his eyes like Nat instructed.

“Is everything okay, are you okay?” Bucky asked me through the wall, and I could feel his eyes on me.

I pulled my iPod out of my bag with one hand, pretending to struggle with the headphones being tangled. 

“Yes babe, of course. I just got caught up with some emails I needed to get done.” I prayed he couldn’t hear the panic in my voice, that he would mistake it for me be breathless from rushing.

From the corner of my eye I saw him move away from the glass and head towards the back of the cell. I stuffed my iPod back in my bag as he stood still. I entered as soon as the door opened and took a few steps inside. Bucky stayed facing the wall but spoke up once I was within range.

“Whose clothes are you wearing?”

Shit.

Shit, shit, shit!

“A friend, he left it at my place. It’s chilly out so I grabbed it as I was leaving to come back.” I had to make an extreme effort to keep the panic out of my voice now as I heard the door close behind me. I didn’t hear Steve come in but I could feel his presence behind me.

I was no more then 2 steps from Bucky as I dropped my bag and the food on the cot at the same time he turned to face me.

Everything happened so fast that I didn’t have time to think. Bucky looked behind me at Steve and shot forward, throwing one arm around my waist, pulling me back behind him. His stance was low, his arms out wide.

“Buck, I don’t want to hurt you…” Steve said clearly, taking a small step towards us.  
.  
Buck moved closer to me, I was almost sandwiched between him and the wall. I had to move fast or I would loose all range of motion. What was probably only seconds felt like ages as I slid my hand into my pocket and found the syringe.

Bucky said something back to Steve, but I wasn’t paying attention. I had my right hand wrapped around the needle with my thumb on the plunger. More angry words were being exchanged as I pulled it from my pocket. Taking one final deep breath, I lifted my arm up and without thinking I jabbed it into his neck and pressed the plunger down as hard as I could. I wanted to get the meds into him as quickly as possible, make this go as fast as possible.

His hand came up to his neck and he turned to look at me, the look of betrayal heavy in his eyes.

My breathing was ragged as I stumbled back and slammed into the wall, my hands going to my mouth as tears welled up in my eyes.

“Darcy…” shock flashed across his face first, then an anger so deep it made my stomach clench. Finally his eyes closed and he crumpled.

Nothing would ever erase the way he had looked at me before he fell. 

I really hoped I was doing what was best for him, that he didn’t die thinking I had betrayed him. What a horrible feeling, to think that the only person you had in the whole world had fed you to the wolves.

Steve caught Buck on is way down and Bruce was in the cell within seconds hollering something at the ceiling. I watched as Steve took his arms and Bruce grabbed his legs, carrying his body from the cell. A gurney was just within sight and I saw them roughly throw Buck onto it. Bruce stared to push it away and just like that they were gone.

I let myself drop to the floor, bringing my knees to my chest, trying to breathe in and out.

Steve approached me slowly, kneeling in front of me. “Darcy, are you okay? Did you get hurt?”

I just shook my head, placing my forehead on my knees, focusing on my breathing.

“You did it baby, that was amazing.”

“Did you see the way he looked at me?” I whispered.

“What was that?” Steve leaned closer, not able to hear me with my face pressed into my knees.

“Did you see the way he looked at me” I lifted my face and spoke loudly, anger coloring my tone.

“Darcy, you did what you did to try and help him, he will understand that. He is confused. He loves you.” Steve didn’t try and touch me, which was probably best. My skin was crawling; I was barley able to be inside my own body right now.

“Will he?” I stood, roughly pushing myself up from the ground. “Will he really? Because honestly I’m not so sure. The only person he thought he had just betrayed him in the worst way. I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself, much less expect him too.” I was so angry at myself, for agreeing to this crazy plan.

“He will. I am sure he will.”

I just stared at Steve, not liking him, myself or anyone else right now. I had no idea what was going on with Bucky right now. I wanted to know, but at the same time I didn’t think I could stand and watch as they killed him.

I walked past Steve and down the hall to the god forsaken waiting room, plopping down on the couch as hard as I could. I had no idea where to go or what to do other then just wait.

“He will be okay, he has to be okay” Steve spoke, having followed me. He stood though, pacing, instead of sitting next to me.

The tension was so thick, not only in the room, but inside my own body. I hated myself for what I had done to him and was sure he would to when he woke up. The silence was deafening, not knowing what to do or say. It felt like the walls were closing in on me. After awhile I tasted blood in my mouth, having chewed a hole in my cheek.

Clint and Thor came into the room, not speaking either. It was a strange thing, seeing super heroes feeling helpless. Everyone else was vital to the plan. Tony was monitoring JARVIS while he monitored Bucky. Bruce, Jane and Nat were all in performing the actual procedure. There was nothing to do but sit and wait and it was horrible.

“I can’t!” I yelped after some time, startling everyone else in the room “How long has it been?” it had been too long.

“It’s only been about 30 minutes Darcy, please, try and calm yourself. Should the sergeant survive this he will need you to be well in order to help him regain his full strength” Thor sat next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side. 

I leaned heavily against him, closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths.

30 minutes, that should be long enough for them to have…done what they needed to do. Bruce had said 4 to 6 minutes, then however long it took to get his heart started again. It shouldn’t be long.

Steve was still pacing, back and forth, back and forth. I wanted to scream at him to stop, feeling like with every pass he made across the room he ramped the stress level up another degree.

Steve stopped, stiffened and looked out towards the hallway. We all followed his gaze. Whatever it was he heard it long before we did because it was another few second before we saw Bruce come slowly down the hall, Jane tagging behind. They weren’t moving quickly and my heart started to sink.

I would drag my feet too if I had to come and deliver horrible news to a family.

Bruce stood in the doorway and looked up at us with a small smile on his face.

“He is one tough bastard” Bruce sighed lifting his hands and scrubbing them through his hair. “it took longer then I thought it would to stop the electric impulses from his brain, about 8 minutes, but the paddles did their job. His heart started immediately, his brain as well. The adrenaline, although a huge jolt, helped his body return to a normal rhythm faster."

My whole body started to shake as I stared at Bruce through the tears swimming in my eyes. Bucky was alive. He had lived. Steve leaned heavily on the back of a chair, breathing in and out, shaking his head.

But I sensed a but…

“We will slowly raise his core temperature back up to his normal, and then we will let the sedation wear off. All that is left to do now, is wait.”

“How long will it take him to wake up after the sedation wears off?” Steve asked quietly, not raising his head.

“As soon as his temperature is back up, which will take longer then normal, you super soldiers run hotter than the norm. We will stop the sedation and wait for him to come out of it. The hope is that when he does open his eyes he is back to himself…” Brace was watching us intently but I could tell he was itching to get back to Bucky’s bed side.

“I need to see him now. Are we allowed to see him?” Steve was moving faster then I could track. He was out of the room and starting down the hall before Bruce could answer.

I ran after him and Bruce, who was jogging to keep up.

“Steve, yes, you can see him. But Steve, wait” Bruce asked from behind him, following at a run now. “Captain Rogers, STOP!” Bruce yelled, stopping us all in our tracks.

“I want you to be aware of what you are walking into, please!” Bruce walked past Steve to stand in front of him, blocking his way into the operating theatre where to procedure was preformed. “The sergeant is intubated, a machine breathing for him in order to allow his body more time to recover from the stress of the procedure. There is some blood on the floor, a minor amount. It is common for a patient to spasm after heavy sedation and he did. One of his IV’s caught on the bed rail and ripped out of his arm. He is fine, but I wanted you to know what happened. Nat and I also made the decision to restrain him. I am confident the procedure was a success, but in the event that it wasn’t…” he paused and looked over Steve’s shoulder at me. “In the even that it wasn’t, I don’t want him to be able to hurt someone if he comes out of sedation and isn’t himself.”

Jane was standing between Thor and I, and I looked down at the floor after listening to Bruce, taking a steadying breath. My brain was struggling to adjust to the reality that he had lived. I had been certain he wouldn’t.

 

“Thank you Bruce. You are a good man” I stepped forward and hugged him around the waist.

I could feel his body, rock hard and wound with tension. I looked up at him and tilted my head, looking into his eyes. They held a hint of green, his body’s reaction to extreme stress. If the Hulk had been inside a lesser man he wouldn’t be able to do what he does, save his comrades on a regular basis. It was coming though, a Hulk out. I could tell, and so could he.

“Its okay Darce, I swear.”

Steve had made his way down the hall and was standing at Bucky’s door, his hands in his pockets, just watching.

“Come on Rogers, come in and talk to him. I’m about to turn off the sedation” Nat was saying as we all made our way to the doorway as well.

Steve turned and looked at me, total disbelief shining in his eyes. He hadn’t thought Buck would live either.

“You go in first Darce…” Steve seemed to be stalling, collecting himself. I did not like seeing any of my people off their game, but I was thankful to have gone through this with Steve. There was something comforting about seeing him like this, totally out of his element. Nice to know that even the strongest people In the world couldn't hold their shit together all the time. Despite what he'd said about not wanting to make everyone’s choices for them, he had grown accustomed to the power, to having that kind of control. He had been totally out of control through this whole thing with Bucky, having him trust me instead.

“Let me just come in, check his machine and tubes, then I'll give you guys a minute. I can’t go far, but I can have JARVIS monitor him remotely while we wait outside. He will alert me to any shifts in his vitals” Bruce was in the room with Jane and they methodically ran through the small routine of checking all of the machines, filling in things on a clip board.

“Thanks” I smiled as genuinely as I could when they left.

Steve continued to just stand their, watching us.

I brushed the hair away from Bucky's forehead and cupped his cheek. I was trying my hardest to ignore the tube running into his mouth and the sounds of the machine breathing for him.

Steve finally entered; going around to Bucky’s other side. I watched him take one of the hands that was strapped to the frame of the gurney.

“He will be fine Steve, I can feel it” I held Bucky’s other hand.

“I hope you’re right” he sighed, kissing his boyfriend on the forehead.

I stood there with my boys, sending up a silent prayer to anyone willing to listen. 

Please don’t let me be a liar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I threw this together quickly. It's been crazy here. Not really checked. Hope it's okay. Thanks for reading. 
> 
> I don't own any of these amazing characters. 
> 
> ❤️


	16. One Long, Deep Breath.

It was a long 48 hours. The longest of my life.

Bruce had expected Bucky to wake as soon as the sedation wore off.

He didn't.

Within an hour of Steve and I being allowed into Bucky's room Bruce knew something was wrong. His diagnosis? A coma.

Despite his brain showing normal activity, responses to stimuli and his pupils responding to lights he remained asleep.

All possible tests were run and no one could find any reason why he wouldn't wake up. Tony even called in the foremost specialist in neurology. She also came back without answers.

Steve and I spoke little. One of us was always there but most of the time it was both.

The longest 48 hours of my life.

Then finally, FINALLY, a small glimmer of hope.

I was reading to Bucky. At first we had all just sat. Small talk would be exchanged when someone else would stop by but that was it. It got to the point where I couldn't handle the silence; so I read.

I was reading to Buck about Sookie's latest adventure when out of the corner of my eye I saw his hand twitch. Nothing big, just his fingers curling inwards slightly, then back out.

I stopped reading and reached for his hand. Steve looked over at me from his seat on the other side of the bed. I squeezed and he squeezed back. The gasp I let out had Steve on his feet and over to us like a shot.

"Buck?"

Nothing.

“Bucky, I know you can hear me. Please squeeze my hand, something, anything…” I was holding my breath and squeezing his hand as hard as I dared.

Steve had his other hand and was watching Bucky’s face.

Nothing happened again and I let out the breath I was holding. I was trying to contain my tears, so much hope had flooded my system in that few seconds that the let down was brutal.

I looked across Bucky to Steve who was staring at me with a pained expression.

Bucky squeezed my fingers.

I out right yelped and looked down at our hands. This time when I gave a little squeeze, his fingers reciprocated immediately.

“JARVIS can you please page Bruce?” I whispered as Steve’s head whipped around to Bucky’s heart monitor, which started to go wild.

“Bucky, baby, please. Steve and I are both here. We love you, please, let me know you can hear me.” I was full out crying now. That seemed to be all I did.

I closed my eyes as his head started to shift back and fourth on his pillow. I wanted to see his eyes open more then anything. I wanted to see his eyes open and for him to recognize us, both Steve and I.

I was pushing my fear of his anger at my betrayal to the back of my mind. Having him wake up was the most important thing.

“Dr. Banner is on his way Darcy, Captain Rogers. He has instructed that you should keep taking to him, keep encouraging him. He will arrive in approximately 3 minutes" JARVIS spoke quietly and Steve and I both picked up our attempts. Steve didn’t speak though. I think he was scared of what Bucky’s reaction would be at hearing his voice.

His body stiffened and his eyes shot open. His hand was clenched so roughly around mine that it hurt.

The look in his blue eyes was not confusion or the fogginess you would expect with someone just coming out of a coma. His eyes showed nothing but full out fear. I had never seen someone look that scared in my life.

He started to thrash wildly, but with his hands and legs restrained all he could do was bow his torso off the bed. His head tossed side to side, his eyes clenched shut while tears spilled down his face.

“Bucky, no, no, it’s okay, it’s me. It’s Darcy.” I flailed my hands around and tried to put them on his shoulders.

His eyes finally met mine and there were no hints of the anger or rejection I had feared, just a brief flash of recognition and then a pleading look. His eyes bored into mine as a groaning sound started emanating from his throat.

Where was Bruce?

“He wants the tube out” Steve said to me, using a soothing tone.

Bucky’s eyes snapped to Steve and he stopped, stopped moving and stopped fighting against the tube.

“Jerk?” Steve asked a hint of fear in his voice.

I watched them closely, just thankful that Bucky had stopped fighting.

I watched Bucky nod his head a couple times, more tears falling down his cheeks and let out a huge sigh.

“It worked” Steve let out a massive breath and lowered his head. His free hand reached across the bed and clasped the hand I had resting on Bucky’s stomach.

It worked.

Bruce burst into the room and startled us all, Bucky’s head snapped up off the pillow and he started moaning again, pleading with Bruce.

“James” Bruce said, trying to get Bucky to look at him as he pushed his way past Steve to the bedside. Bucky didn’t respond, he just moaned louder and bowed his body off the bed again.

“JAMES!” Bruce yelled out, snapping Bucky’s eyes to his face. “I will take the tube out of your throat, but you will need to stop moving.” Bucky watched him for a moment, but nodded. Jane came rushing in next, stopping at the foot of the bed.

Bruce moved to one of the machines and pressed a couple buttons before motioning to Steve to move away. He looked between me and Bucky and gave our hands one last squeeze before moving to stand next to Jane, a hand placed on Bucky’s foot.

“James, I am going to undo the strap and then slide the tube out from your mouth and throat. Stay as still as possible and try and take deep breaths through your nose as I have now turned the machine off.” Bucky nodded and I watched his breathing pick up in uneven increments. It was so unlike the steady mechanical breaths from the machine that I started to panic. What if he couldn’t breathe without the machine?

Bruce reached forward and undid the mask, holding the apparatus as he pulled it back and up, sliding the impossibly long tube out of Bucky’s mouth.

“Slow breaths Sergeant. In and out okay. I will get you a cup of ice chips to help you wet your mouth. Please don’t try and talk for a few minutes.” Bruce left the room with Bucky’s clip board asking JARVIS a bunch of questions about his other vitals.

“Bucky?” I moved up, placing a hand on his cheek.

“пожалуйста” he gasped out, barely making a sound. He jerked against the restraints and new tears started forming in his eyes. “Стив, примите ограничений от” I could hear the pleading tone in his voice but I had no idea what he was saying. He was starting to panic again, the machine monitoring his pulse beeping out of control. “Они сдерживают меня, когда они вытирать меня” he got a little more volume this time and closed his eyes, trying to contain the panic.

“Shhhh, shhhh baby” I looked back at Steve and Jane wanting nothing more then to give him exactly what he wanted, but I had no idea what that was. “J, can you please get Natasha here, NOW!” I urged as loudly as I dared.

“Of course, but if you would allow me, I can translate for you until she arrives?”

“Do it” Steve spoke, trying to smooth the hair out of Bucky’s face.

“The Sergeant wants his restraints to be removed. He says that they would restraint him when they would wipe him” I could hear the disgust in J’s voice as he translated what Bucky was saying.

I had to forcibly swallow to keep the bile that was threatening to come up in my stomach where it belonged. 

“Стив, до конца линии, ПОЖАЛУЙСТА!!!” he all but wailed and Steve came forward, dropping his hands to Bucky’s cheeks, looking him in the eyes. Both men had wet cheeks from tears and I cursed everything that had ever happened to them. I cursed HYDRA and the American government. I knew that the testing done on both of them allowed them to be here now and had saved lives. And it gave me the chance to be with them. I wondered if they pain they had gone through was worth the life they had now? I’d have to ask them one day.

Not today.

“Steve, till the end of the line, PLEASE!” JARVIS translated and my heart broke. 

 

Bucky’s eyes went back and fourth

“Take a deep breath Buck okay. I will take the restraints off but you need to calm down first” Steve pressed their foreheads together and I watched them breathe together. Steve stood up and gabbed the heavy metal lock that Bucky’s left hand was held in, holding down two different buttons I head a click and the top of the cuff popped up.

Buck’s arm was up and his hand went to Steve’s shirt, pulling the fabric down so that they were face to face again.

“Darce” Steve motioned for me to release the other cuff, I didn’t know what it was made of, but it had a conventional buckle like that of a belt and was lined inside. I struggled with it for a moment but I finally got the pin out and slid the strap out of the buckle. His flesh and blood hand was up just as fast, grabbing my hand and pulling it to his face, kissing my palm before holding it tightly to his cheek.

I stood panting in and out, feeling the warmth and movement of Bucky’s hand and face.

No one spoke but I could hear Jane moving quickly around the room, pressing buttons and checking readings.

“James,” Bruce came back into the room and gave us accusing looks, Natasha hot on his heels. “I can see that you have already talked your way out of the restraints. Here, suck on an ice chip, steady your breathing, and take a few minutes. There will be time for talking later” Bruce handed me a cup of ice and Steve stood, moving his forehead away from Bucky’s so I could pop a chip into his mouth with my free hand.

“JARVIS, report?” Bruce asked again, his face in a clip board.

“All of Sergeant Barnes’s vitals remain stable as they have since the procedure. His pulse and blood pressure were elevated just above normal range for a number of minutes but with his release from the restraints they have both normalized. He seems to be only able to speak Russian currently, however” the AI reported.

Bruce and Jane conversed quietly as I broke out of his grasp and undid the cuffs around his ankles. I approached him again and slid another ice chip between his poor chapped lips. I was trying to make him as comfortable as I could and took my lip smackers from my pocket, running the coke flavoured balm over his sore lips.

“Бог Дарси, мне так жаль. Вы должны были так напуганы. И панк ... я ... я …” Bucky stopped and swallowed, looking horribly pained.

Natasha stood off to the side, watching Bucky closely “God Darcy, I’m so sorry. You must have been so scared. And punk…then he trailed off” she spoke for him.

I looked from Nat to Bucky, at the pleading look in his eyes and started shaking my head. I was scared but it was worth it.

“Don’t try to talk Buck. And don’t apologize, this, none of this has been your fault” I pushed some of his hair off of his forehead.

He started to open is mouth to respond but I just slipped another chip into his mouth and shook my head.

“Bucky, don’t. I just, I’m just so glad that you remember me” Steve shuddered as he let go of his fear. I watched his posture visibly lift.

“Guys, can I” Nat gestured to Bucky and I moved away from him but still kept a firm hold on his hand.

“Вы знаете, вы говорите российского права? (you do know you are speaking Russian right?)” she spoke quietly to him.

“Да, но я не знаю, как остановиться. Мой мозг будет мили в минуту (Yeah, but I don’t know how to stop. My brain is going a mile a minute)” he spoke back to her, his abused throat making his voice full of gravel.

Natasha leaned in closer and spoke softly, right next to his ear “Посмотрите на меня другом, вы находитесь дома, вы в безопасности. Закройте на мгновение глаза и сделать несколько глубоких вдохов. Сконцентрируйтесь на здесь и сейчас. Сконцентрируйтесь на ощущении ее стороны в вашей, на чувстве, положив руку на лоб. Сосредоточьтесь на том, что вы находитесь здесь, и они не имеют вас снова. Они не имеют вас снова. Это было просто злую шутку. Сосредоточьтесь на то, что вы хотите им сказать, а затем попробовать. (Look at me friend. You are home and you are safe. Close your eyes for a moment and take some deep breaths. Concentrate on the here and now. Concentrate on the feeling of her hand in yours, on the feeling of his hand on your forehead. Focus on the fact that you are here, and they don’t have you again. They did not have you again. It was just a cruel trick. Focus on what you want to say to them and then try.)”

Bucky must have been listening because he closed his eyes and for a few minutes focused on his breathing. I could feel his thumb rubbing across my knuckles as he took in deep, long breaths. 

“You promised” Bucky finally spoke around the ice in his mouth and ignored my grimace.

Everyone in the room let out a breath we had been collectively holding together. I had begun to wonder if what had been done to him had caused some kind of deficit, or if the procedure had hurt his brain and he had lost his knowledge of the English language

“I know, but you remembered her. Darcy kept you here, she saved you” Steve’s eyes were traveling back and forth across Bucky’s face. Something was happening and it took me a few seconds of watching the silent communication between my soldiers to understand what it was.

Steve had promised to kill Bucky if he was ever turned back in The Asset. 

“I wanted to kill you, but I knew; it was right there. I could feel you in the back of my mind.” Bucky turned from Steve to look at me. “You were the only one Darcy, I was so angry at all of them, hated all of them but you were the bright spot in the middle of my totally black mind. If it weren’t for you I don’t think I could have made it.” Bucky sounded like a 90 year old career smoker. All of that was true I supposed, except for the smoker part.

“Bucky, I’m so, so sorry” I squeaked out, unable to keep my fear to myself anymore in the face of his heartfelt profession.

“For what?” he asked. He tried clearing his throat to get rid of some of the gravel, but all he did was shudder. All of his responses were taking a moment, as if he had to mentally translate what he wanted to say from Russian to English in his head. 

“I gave you that injection. I betrayed you…” Steve was shaking his head as I spoke.

Bucky searched my face for a minute and I saw the moment he remembered what I was talking about and I watched as the smallest reflection of the look he had had on his face before he fell flitted across his features. It was quickly replaced though, as the side of his mouth came up in a painful smirk.

“I didn’t want you to have to experience any of this doll, remember? I told you this wasn’t a competition in the battered soul department.” I nodded as he smirked at me again. “Doing what we do, a lot of the time is about making choices and handling things that no one else wants to or can do. I know you wouldn’t have done that if there was any other choice. I don’t think you betrayed me. I think that you saved us” Bucky was whispering now, his battered voice starting to give out.

“Bucky, I was just so scared for you…” I choked out the sentence.

“What was your other option?” he asked me, and then turned to look at Steve. “I don’t know exactly what happened, and right now I don’t care to know. Considering I woke up with a machine breathing for me I am going to say it was probably your only choice right?”

Steve nodded.

"End of story" Bucky said, his eyes landing on the cup in my hands. I hurried to stuff another chunk of ice in his mouth.

"James?" Bruce quietly pulled Bucky's attention from us to him. "I know you will argue with me but I want you to remain in medical for at least the next 24 hours. I want to do a CAT scan and monitor your vitals. But honestly..." He trailed off and closed his eyes, massaging the bridge of his nose. "Despite my worst fears every part of this insanity has seemed to work in our favour."

"Thank you Doc. I don't know what you did but..." Bucky squeezed my hand while he offered Bruce all of his respect.

"I'm just glad you are back with us James. The Asset, well he's something else. And that's coming from a geek who turns into a 10 foot tall green smashing machine" Bruce winked and motioned for Jane to follow him.

“I’m going to be out in the hall, call if you need me” Natasha leaned into me and spoke into my ear, giving my shoulder a small squeeze.

I had the best people in the world.

"I'm so tired" Bucky sighed.

"Sleep Buck. We won't leave. We haven't left, I swear" Steve ran his thumb across Bucky's cheek bone and I sighed.

Everything about the gesture seemed right. I'd been sure I’d never see anything like that again.

"Darcy?" Bucky couldn't talk above more then quiet whisper and I leaned over him to listen. "Lay with me?" He asked, his blue eyes taking on the smallest hint of his usual humour.

"Um…how?" I grinned at him as he slid over in the bed, grunting and making a disconcerted face as his catheter got a good tug.

"That needs to come out" Buck lifted his arm and I sat on the bed, lying on my side carefully while he manoeuvred his arm around me and all of his IVs.

Steve gave us an indulgent smile and went to sit in his chair in the corner.

"No you don't Punk. I need you to be closer" Bucky's voice gave out with a painful crack and Steve just rolled his eyes.

“I’m just getting my chair ya jerk. If you think I’ll be letting you, either of you, out of my sight for the next while then you are even more out of your minds then I thought you were” Steve noisily slid his chair across the floor and sat down, leaning his chest on the bed, and his head against Bucky stomach.

I was staring down at the back of Steve’s head, wondering how long this happy reunion would continue. Now, without the threat of Bucky’s death looming over our heads Steve’s comment and my own insecurities were pushing there way to the front of my sleep deprived brain.

I shifted my head and met Bucky’s eyes. Even after everything he was reading me like an open book and gave me a questioning look. I looked back down and watched his metal finger stoke up and down through the short hairs on the back of Steve’s neck. Looking back up at him I just shook my head gently. It wasn’t important right now and we definitely didn’t need to get into anything at this particular moment. There was time to take a look at everything that had transpired.

We had time.

Just that thought was heady and made my shoulders relax a little.

Bucky leaned his head against the top of mine, unable to keep his eyes open. His fingers had stopped moving on the back of Steve’s head where it was still pillowed against his stomach. I could hear soft, regular breathing coming from Steve, knowing he had fallen asleep and that Bucky was probably headed there as well, I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath.

One day at a time.

I was thankful that tomorrow looked great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Russian was pulled straight from Google translate. So I'm very sorry if it's not accurate. What wasn't translated directed was put in brackets allowing for easier reading, hope it helped. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading.


	17. Lingerie and Spaghetti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is super long with losts of fluff and sex. I haven't had much time to check it over so please forgive my mistakes. Thank you for reading. I can post the playlist if requested ❤️

Sweat poured down my face as I unleashed myself on a punching bag in the gym.

Before Kansas when I was staying at the tower I had trained with Natasha. I hadn't resumed any of it since I had returned but I really needed to take my frustration out on something. Steve's stupid but annoyingly handsome face was not a viable option so I decided one of the punching bags was the next best thing.

After fibbing to the boys about heading to the labs I'd smuggled some gym clothes out in a tote and fled to the gym.

Awolnation was blaming it on their ADD loudly over the speakers as I gave the bag one last hard kick. I leaned over and took some panting breaths, my hands on my knees. I was going to feel this for days; my muscles weren't used to it. Not that they ever really were, I grimaced at myself.

"I'm goin' to go out on a limb and say somethin' is bothering ya, hey doll?" Bucky spoke up when the song ended.

It had been a week since he had been allowed out of medical. Steve and I had been with him almost 24/7. I was scared to let him out of my sight, but after a week I figured him and Steve would survive a couple hours without me.

I stood up but didn't turn around to look at him. My music didn't continue, thanks to the all knowing J. I kinda wished it had so I could pretend I hadn't heard him.

"I'm over being babied and I'm over pretending that I don't know something is going on between you two" Bucky spoke again. Steve was here too. Great.

I'd told Jane and Nat what Steve had said and they were both disgusted. Jane gave him some wiggle room because of the emotional climate at the time. Nat was not as forgiving. She called him some nasty words in Russian and asked if we had talked.

No. We hadn't.

I'd given him until Bucky was better.

Now Bucky was better and I hadn't said anything.

I turned around and marched to the benches, grabbing a towel and draping it around my neck.

"Bucky, why don't we give her a minute" Steve muttered, looking away from me.

"What did you do Steve?" Bucky turned his face to his boyfriend.

"Buck, it's okay. Don't get yourself worked up" I stepped forward but stopped at the look he shot me.

"I'm fine Darce. Tell me, now" his eyes were narrowed.

"We had just been told about the procedure. What they needed to do to try and help you, and Darcy didn't agree with it. She didn't want to do it. We were out of options though, it was our only shot. They knew it, so did I" Steve had a defensive tone to his voice and it made me angry.

"Of course she didn't agree Steve. Am I thankful you did it, yes. Would I have preferred for none of it to have happened at all, of course. I also know that a procedure like that is against her very nature." he was staring at Steve. "So you guys disagreed, that's it? I mean, you must have changed your mind, you helped."

"I did change my mind. I watched the street cam footage from when they found you in that alley" I spoke quietly. I'd been hoping he would never have to find out I'd seen it.

"Oh sweetheart..." Buck looked at me. "I really wish you hadn't."

"I'm glad I did Buck. Made me realize that I had to take any chance, no matter how small, to get you back" I gave him a small smile.

He and I stood staring at each other for a few minutes. I loved him so much. I loved them both so much. God damn it. Why couldn't I just let it go?

Because it's not fair to you and you deserve respect too, my inner voice poked her nosey two cents in.

"Okay...?" Bucky was nothing if not relentless and I knew he wouldn't let it go.

"When she wouldn't agree I may have..." Steve was rubbing his palm roughly on his forehead.

"May have?"

"I told her she hadn't been around long enough to have an opinion on your treatment" Steve forced out, refusing to lift his head and look at either of us.

We all stood there in the tension for a minute before Bucky let out a long, angry breath.

"Steve?" Bucky asked. Steve lifted his head with an ashamed look in his eyes.

Bucky's arm and fist came up so fast I was barely able to track the movement. With a quick snap his fist connected with Steve's jaw. Steve's head snapped back as a loud crack sounded through the gym.

I ran forward, rushing to Steve. I grabbed his face with both my hands as his eyes opened back up and he shook his head back and forth.

"No Darce, I deserved that" he told me, placing a hand on my waist.

"Maybe more punk" Bucky spoke, darkness coloring his tone.

"We talked Bucky. I told her how it was all on me and that I'd left her emotional well being to you. That I was a disrespectful bastard. All of it" Steve swallowed and rubbed his jaw, using the arm around my waist to manoeuvre me behind him.

I watched them face off, neither backing down an inch, standing toe to toe.

"And what was your response to that doll?" Bucky didn't take his eyes off Steve's as he talked over him at me.

"I told him that we would talk after you were better. That he had that long to decide if this was something he actually wanted" my anger was dissipating now as I started to worry they would really get into it.

"So let's talk" Bucky crossed his arms over his chest, the plates and gears in his arm whirring.

"I shouldn't have said it. I was so caught up in you, in the thought of loosing you again that I thought if I created a little distance it wouldn't be as bad for her" Steve spoke in a normal tone now and I closed my eyes.

What a dofus.

"Break her heart before breaking her heart? Are you fucking kidding me! Of all the hair brained ideas you've ever come up with Rogers, this has got to be the best.

"Till the end of the line remember?" Steve whispered. "I didn't think you'd make it and I knew that if you didn't that I wouldn't be far behind. I can't go back to before, without you..." Steve dropped his aggressive stance completely.

"I'll admit punk, this is more then I expected. I fell so hard for her so fast and I know you and I have history, but I love her too. It can't be till the end of the line anymore" Bucky uncrossed his arms and reached up, linking his fingers with Steve's. He reached around, looking for my hand too. I grabbed hold of it and let him pull me out from behind Steve.

"What happens if one of us doesn't come back from a mission?"

"Buck, don't..." I started to say but he cut me off.

"You are saying that if one day I don't come back you are done? Look at her Steve, look" Steve tore his eyes from Bucky and looked at my face. I stared back into his eyes. "You love her as much as I do. I can see it. Don't tell me that you'd leave her alone, that loosing one would mean loosing both."

Steve sighed and pulled his hand from Bucky's. He extended his arms and pulled me to him, wrapping me up completely.

"Having one reason to live is great. Having two is even better" he mumbled into my hair.

"That's what I thought. You freakin' dummy. What were you thinking?" Bucky patted him roughly on the back.

"How about no one dies, deal?" I spoke into Steve's chest, my face smooshed into his pecs.

"Apologize properly Steve. Or I'll brain ya for real" Bucky smirked.

"I'm sorry Darcy. I'm a jerk. Do you forgive me?" He let me step back and stared right into my eyes.

I looked up at him, allowing myself a moment to think, trying to see if I was being handled or not. I didn't feel like I was, but I felt I needed to make myself clear

"Never again Steve Rogers. Do you understand me? You promised me none of this for her own good crap. One more chance, that's it. Let me love you like you love me, I'm all the way in or not at all" he was nodding along with everything I was saying.

"Never again baby. I promise. You have us both for as long as you can stand it" Steve had a look so sincere on his face that I had no other choice but to believe him.

"When did I become the emotionally stable one?" Bucky asked, humour in his voice. "Seriously, do neither of you think that's as messed up as I do?"

"Stop it" I smacked his arm and he let out a stage grunt, holding his flesh arm with his metal hand like I'd mortally wounded him.

"Now are you done kicking that things ass, or would you like some more time? I could hold it for you" Bucky grinned at me and Steve huffed.

"I was done already before you boys came in here and rudely interrupted me" I scrubbed my face with the towel, looking forward to a shower.

"Seriously Darce, where did you learn to hit like that?" Steve asked slinging his arm around my shoulders as Bucky grabbed my bag.

"Natasha. When I stayed here after London but before Kansas she thought it was a good idea to learn some basics" I leaned into him as I dropped my towel in the hamper by the door.

"I approve" Bucky laced his fingers through mine.

"Wait," I stopped. "How did you guys know I was down here?"

"Nat was in the showers when you came in. She says you didn't even notice her leave, the music was so loud" Bucky answered, not meeting my eyes. They were all busted. I couldn't get a moments peace.

"She said you were laying more then just a normal beat down on a bag, that we better get our emotionally constipated asses down here before we screwed up the best thing that ever happened to us" Steve smirked down at me as he quoted Natasha.

I felt my cheeks turn red as we rode the elevator to my floor.

"I need a shower" I pointed at them as they walked me to my door. "And not a sexy time shower, an actual shower shower" I wagged my finger at Bucky as he tried to follow me in. "You haven't been cleared for that kind of activity yet Sergeant, so slow your roll."

"Yes I have" he gave me his cockiest grin and tried to follow me again. "At my appointment this morning, Bruce gave me the green light to resume all my normal activities except for field work. He wants me to wait another week."

I looked back at Steve to check the truth behind Buck's story. Steve just nodded, an eyebrow raised and a smile on his face.

"Regardless" I waved my hand trying to distract myself from the sinful smile on Bucky's face. "Shower shower remember. Now scoot along, go back to your own rooms. I'll come join you when I'm done." I closed my door quickly, all but slamming it.

I heard them both laugh loudly as they retreated down the hall.

I stood for a moment, basking in the lightness I was feeling. The pinch between my shoulders had eased since I'd talked with Steve and Bucky. I knew I was mad and upset, but I hadn't realized just how freaking mad I was. I was not an angry person. Carrying around that much anger for that long had done a number on me. Coupled with the stress of the last few months, it was a perfect storm.

It was over now though.

My boys were happy and healthy.

Everyone in my family was here, happy and healthy.

I took a deep breath and smiled to myself.

I'd done some online shopping that had recently been delivered. I suddenly felt like getting all dolled up. New bra and panties and a new black sheath dress.

"JARVIS, Peace, Love and Music please. Loud" I requested one of my playlists as I stripped my work out clothes off in the bathroom. OneRepublic started to croon to me as I climbed under the warm spray.

The shower was cathartic and transformative, rinsing off the residual shit I'd been slugging around the past week.

"I hope when you fall in love, it hurts so bad mmmm" I belted out as I shampooed my hair. "I, I, I did it all. I owned every second that this world can give" I continued to sing along through the extra conditioning treatment and shaving my legs.

I shut off the water and continued to sing along to the next song up on my play list while I applied lavender lotion and vanilla body spray. "Some nights I stay up cashing in my bad luck. Some nights I call it a draw" I surveyed my new skivvies, trying to choose which ones I wanted to wear.

I'd happily discovered an online shop that sold Avengers themed ladies lingerie. Not only that but they made them big enough for women who had a little more to bring to the table. Sadly because Bucky was not a confirmed member of the Avengers, hell, he wasn't even confirmed to be alive. They did not make Winter Soldier panties. I did however buy red thigh high stockings that clipped into my Captain America guarder belt. Complete with Captain America panties and bra, Steve's iconic shield was placed strategically on the front triangle of my tiny panties and on each cup of my bra.

I'd also purchased a necklace that hung right at the top of my ample cleavage. A Simple silver chain with a red star dangling from it.

The sheath dress had small sleeves and a slit from the edge of my collar down just low enough to show off my girls in a very suggestive way.

I slipped into my new bra and panties and flicked on my hair dryer. My hair was big and I liked it that way, bending over I started drying my hair upside down. I was almost done when my music lowered and I knew I wasn't alone anymore.

"I'm going to guess your talk with the morons went well?" Natasha was leaning against the frame of my bathroom door.

"I'm not even going to ask how you got in." I flipped my hair back over and watched Natasha's face go from neutral to amusement to full out laughter as she took in my outfit.

"They make Black Widow stuff too" I smirked at her. "And the Hulk."

She stopped laughing and raised a brow questioningly.

"Just think what Bruce would think if you walked into the lab in purple lace..." I looked sideways at her. I turned on my curling wand and leaned over the counter to start my make up. The last person I was worried about seeing me like this was Nat. I was surprised at myself with how confident I felt, like before Ian.

"Show me" she gestured to my office. I pulled my housecoat on and got her set up on my laptop searching through Avengers undies.

"Yours were pretty hot Nat" I hollered back from the bathroom.

"What will people think of next" she called back. "They have a crop with the Black Widow symbol on it so when you..." I heard her trail off and laugh out loud. "I'm so getting Pepper these cuffs for her bridal shower" Nat yelled and I couldn't suppress my curiosity. I looked over her shoulder at the screen.

You could buy hand cuffs in metallic red and gold. They were featured in the Ironman collection. I wished I had suppressed my curiosity. It killed the cat after all.

I retreated back into the bathroom to finish my war paint, leaving Natasha to her online shopping.

"Can we get some Shut Up and Dance J, please?" I asked as I finished my liner and moved onto my lashes.

Dancing in the Dark started up and I started shaking my ass. I applied blush, mascara and lipstick and liner. I carefully added little bits of curl to my hair at the ends.

Satisfied with the finished product I went back to Natasha and sighed. She had put most of the Ironman collection in her basket, including a lace teddy with a fake arc reactor.

"Yuck" I sniffed, leaving the room.

"You know what your father is like" Natasha called after me.

"No. I don't" I did but I really didn't want to think about how much Tony would enjoy Pepper in that stuff.

I went back into my room to finish getting dressed. I pulled on the garter belt and slid each of the lace topped stockings up my legs, clipping them in place. I stood in front of the full length mirror and took a deep breath. The first time we had been together had caught me off guard. It had just happened and it was amazing but now I had plans. I had heard that surviving disasters could be an aphrodisiac.

Whoever figured that out was right.

I pulled my dress on and went back to the computer room to get Nat's help doing up the long zipper up the back.

"You look amazing" Nat gave me an appreciative glance as I stepped in and she helped me finish up. "I charged all of that stuff to your account since it was already open. Let me know when it comes, I'll give you the money" she smiled at me and I just sighed.

I did my necklace up and smoothed my dress. Turning to her I held my arms out.

"Plans tonight?" She smirked at me.

"Kind of, I guess" I shrugged as I headed to the bathroom to touch up my lipstick one for time.

"You look perfect. Rogers and Bucky will combust when they see you. Especially what you're hiding under that dress" she winked at me and followed me to the door.

"Totally corny, but I couldn't help it" I giggled as I slid into my black sparkly flats.

"How long is Jane gone?" Natasha asked me and I sighed. As soon as Bucky had woke up and they were sure he was stable, Thor had taken her to Asgard. There had been some kind of royal something or other and even though Thor had abdicated the throne he still had obligations apparently. Somehow that gave him permission to steal my Jane for them as well

"No idea. Couple of weeks probably. She needed a break anyways" I shrugged off how much I missed her.

"I'm going to hide in here" Nat said as I reached to open the door. "Pepper asked for my help with some wedding nonsense."

"Okay. But you can't hide forever. I think she's going to ask you to be a bridesmaid" I laughed at the horror on Nat's face.

"Knock em' dead" Natasha punched my arm as I left my place.

Riding to the guys place, my nerves started to get the better of me. I felt beautiful, but would they think my outfit was ridiculous? I'd never instigated sex with them before. If I was being honest, I needed the connection. After everything I that had happened I needed them to be alive and well. I needed the physical connection with Steve after being so mad at him for what seemed like forever.

Nope. I looked hot and I knew it. I was weird. They knew it. I knew it. This was not the first time I'd bought cheesy Avengers merchandise. I'd always loved it, all of it. I'd bought it for them as well. Jane had a Thor onesie complete with cape. Nat had Hulk jammies.

You couldn't really call it cheesy when its purpose was to instigate sex. 

I swallowed my nerves, smoothed my hair and knocked on the boy’s door.

"It's open" I heard Steve yell. I turned the knob and entered the apartment. It smelled like heaven. Tomato sauce and Italian spices. I stopped by the kitchen island and watched Steve cook. I loved cooking, but I loved watching a fine man cook more.

"Hey baby, I was just going to have JARVIS call you. We hit the gym after dropping you off. Buck is in the shower, should be out any minute. I made spaghetti; I know it's your favourite. I'm sucking up a little I guess" Steve turned and smiled at me, the expression on his face freezing as he just stared.

It was insanely gratifying.

At that moment the pasta boiled over and I heard Steve use a seldom heard expletive as he tore his eyes away from me and back to his task at hand.

"Baby, I...wow" was all I heard as he turned the burner down and have the noodles a good stir.

"Holy shit!" came a breathy curse as Bucky joined us.

"Do you guys like it?" I knew the answer but straightened my posture anyways, sticking out my ass and boobs.

"I, just...there aren't words" Bucky approached me slowly, rubbing his hands together.

"You look amazing Darce. We are the luckiest men in the world" Steve was straining the pasta and almost burned himself because his eyes weren't where they needed to be.

"I got some new stuff. I felt like dressing up for you" I shot them each a small smile.

"New stuff?" Bucky reached me first and picked up on my use of plurals.

"Yes, new stuff" I nodded as he took my hands in his and pulled them around his waist. He was wearing an undershirt and baggy jeans. His wet hair hung around his jaw and he smelled amazing, like body wash and Bucky. I pushed my face into his neck threw his hair and inhaled, wrapping my arms tighter around him.

"The way that dress hugs your curves doll" he spoke into my skin, sending a shiver up my spine. "Makes me think of all the things I could do to you" his hand slid down my back and cupped my ass. I let out a breathy moan and let my head fall back as his mouth went up my neck.

"Like what?" I was barely able to ask.

"I want to run my hands over every inch of you in that dress and then watch while Steve unzips it and we both peel it off your body."

Yup.

"Then," Steve spoke from behind me, startling me a little. "We are going to taste every inch of skin that is revealed. And you know what?"

"Huh?" I asked, too focused on the mouth in my ear and the other one on my neck.

"I bet you taste as amazing as you look" Buck finished Steve's sentence.

"My god" I moaned out loud, totally overwhelmed. "Dinner?" My foggy mind kicked out.

"Sauce will keep. We can make more pasta later. There are other things I'd rather be doing right now" Steve whispered to me and my knees started to shake.

My god it was hot in here. And this situation had gone from 0 to 60 in a moment. I had wanted to be in control of this, but instead I felt totally overwhelmed, at their mercy. I loved it but it wanted to regain some control.

I blinked a few times, trying to clear the lust from my brain.

"Boys?" I asked, trying to get their attention.

"Hemmm?" was all I got from Steve.

"Bedroom?"

Bucky leaned over as Steve stepped back and went to lift me in his arms. I let him and together we went into the biggest of the three rooms.

I'd slept with them a few times over the last week, the bed big enough for 2 of them and me. You could tell which side of the room belonged to which. Steve's had his shield leaning against the wall along with shelves of sketch books. I'd looked through the more recent ones and blushed when I'd found page after page of myself. Steve had crime novels on his bed side along with a glass of water. Bucky's side was decorated by 2 very large assault riffles leaning against the wall, I was sure there were more weapons I just wasn't seeing. On his side table was a sipping glass for alcohol with a few empty pill bottles. Bruce had insisted he take the meds, not knowing if they would even help considering his healing abilities. There were a few books in Russian. He had read me some, Russian poetry, and it had been positively panty melting. He also had a few items of clothing strewn on the floor. Steve's side was immaculate.

"You are a little vixen aren't you?" Steve said as Bucky plopped me down on the bed with a pleased look on his face.

"That was the plan, yes" I laughed as Bucky pulled his top off over his head, a feral look in his eyes.

"Bucky said something about peeling me out of this dress" I said, trying to stand back up with as much dignity as I could muster.

"Stevie?" Bucky motioned for Steve to begin.

He kissed me gently and found my zipper, slowly pulling it down. It was horribly loud amid the sexual tension in the room.

Bucky stepped forward and kissed me, a little less sweetly and they both took a sleeve, starting to move it down my shoulders. I quickly toed out of my flats and watched them as their eyes slid down every inch of skin revealed.

"Dress was beautiful doll, but it's in the way" Buck muttered giving a small tug to the offending fabric.

Steve's eyes shot to my face when they pulled the dress down past my chest and I smirked at him.

"Holy..." Bucky stared wide eyed at the ladies. The bra did wonderful things for them, lifting and pushing. Not super comfortable, but comfort was not the point.

"Where did you get that?" Steve's cheeks started to pink up.

"Online. But wait, there's more!" I winked at him

"They pulled the rest of my dress down and I stepped out of it when it hit the ground.

"Punk..." Bucky was only managing to say one word at a time.

“They didn’t have anything with your star on it Bucky, but I got this and these for you” I motioned to my necklace and stockings.

Both of the boys just stood in front of me, staring. I loved the attention, loved the intensity of their gazes.

“Where would you get something like that?” Steve whispered under his breath, his eyes traveling over my body.

“I ordered it all online just for you guys” I smiled and had to laugh out loud at how round their eyes were.

“I love the stockings doll. Sexiest thing I think I’ve ever seen” Bucky dipped a finger into the stockings between the lace and my skin.

“I don’t even have words Darce. We are lucky that you have stuck around, that you put up with all of this. That you put up with me…” Steve looked up at me, his eyes sad. This was not the reaction I was expecting at all.

“Steve, I love you. I’m not a big fan of the danger and the injuries slash dying stuff. But I believe you are sorry and I believe that you love me. I think you meant it, but only at the time. I know you have looked at everything that has happened and know what went wrong, and what we need to do to make it all right. Don’t dwell in the past Stevie” I winked at him as I called him the name only Bucky used. “Now that that’s over why don’t you ravish the girl that’s standing before you in nothing but a bra and panties that literally have your name on them.”

“Yeah punk, stop beating yourself up. I’m going to start by sliding the stockings down with my teeth. You?” Bucky pushed me onto the bed. I leaned back, reclining on my elbows as Bucky knelt between my legs. He ran a hand up both legs, starting at my ankles and moving them up slowly to my hips. He leaned over me and kissed the skin between the band on my panties and the top of the lace band on the stockings. Taking the top between his teeth he looked up at me through his long lashes as I panted with my mouth open. Quirking up on side of his mouth he started to pull it down my thigh.

Steve watched us for a minute, a bulge straining the front of his jeans and then reached down and pulled his grey cotton shirt over his head.

I tore my eyes away from Bucky as he started with the other thigh high and sat up, reaching a hand out to run my fingers along Steve’s side and abs. I really needed to lick those.

“I’m having a hard time believing I’m awake. Usually the things that happen to me are more like a nightmare, the things we have to deal with. You though Darcy, are like every dream and fantasy I have ever had tied into one. I love you, both of you, so much” Steve pulled my hand up to his mouth and kissed it before moving to the bed and kneeling behind me.

I felt beautiful and happy and comfortable in my own skin.

Bucky just murmured into my skin, agreeing with what Steve had said and I closed my eyes, getting lost in the feeling of the 4 hands that were all over me.

Bucky’s hands were tracing back up my legs now that he had unclipped and removed the stockings. Steve’s hands had slid over my shoulders and dipped under the pictures of his shield and were on my breasts, cupping them and pinching my nipples, rolling them between his fingers. Bucky’s fingers reached the wetness between my legs and slid around, gently teasing and massaging. I moaned loudly and arched up, pressing my breasts against Steve’s hands. They were everywhere and it was mind blowing.

“I’m going to take this off Darce, as much as I love seeing you in it, I need to see you” Steve whispered against the skin of my neck as his finger played with the clasps at my back. I nodded slightly and let out a cry as Bucky shifted my panties all the way to the side and slid a finger inside me.

“Fuck” I cursed loudly and heard Steve request privacy settings.

“That’s the plan doll” Bucky laughed against the skin of my inner thigh.

“Sergeant Barnes, you have a dirty mouth” I spoke through panting breaths.

“You have no idea the things he can do with his mouth baby” Steve whispered against me and I shivered. There were mouths and hands everywhere.

Bucky didn’t joke around and shifting his position he grabbed my ankles, sliding them over his shoulders as he leaned down and licked straight up my slit. I let out something more like a scream then a moan.

Bucky’s mouth took big lapping strokes up and down my core as Steve worked my breasts and my neck, sucking against the skin while he applied just enough pressure and pull to my nipples.

I looked down at the same time Bucky looked up my body and past me to Steve. I felt Steve’s tongue come out and lick my neck. His tongue followed along the chain of my necklace and I felt as he reached up and started playing with the star that hung between my girls. I actually watched as Bucky’s pupils blew wide and I felt him moan against me as he started sucking and licking with more vigour.

“He likes seeing his mark on you just as much as I liked seeing mine” Steve reached around my body, pushing me into more of a seated position as he tugged on the front of my panties, grinding them against me.

I managed to get out a garbled warning as the tease gave me just enough to push me over the edge. I screamed out Bucky’s name and then Steve’s as my hands went to Bucky’s hair, holding his face to me. Bucky sucked gently, helping me ride out the orgasm as I melted back into Steve’s arms.

I stilled Buck by sliding a hand to his cheek, everything feeling like too much on my now over sensitive skin.

“Wow” I said, leaning more on Steve and closing my eyes.

“Wow is right” I cracked an eye and watched Bucky wipe his mouth on the back of his hand and slide my legs down, lowering them to hang off the bed.

“Just give me a minute and I’ll move” I said, closing my eyes again.

“Do you want to lie down?” Steve asked, humour in his voice. “I told you Buck could do things with that mouth of his.”

“I just need a minute. Just a quick second…”

“Buck, come here. I want to taste her on you” I felt Steve move from behind me, gently laying me on the bed.

I couldn’t miss this opportunity so I managed to open my eyes a little and watched as Steve layed back on the bed and Bucky slowly crawled up to him, laying his body on top of Steve’s.

“Bucky…” Steve whispered, sliding a hand up to Buck’s cheek. They locked eyes for a minute as I went full voyeuristic and rolled onto my side to watch them.

“I know punk, I know” Bucky whispered back as they stared into each others eyes for a minute.

Steve moved first, bringing his head up and brushing his lips against Bucky’s. Bucky sighed and dove into the kiss. I watched as they became all hands and mouths. Steve’s hands ran up and down his back and their moths parted, their tongues danced.

The show these two put on had me aching again despite the insane orgasm I’d just had and I scooted further up the bed, laying on my side closest to them.

“You taste amazing all mixed with Bucky baby. I can’t wait to get a taste myself, very soon” Steve turned his blue eyes on me and arched a little as Bucky sucked on the soft spot under his ear.

“I swear both of you could push me over the edge with just your words” I sighed, rubbing my thighs together.

“Kiss me?” Steve turned his head more towards me as Bucky worked his neck. I smiled and moved closer still, locking lips with him.

I felt Bucky stop and watch us for a moment before he pushed himself up. The sound of his metal arm working did things to me. I wondered if there was some kind of scientific name for that, someone who got turned on by the metal arms of super soldiers. I doubted it. Steve and I were probably the only ones. The things those cold fingers did to me.

Bucky sat up between Steve’s legs on his knees and I moved closer still, half crawling onto his chest, our mouths never loosing their pace. I felt Bucky get off the bed and heard the zip of the fly on his jeans and moved so I was totally on top of Steve now. His hands traveled down and cupped my ass cheeks as I wiggled against the bulge I could feel pressing against me.

Bucky’s fingers, one warm, one cold, hooked under the band on my panties and slid them down my legs so I completely naked on top of Steve. Steve was the only one with any clothes on now and that was something that needed to be remedied.

I started to slide down, moving my mouth down his jaw and neck and then onto his chest. His breath was coming out in heavy panting breaths as I reached one of his nipples and flattened my tongue as I dragged it over the nub. He moaned out my name and his hands went to the sheets, taking it in his fists.

“The way you two look together right now, watching you make him come undone like that doll…” I looked to the side of the bed as Bucky spoke thickly at me. I watched him take his erection in his hand and pump it a few times.

Could they be hotter? I really doubted it.

I finally made it down to his abs and the hip bones that I had dreamed about back when this wouldn’t have even been a thought in my wildest fantasies.

I licked my lips and then dragged my tongue across his stomach, from one hip bone to the other.

Yup, just as magical as I thought.

Bucky had his head tilted to the side, smirking at me. The way his hair fell across his face was super adorable. The way his metal hand was wrapped around his cock, made him look a whole lot of other things.

I sat up and undid Steve’s jeans; he complied and lifted his butt so I could slide them and his briefs down his thighs. Bucky helped, grabbing the cuffs after I moved out of the way and sliding them the rest of the way off.

Steve’s erection stood up, seeking attention. I still couldn’t get over the size of the boys.

I was a very, very lucky girl.

I leaned down and took as much of Steve as I could in my mouth all at once. I could feel him at the back of my throat and swirled my tongue around him before lifting my head and letting him pop out of my mouth. He moaned my name again. I adjusted my pose, kneeling fully between Steve’s legs, pushing my butt into the air and parting my legs a little. I felt Bucky’s metal hand caress one of my ass cheeks as he moved in behind me on the bed.

I dropped my head to Steve again, bobbing my head, taking him in as far as I could again and again.

Bucky’s hands were on my hips and I could feel his warmth against me from behind.

“Doll?” he asked, giving my hips a quick squeeze.

I let Steve out of my mouth with another big pop and looked back at Bucky. I gave him a quick nod and a smile. His hand slid up my spine once as I felt him at my entrance from behind.

I was thankful he chose to go slowly as I felt him slid in inch by inch. I tried to keep up my pace with my mouth but it was hard as Bucky buried himself fully inside me and began to move. I moaned around Steve’s cock in my mouth and had to take moment to breath through my nose.

Bucky started to move in earnest and I watched Steve through my lashes as he lifted his head and watched us. He would look down at me and then up at Bucky, letting his head fall back after taking it all in.

The sounds in the room were positively sinful. The sounds of Steve’s moans and my wet mouth sliding over him, mixed with a few moans of my own. I could hear Bucky’s skin slapping against me, moving my mouth faster and faster over Steve.

The sounds in the room were enough to drive me mad.

I started to suck a little harder feeling him stiffen in my mouth. I added a second hand and gave him a few good tugs. He let out a shout and I felt his warm jets hitting the back of my throat. Bucky’s cold fingers went to my clit and he started to rub in time with his thrusts. It didn’t take long before I felt every muscle in my body tense. I let Steve’s softening erection out of my mouth and held my breath as the world exploded around me. If it weren’t for Bucky’s arm around my waist I would have face planted into Steve’s stomach. I was still riding a wave when I felt Bucky pick up his pace, giving a few erratic pumps his hands stilled on my hips and he grunted out a growl, still as he too reached his end.

I had never had such intense sex. Every fibre of my body was relaxed. After two orgasms I was totally rung out and as I felt Bucky slide out of me, Steve grabbed my arms like I was child and pulled me up his body. He laid me next to him with my head on his chest.

Bucky disappeared for a minute and when he returned he gently moved one of my legs and cleaned me up before throwing the cloth into the hamper and sliding into bed next to me.

“I have no words baby” Steve kissed the top of me head.

I mumbled a response at him without bothering to form any real words.

“You are beautiful Darcy” Bucky mumbled into my hair.

This is usually how we slept. Steve in the front, Bucky behind, me sandwiched between them.

“I just, you guys…”I managed real words. “Thank you.”

“For what doll?”

“For being you, both of you.”

“I love you Darcy Lewis Stark” Steve kissed my forehead again. Making sure he got a dig in with his new favourite joke. 

“I love you to Steve, and that’s not fucking funny.”

“I love you guys, both of you. Thank you for saving me…”Bucky whispered his affections and I smiled.

“Anytime soldier, just try not to make a habit of it okay” I pulled his arm around me.

“I’ll try” he chuckled.

“Now what were you saying about spaghetti?” I wondered out loud as my stomach growled loudly and both boys laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time. So please, be gentle. 
> 
> I'd love helpful comments and help if there are errors I have not caught. I am sure there are. 
> 
> I don't own any of them.


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